The Light

The Church Mouse

Posted on January 26, 2017 by wisdomfromafather

I went to a funeral a couple of weeks ago. My Aunt Barb — who was more like a cousin because of our ages — died. It was a typical funeral … catching up with my Uncle Dave and cousins Sharon and Mark and meeting their children for the first time. One of the drawbacks of modern life is mobility. Barb and Dave were skirting around the east coast, while Karen and I made our way in the opposite direction.

We would keep in touch by phone, the last time being just before Thanksgiving. She never mentioned she had stage 4 cancer so it came as a surprise when I heard of her death. But, that was Barb. She never wanted anyone fussing over her.

A Mass of Christian Burial was offered at Holy Redeemer Catholic Church in Cleveland. But I wasn’t awed by the ornate sanctuary, the readings by her grandchildren, the words of Father Marty, the celebrant, the smell of the still fresh Christmas decorations or the skillfully carved statue of St. Francis of Assisi sitting on a park bench with his “friends.” No. What caught attention was a “mouse hole” in the front pew railing.

Now I’m sure it wasn’t really a mouse hole or door, but it sure looked like it. It was probably a plug camouflaging a junction box or something.

But it caught my attention and triggered my imagination. I could “see” a fictional mouse with a long tail … a church mouse. And out he came to sit on my shoulder during the service — yes I do speak with fictional furry friends.

I don’t know if he was a poor church mouse, but he was a quiet church mouse … just sitting on my shoulder during Father Marty’s homily.

“He does a good job,” the mouse finally said. “I’ve heard him hundreds of times.”

The point the homilist was trying to make is it isn’t what we do in life, it’s how we share that life and the legacy we leave. The mouse pointed to my cousins and their children and said, “That’s her legacy.”

He went on to say he had seen sadder funerals, not because of the crying or weeping, but because the “legacy wasn’t there.”

“I’ve seen too many people go through life without living life, without sharing life, without leaving a legacy with family and friends.”

I do have to say my new found friend with the long tail was right on. We all have been given a set time and it’s what we do with that time that matters. We can’t squeak [no pun intended] out one more second. When we get the call, we get the call.

In talking with Dave, he mentioned how this was supposed to be their time. They had just done some planning and were getting ready to enjoy life in retirement. I told him simply, “I can relate.”

Life goes on, with or without us my furry friend added. “It’s not what we do that’s important. It’s the relationships we nurture, the foundations we build, the legacy we leave. It sound like Barbara knew that.”

“Yes, she did!”

RIP, Barb. Enjoy your time with Jesus and Grandma and your brothers and sisters and your friends and relatives. Until we meet again …

THOUGHT TO REMEMBER: God’s light shines greater through “cracked pots” than it does through those who have it all together.

Posted in life & love | Tagged church, conversation, dath, DPchallenge, faith, family, funeral, grief, heaven, life, love, mouse, relationships | 7 Comments

Welcome to Rockwood, ME

Posted on January 22, 2017 by wisdomfromafather

My journey in Maine continues. Even an outsider knows Somerset County means Moosehead Lake … so that’s where I headed on an overcast yet pleasant afternoon yesterday [hey, if it’s not snowing, it’s a pleasant day in Maine].

Most of the action around Moosehead Lake is in Greenville. And, yes, I stopped there for some photos. But the destination was Rockwood, about another 20 or so miles north west. I spent some time on the edge of the lake, just watching the snowmobilers dashing on the frozen pond, the fishermen with their poles dunked through a hole in the ice, the fishing huts, some skaters near the shore and even an impromptu hockey game. Peaceful. Peaceful. Peaceful.

I did have dinner reservations at The Birches but got there about an hour before dinner seating, so I opted to sightsee through the wildlife preserve adjacent to the resort. I saw a few deer — including one of the biggest does I had ever seen — and dozens of snowmobilers on the trails. And soaked in the natural beauty and serenity of the day.

The Birches, a 1930s-era hunting and fishing lodge in the heart of Maine’s Great North Woods, the last remaining wilderness in New England, is open year round with an informal pub, a more formal dining room and plenty of fireplaces for ambiance. I talked with some of the snowmobilers as I awaited dinner seating, chatted with a couple who returned for their 34th anniversary and met with some of the locals.

It was an enjoyable dinner, punctuated by the sound of snowmobiles on the lake [very dangerous after dark, I am told], the crackling and smell of wood in the fireplaces and the chatter from the lounge. I chose a crock of onion soup and the special of the night, prime rib — an end cut (which made it a bigger slice) cooked to perfection. In addition to checks from the waitress, the chef/owner stopped in the dining room to make sure all was satisfactory

The onion soup was deeeeelishious … loaded with sweet onions and homemade croutons, then pulled high with gooey mozzarella cheese. Um, Um, Um good. The prime rib hit the spot. It was to much even for this big boy. Can we say leftovers?

And I’m off to Waldo County…

THOUGHT TO REMEMBER: Love, love, love! Don’t let people, places or things get between you and God!

Posted in life & love | Tagged DPchallenge, food, Friends, life, love, Maine, Moosehead Lake, relationships, Review, Rockwood, The Birches | 4 Comments

Five Minute Friday — Refine

Posted on January 21, 2017 by wisdomfromafather

Happy Saturday! It must be time for Five Minute Friday — you know, the time where we collectively write for five minutes (more or less) on a common prompt word and meet up at Kate’s place (http://katemotaung.com/2017/01/19/five-minute-friday-refine/) to share and encourage each other in our writing (and lives!). I encourage you to stop by to experience the words of wisdom and thought these remarkable fellow writers share. Better yet, join in the fun! Yes, it is fun — and discipline and challenging — but mostly fun!

The word this week is REFINE. My timer is set so it it’s time to GO …

As I pondered the prompt I was reminded of a post I shared while writing a remembrance book for my children after Karen died. Early on in our story, I relayed a very, very, sappy and convoluted story about a letter I wrote back in our early pre-engagement days. It was pretty bad. I poured out my heart and soul on paper [yes, we used paper back then, hand written to boot]. It reflected my thoughts during a spat we had.

As I was doing a little research for the book, I stumbled across a letter or journal [I don’t journal] I wrote which summed up my thoughts at the time. It was written after Mom [Karen] and I started dating when, out of the blue, she broke it off for a month “to be sure.” I don’t particularly remember writing it, but it is in my handwriting. I don’t know why I wrote it. But I did. I don’t know how Mom got it or why she kept it all these years, but she did. And remember I was all of 18. As I read it again [https://wisdomfromafather.com/2015/06/24/in-the-blink-of-an-eye-in-the-beginning-2/], I was struck at how sexist and selfish I was, but, then again it was the 60s. It was a pretty hokey synopsis of how a chance meeting turned into true love. You could say I changed some of … no a lot of my views on life, love and relationships.

Hmmm. That would be refining my thoughts as I grew up and experienced some real life.

It got me to think, though, how my views have evolved since the teen years. Of course, having a strong, supportive wife contributed to refining my … STOP

… mindset and views.

The same applies to faith. As a child, I fully accepted doctrine and ritual. I was a follower. Slowly I started looking deeper and started questioning the “whys”. It all lead to the realization faith is not religion. It’s relationship. You could say my faith walk was refined.

Just as precious metals are refined through the fire, our lives, our thoughts, our opinions, our views are refined through the fire of everyday living. Each step we take is a step in the journey from raw to refined. We don’t always have fire, of course, but each experience helps shape us. Savor the experiences. Be refined — daily!

THOUGHT TO REMEMBER: Prayer is simply talking to God. Sometimes religion makes things complicated, but you can talk to God like you’re talking to a friend.

Posted in Five Minute Friday | Tagged Blink of an Eye, blogs, conversation, DPchallenge, encouragement, faith, family, five minute Friday, God, growing up, Karen, love, Memories, observations, refine, reflect, relationships | 4 Comments

Five Minute Friday — Middle

Posted on January 14, 2017 by wisdomfromafather

It’s Five Minute Friday on Saturday time. Although I tried — really — to carve out a couple of minutes for the weekly exercise yesterday, something got in the way. Important things, like taking a nap, cleaning out my car {it really needed it}, taking a nap, watching my granddaughter and her friend attempt to play a video game and bedtime.

But I used the solitude of the night to formulate where I would go with the strange prompt — MIDDLE. In fact, I woke up around 4:30 a.m. and drafted it in my mind. It was quite an exercise that required me going back to sleep. It’s that kind of a Saturday.

I’m ready now, though, to join my fellow FMF writers at Kate’s place (katemotaung.com/2017/01/12/five-minute-friday-middle) and let the wanderings of my mind find their way onto the screen. I really hope you check out their work … or better yet, join in the fun.

The timer has been set to five minutes, so let’s GO …

For some strange reason, my thoughts on the prompt shifted to Stealers Wheel’s Stuck in the Middle with You. You know, clowns to left of me, jokers to the right, here am I stuck in the middle with you.

Perhaps it’s because I’m a middle of the roader. Sure, I have beliefs I would defend to the death … faith, family, friends, country. But for the most part, I’m pretty content meandering down the middle of the road.

It drive me crazy when the ultra left or ultra right dig in. They put on their blinders. They cover their ears. They automatically refuse to look at a problem without invoking the “I’m right, you’re wrong” stance.

You see it in politics. O have we!

You see it in denominations.

You see it in the pro-life, pro-choice camps.

You see it in everyday life.

I think Jesus was a middle of the roader as well. You see, it isn’t that He had ambivalent views, but rather was able to see the truth … STOP

… and nuggets of truth on all sides of an issue. He was as comfortable in the synagogue as the well with the Samaritan woman. He chastised the Pharisees and ate with the tax collector. He embraced the fringes of society. He sought the one lost sheep

When I hear an ultra left or radical right thinking individual spew their narrow-minded narratives, I cringe. Truly — on both sides — I feel like there are clowns to the left of me and jokers to the right.

What ever happened to dialogue? What ever happened to starting with what we agree upon rather than what separates us? What ever happened to an open mind? Whatever happened to civility?

I’m stuck in the middle … with You!

THOUGHT TO REMEMBER: You cannot prevent the birds of sorrow from flying over your head, but you can prevent them from building nests in your hair.

Posted in Five Minute Friday | Tagged communication, conversation, DPchallenge, ecumenism, encouragement, Faith, five minute Friday, God, life, middle, Music, observations, relationships, songs | 2 Comments

Five Minute Friday — Connect

Posted on January 8, 2017 by wisdomfromafather

We’re back! Another season of Five Minute Friday.

Just as a reminder, the weekly exercise is where we receive a prompt word from our hostess, Kate Motaung, then settle down for five uninterrupted minutes of focused writing. Nothing fancy. Nothing extraordinary. Just five minutes of honest, from the soul writing. Then — the best part — we get to share at Kate’s place, http://katemotaung.com/2017/01/05/five-minute-friday-connect/.

Well, the opening word for 2017 is CONNECT. The timer is set for five minutes so it’s time to GO …

I just returned from a funeral. And it reminded me of how little we connect as families. I mean, I saw my cousins for the first time … like in forever. I think it was the first time I met their children. And that’s well, just, sad.

It’s a common problem. We seem to only catch up at weddings and funerals and, unfortunately, more at funerals. Of course, that’s because of our mobile society. My family, for example, is spread out over four states. Even my two cousins, while both living in Ohio, live on opposite ends — Cleveland and Columbus.

A generation ago, families lived nearby. My father and his two brothers lived in a quadplex with grandma and even after the house was sold in the name of progress [building Route 80 in Paterson] they all moved with 10 miles of the homestead. The same with my mom’s family. With the exception of Uncle Joe who was with the U.S. Army Special Forces based in Fort Bragg, NC, all lived within a 10 mile radius of each other.

Social media certainly helps keeping us connected. I recently re-connected with another cousin who lives in Virginia. I communicate with other cousins in New Jersey, Pennsylvania and Connecticut. But words on a screen are not the same as face to face conversations.

After my dad died [by the way, happy birthday Dad], my [second] cousins on his mother’s side got together and organized a DeGrezia family reunion. But we’ve been thus far unable to organize … STOP

… a Siccardi reunion or a Seyer reunion or a Foley reunion. I know how much I appreciated the stories and comraderie at the reunion, getting life updates [good and bad], remembering our foremothers and forefathers, learning about US. I would love to extend that to the other roots of my genealogy.

Connect. It’s the way we foster family and friends.

THOUGHT TO REMEMBER: Wisdom is fundamentally the skill of making life work.

Posted in Five Minute Friday | Tagged communication, connect, DPchallenge, encouragement, family, five minute Friday, life, love, Memories, relationships, reunion, things that matter | 4 Comments

32,544 Miles

Posted on January 1, 2017 by wisdomfromafather

32,544 miles. According to the Department of Motor Vehicles, that’s how many miles I drove inspection to inspection last year. 32,544 miles. Whaaat? That’s insane! How many normal non-professional drivers log 32,544 miles in a year. Wait a minute. I’m talking about me. Forget the “normal” comment.

In my defense, that’s almost 13 months, not 12. I bought the car in early December 2015. Being the procrastinator I am, I didn’t get the car inspected until Friday (Dec. 30).

Seriously, though, the number surprised even me. Then I ran the numbers. Each round trip from New York to Maine is just shy of 1,200 miles –by eight miles — and given a trip per month, that’s over 14,000 miles. Add in about 1,200 miles exploring the Pine Tree State and we’re well over 15,000. A trip back to Paterson tags on 500. Three visits to Ohio (my grandson Ryan’s graduation; my grandson Zack and Khristine’s wedding; and Thanksgiving) contributed 2,500 miles. A trip to Landover, MD, for a football game added 600 and change. The balance — about 12,500 — is just normal running around in a rural area. That’s a lot of Pandora and iHeart Radio.

I’m not complaining. I mean, it has been a fantabulous year with loads of good memories with family and friends.

My oldest son commented, “At 60 mph that means you lived in your car about a month!” Maybe that’s why my car has that “lived in” look. But I would be more concerned about letting my thoughts out in free range mode.

I actually enjoy my time behind the wheel. In a strange demented way, it relaxes me. It’s more than getting from point A to point B. It’s a never-ending kaleidoscope of sights and sounds and seasons. It’s where I think and reflect.

Other than driving in New York City, I think driving in New Jersey offers, shall we say, the most challenges. See, in New Jersey, drivers aren’t bad, but they are impatient and unpredictable. They can’t decide whether to drive 10 miles over or under the speed limit. They can’t decide what lane to be in. They can’t decide whether to pass on the right or the left. They tend to speed up when the speed limit drops and slow down when it increases. It’s a good thing I learned how to drive in northern New Jersey.

You can see Lamborghinis and Mini Coopers — usually passing you on the right and left at the same time. You can see classics and clunkers held together by duct tact chugging down the road.

For the second time in my last two trips on the Garden State Parkway, I witnessed a vehicle fully engulfed in flames. The northbound lanes [where I was] slowed down to gawk [me included] while the southbound lane was closed as emergency personnel did their thing. As an update, the driver was badly injured when his 2000 GMC Jimmy sport utility vehicle flipped over and caught fire in the southbound median.

Navigation is just as unpredictable. On my return from the shore this weekend, Google maps didn’t reverse the course down [81 to 380 to PA 33 to 78 to 287 to GSP] , but had me stay on the GSP to 280 to 80 to 380 to 81. Supposedly it was one minute faster. Actually, it was the first time I had ever been on 280, which winds its way through the Oranges and Caldwells.

I’m well on my way for the new year with a 616 mile adventure to Seaside Heights for First Night Ocean County. When I unfetter myself from newspaper duties, watch out. There will be nothing stopping me from the open road. In fact, I would love to make a cross country trip from sea to shining sea catching up with family and friends scattered along the way. I sure wish I had a co-pilot … not necessarily for the company but to keep my free range thoughts somewhat penned up.

THOUGHT TO REMEMBER: There is a joining of the mind and heart, a letting go of the offense and its memory. Another word for this is grace.

Posted in life & love | Tagged DPchallenge, driving, family, friends, grandchildren, humor, Jersey Shore, joy, life, love, Maine, Memories, New Jersey, relationships, Seaside Heights, travel | 3 Comments

THE Game

Posted on December 31, 2016 by wisdomfromafather

In all my [many, many] years, I don’t think I’ve ever seen more excitement about an out of market football game. Sunday night’s Green Bay Packers-Detroit Lions battle in Detroit looms as THE game of the year.

For my non-football following fans, the game is for all the marbles in the NFC North and a chance for seeding and/or a trip to the big dance. The NFL North is black and blue football where the elements have as much a bearing on the game as the skill set of the players … although Detroit and Minnesota have wimped out and opted for domes.

Football fans will always talk football, but traditionally it’s regional. When I lived in Illinois, the Chicago Bears [a successful franchise at the time] were the topic of discussion. In fact as a Illini transplant, all the Bears banter pushed me to the Packers [not successful at the time but with this crazy quarterback, Brett Favre, under center] camp. In New England, if you don’t root for the Patriots you’re even more of an outsider [which means you have to work twice as hard to win them over]. Right now, I’m at the Jersey shore for First Night Ocean County [fireworks over the ocean] and smack in the middle of New York Giants/New York Jets and Philadelphia Eagles territory. You’ve heard of the 12th man in Seattle, the rabid Raiders fans, America’s team the Dallas Cowboys, etc. in each region of the country.

But despite all that, if someone spots a Packers license frame, Packers hats/jackets or anything else Green Bay this week, the conversation immediately shifted to THE game.

I’ll give you a couple of examples. The other day, I dropped my car off for an oil change and inspection. As I went toward the waiting area, the detail person spotted my Packers jacket and stopped work to discuss THE game. He was a Detroit fan and after some playful banter, noted this appears to be a typical Lions season … full of expectations only to have hopes dashed at the end. We shook hands and agreed to enjoy THE game.

In the waiting room, there was another Packer backer. Immediately we started talking about the season. While chatting, another woman walked into the room and joined the conversation. She, too, was a Packer fan. Now, what better way to while away an hour or so than talking football … Packer football more specific. And how weird was it there were three Packer backers in a waiting room in Ithaca? Well, Buffalo is the area’s football rep. Enough said.

When I checked in at the motel, a couple from Maryland were also checking in. Mr. was decked out in all Washington … knit cap, ‘Skins jacket, even Redskins “outdoor” jammies. Mrs. had dangling Washington earrings and a bright, sparkly Redskins sweatshirt. Of course, we engaged in football talk … me lamenting the fact the ‘Skins beat my Packers in Washington and Mr. expressing hope his team gets the help to make the playoffs. But quickly, the conversation switched to THE game. “We have a tough one,” Mr. said [the Redskins play the Giants with playoff ramifications], “but you have the game of the week.”

When I stopped at the diner for dinner last night I was greeted with, “Welcome. Santa in a Packer jacket.” It set the tone for a pleasant meal with engaging conversation about THE game.

At breakfast this morning, chatter was all about the Packers-Lions game.

I can only imagine what the rest of the day will bring. All I know is I expect to be back home by kickoff, comfortably nestled in my easy chair with a cold beer and some munchies [healthy, of course], watching THE game. That, my friends, is a great way to start the new year.

THOUGHT TO REMEMBER: Our natural tendency is to do the sensible thing. The call of God is to live and walk by faith in the promises that have been declared and confirmed in the good news of God’s redeeming love in Jesus Christ.

Posted in life & love | Tagged conversation, DPchallenge, football, friends, humor, life, Lions, love, Packers, relationships, the game | 1 Comment

Someone’s Listening

Posted on December 30, 2016 by wisdomfromafather

A couple of weeks ago when I stopped at this quaint little diner, I received more than lunch.

To set the scene, I had my phone turned on — something I rarely do in public places. But I was expecting a call, so instead of vibrate, I had the ringer on.

Sure enough, as I was sipping my soup, the phone rang and I noticed a woman on the other side of the diner looking at me. I mouthed “I’m sorry” as I started my conversation, albeit not with the person I was expecting.

As I was eating my sandwich, the phone rang again. The woman again gave me that look and I again apologized at the intrusion. Again, it wasn’t the call I was expecting.

As I was finishing my meal, you guessed it, the phone rang again — an oddity in itself because no one generally calls me, and certainly not three separate calls in the span of a half hour.

This time, the woman came over to the table. I got up to apologize yet again, but she interrupted me. “Every time I heard the phone ring, I thought it was my daughter’s,” she explained.

Well, who knew. It seems this woman’s daughter and I had the same ring tone. But what’s even more odd is it isn’t a run of the mill ring tone. It’s Francesca Battistelli’s If We’re Honest. As she was putting on her gloves she explained the coincidence. Every time the phone rang, it reminded her of her daughter, who coincidentally, was also in the restaurant. She confirmed her mother’s story, then continued by expanding the conversation.

By this time we were sitting at the table over another cup of coffee. Her daughter said she “loved” that song and artist, although she admitted she had moved on to a new ring tone, Battistelli’s Giants Fall.

The conversation continued with the younger woman explaining she was a local youth pastor, with her mom giving her a supportive look. We had a very nice chat about our common appreciation of Battistelli’s music (and other contemporary Christian artists), our life’s journey, the upcoming Christmas season. It all ended in a hug, with the owner/waitress — who joined us at the table as the lunch rush waned.

It was another serendipitous example of people — strangers — communicating and lifting each other up (no prayers offered). It was perhaps just a one time encounter. But it was the highlight of the meal.

And to think, I thought it was just a ringtone.

THOUGHT TO REMEMBER: Betting on the future is both an act of faith and trust.

Posted in life & love | Tagged christian, communication, conversation, DPchallenge, ecumenism, encouragement, faith, friends, life, listeening, love, music, relationships | Leave a comment

A Christmas Prayer — 2016

Posted on December 25, 2016 by wisdomfromafather

As a Christmas gift to myself, I again vowed to take Christmas off. No writing. No work.

But I did want to share a Christmas message. What to do?

Well, as I did last year, I “borrowed” some words my wife wrote, which have become a staple for Christmas in the Reveille/Between the Lakes. I thought it was time to expand the readership and pass her words along to an entirely new audience. And I pre-posted the blog, scheduling its release Christmas Day.

Thanks, Karen, for your timeless words and a new tradition. And thanks to all followers and readers for the friendships and comments. May you all have a Merry Christmas and a New Year filled with happiness, holiness and blessing.

And now, A Christmas Prayer from Karen…

For many of us, life seems to have shifted into the fast lane, and Christmas seems to come upon us earlier and earlier each year. With so much to do and little time to do it, we may find ourselves becoming grumpy, often mimicking familiar scenes from A Christmas Carol. With time at a premium, our thoughts seem to be consumed with what still has to be done or bought rather than focusing on the real reason we celebrate Christmas.

It’s not the presents found under the tree on Christmas morning, the giving or the taking … It’s not the trees or wreaths or the fancy decorations … It’s certainly not the commercialism or hustle and bustle that often puts us in a foul mood, the exact opposite of what the Lord’s birth was designed to offer.

Jesus was born into poverty. Imagine for a moment a stable birth, simply because no one had room for them.

Do we have room for Jesus today? Is He the focal point in our days? Or is He being told there is no room (time) in our busy schedules?

Ironically, that was Christ’s first gift to us – HUMILITY. No one can be great until they humble themselves.

The Lord’s precious gifts to us don’t stop there. Throughout His life, He demonstrated CHARITY, oft proclaimed the greatest of virtue.

What do we do?

Take and take some more. Dollars will come and go, inflation continues to bounce up and down, yet, there is always something we can give, but so often forget to do. Rich or poor, we can give love, understanding, compassion, a kind word or deed or a warm smile on a cold wintry day. Gifts don’t always have to be equated with the material things in life. Our gifts from the heart are equally important and can be used to help feed our own lives as well as the lives of others.

We can’t forget FAITH and HOPE. Faith is the belief in things we can neither see nor understand. Hope keeps things in proper perspective. Together, they lead to TRUST.

This Christmas, let us ask for help in attaining these virtues. And as a New Year resolution – which we can start today – let’s attempt to practice them in our daily lives.

Christmas is the celebration of the birth of our Savior. Without “Christ” in Christmas we really have nothing to celebrate.

Merry Christmas to all of our readers. May the PEACE and JOY our Lord brought with Him so many years ago be with each and everyone of you.

THOUGHT TO REMEMBER: A thousand times in history a baby has become a king, but only once in history did a King become a baby.

Posted in Sunday sermonette | Tagged blogs, charity, christmas, DPchallenge, encouragement, faith, friends, holidays, hope, humility, Inspiration, joy, Karen, Memories, peace, Prayer, relationships, trust, writing | Leave a comment

The Light

The Church Mouse

Welcome to Rockwood, ME

Five Minute Friday — Refine

Five Minute Friday — Middle

Five Minute Friday — Connect

32,544 Miles

THE Game

Someone’s Listening

A Christmas Prayer — 2016

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