The Light

Father’s Day Musings

Posted on June 21, 2015 by wisdomfromafather

Happy Father’s Day … to me and to you.

Writing with a broad brush, Father’s Day isn’t one of those high-ranking holidays for dads. I mean, it’s probably more important to the folks at Hallmark than to the average dad. Don’t get me wrong, the attention is nice, just not necessary.

Fathers come in all stripes, from non-existent deadbeats to hovering … and every shade of gray in between. But in general, we don’t need a special day to feel important. The cards are appreciated. The calls are welcomed. The knick-knacks and ties are treasured. But it’s all unnecessary. Without ever saying it, we know how important we are in the lives of our children. We want them to succeed. We want them to excel. We want them to be happy.

And we don’t “need” things. If we want something — like a new grill or tool — we just go out and get it. We don’t have to wait for a special “day.”

My dad, for example, never showed a lot of emotion and that gene has been passed down to me. An “Ahhh” is about the best you’ll get.

And my dad didn’t know anything about anything when I was coming to be. It’s amazing how much he learned in the five years from my adolescence to my actually becoming a father. And as I aged, I understood more fully how much wisdom he actually had … and how similar we had become.

Fatherhood is getting by, balancing work and home life, doing things as a family, when to say no and when to just roll with the punches, picking your battles, screwing up with class, and teaching — always teaching through example. As a father you quickly learn little Johnny or Sally is not going to stop crying, you’re in a war of wills and the best you can hope for is to get through children with a sound mind intact.

It’s always been that way.

I can just imagine the wisecracks Noah heard from his kids when he was building the ark.

I can imagine the flack Joseph took when he “lost” Jesus. I can hear Mary saying, “I told you to watch him!” In Joseph’s defense he was probably talking to his neighbor Moshe about his latest project in the workshop and only half-heard Mary until miles separated father and son. And dutifully he backtracked his steps until he found him. {Come on, we’ve all lost a kid in the Walmart racks at one time or another in our lives.}

On second thought, maybe fathers should be honored and recognized. It’s a pretty impressive task getting siblings out of the house without them killing each other. I did … and that’s better than Adam.

Happy Father’s Day!

THOUGHT TO REMEMBER: The most important sex organ is the brain.

Posted in children, family, holidays, love, relationships | Tagged children, conversation, DPchallenge, family, Father's Day, Happy Father's Day, holidays, humor, Humor, Life, love, relationships | 2 Comments

Five Minute Friday — Fear

Posted on June 20, 2015 by wisdomfromafather

Ready for Five Minute Friday?

Well, here goes … a day late {as is my norm} … but ready nonetheless.

The timer is set for five minutes and the prompt word — FEAR — has been pondered so let’s GO …

I don’t really have very many fears … except maybe for ferris wheels, stemming from an incident when I was about five and got stuck on top for about an eternity {probably two minutes} … or ladders, not because of the height but because I have enough trouble walking on flat ground.

But I am afraid of dying. Not death. My faith is grounded enough for me to know my place in eternity and if I’m wrong, so what.

But I am afraid of the process of dying. Now I haven’t encountered too many long, drawn out, tube-filled, beeping machines death scenes in my life. But it’s precisely that scenario that scares the bejeebers out of me … not because I might have to go through it but because my loved ones may have to go through it. That isn’t something I would want them to experience.

As I get older I notice things … STOP

like my more erratic gait, the extra aches and pains {some of which I share and others I choose to bear}, my dependence on others, friends and contemporaries in the hospital or funeral home. And it bothers me.

Someday it could be me. My prayer — like everyone else’s, I suppose — is go peacefully … in my sleep … untethered to any machines. Just a step from one realm to another.

It may not be so … and that’s my fear.

Well, that’s it. See what other writers thought about the prompt at Kate’s place (http://katemotaung.com/2015/06/18/five-minute-friday-fear-plus-a-new-video-and-a-giveaway/). It’s worth the visit.

THOUGHT TO REMEMBER: Be eccentric now. Don’t wait for old age to wear purple.

Posted in Five Minute Friday, relationships | Tagged DPchallenge, fear, five minute Friday, Life, relationships | 1 Comment

In the Blink of an Eye … In the Beginning 1

Posted on June 17, 2015 by wisdomfromafather

Love is patient; love is kind; love is not envious or boastful or
arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not
irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice in wrongdoing, but rejoices in the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things…
1 Corinthians 13:4-7

Where do I begin?

The truth of the matter is the first time I saw your mother, I almost ran her over.

You probably all know, Mom initially was going out with Uncle Bernie. One night back in the spring of ‘66, Bernie and I were just cruising like we usually did on a Saturday night. We were in my ’57 Studebaker Silver Hawk and Bernie was telling me about this girl he dated. We should drive by her house and see if she’s around. You should meet her, he said.

So it was down Albion Avenue I went and sure enough there she was in the middle of the street talking with some friends and watching her sister jumping rope if I remember correctly. The Studebaker was a sports car with a long nose and a low seat. Mom was so darn skinny, the way she was turned I almost didn’t see her and I almost did hit her.

Talk about a first impression!

I really wasn’t impressed. She seemed nice as we talked but, man, was she skinny! I bet you she must have been all of 90 pounds.

But Bernie liked her and that was OK by me. I was going out – not steady but fairly regularly – with an Irish girl named Nora Daley. Neither Bernie nor I remember quite how we got into these relationships, but we sort of traced it back to a girl named Pat Conklin who went to school with Karen. They weren’t friends, but friends of friends, and somehow or other, I ended up with Nora and Bernie ended up with Mom.

I remember the first time we went out on a double date. I was the impetuous one and decided about 8:30 on a Friday night I wanted a sausage and pepper sandwich from the Jersey shore. So we went. Now the Jersey shore is about an hour and a half away from Paterson so it was about 10 o’clock when we got to the boardwalk. We got our sausage and pepper sandwiches, walked the boardwalk, strolled on the beach under the stars and Mom came over to me and whispered, “I have to be home by midnight.”

True story. Honest to God. It’s after 10, we’re 85 miles away and she had to be home by midnight!

We literally ran back to the car (taking a time out for a Kohr’s frozen custard) and headed home. Didn’t quite make it back by midnight, but it wasn’t too bad … maybe a quarter after. Mom was grounded for a week!

Meanwhile, Mom and Bernie, as well as Nora and I, continued to date. Occasionally we would date other girls, but we generally stuck with Mom and Nora. We didn’t double date a lot, but it wasn’t unusual to meet at Pizza Town or the hot dog joint after a movie (Not Rutt’s Hut, though, that was “guy” territory where we threw the BS about our dates).

To make a long story short, Bernie got drafted. He went out with Mom, but didn’t love her. She was fun to be with, but it was all one-sided. But, she was starting to fall in love with him. I eventually took her to Fort Dix, where Bernie did his basic training, and he told her he was going to Vietnam and to forget him. It was his way of letting her down.

I remember the ride home. All she did was cry … and even my stupid jokes (yes, I even had stupid jokes back then) didn’t cheer her up. She really went on a downer. Over the next couple of months, I would find myself calling her up just to chat. It wasn’t threatening. We didn’t have a relationship.

She became a friend with a different perspective from my guy friends … Bernie, Carmen and Murray. The way she listened is really what attracted Mom to me.

For example, I was going through a particularly dark time in my life as well. I was in the top 10% of my class at Don Bosco Tech and found myself in classes at Manhattan College with more kids than we had in the whole DBT school. I was also enrolled in electrical engineering, started classes a week late because of a scheduling error and was hopelessly lost. I also had “issues” with my mom and dad.

To bring things into perspective, I really thought I was going crazy. In one of my conversations with Mom, I mentioned the mother of another friend of mine was a psychologist. She knew what I was going through and said she was willing to talk me through it.

Mom convinced me to go … and reinforced the therapy during our late night talks over tea.

To be continued …

THOUGHT TO REMEMBER: Over prepare, then go with the flow.

Posted in Blink of an Eye, family, growing up, love, Memories, Mom, relationships, stories | Tagged anecdotes, Blink of an Eye, communication, family, Friends, friends, growing up, In the Blink of an Eye, Jersey Shore, Jersey shore, Life, love, Memories, Mom, Paterson, relationships, Seaside Heights, stories | Leave a comment

Five Minute Friday — World

Posted on June 13, 2015 by wisdomfromafather

It’s Saturday … That means it’s time for Five Minute Friday. I know. I know. I don’t know my days. But I generally like going through the Friday exercise … even if I’m a little late on the trigger. I appreciate the words of my fellow writers at Kate’s place (http://katemotaung.com/2015/06/11/five-minute-friday-world-plus-our-first-international-fmf-video-intro/). I hope you stop by there as well to see how many varied takes there are on a particular prompt … all written at breakneck speed and off the cuff {generally} for five minutes {more or less}. It’s truly an exercise to channel your thoughts quickly.

So, the time is set for the prompt WORLD so let’s GO…

We typically think of the world as our world. Unless you are a world traveler, what goes on elsewhere around the globe just doesn’t seem to resonate with us. We’re concerned with our little, compact world … our needs … our desires … our problems … our successes … our failures.

But if you can step back and look at the great picture, you quickly realize needs, desires, problems, successes and failures go beyond our sphere. They affect every human being on the planet. And, if you connect the dots, you can see our needs, desires, problems, successes and failure affect others not only in our world but worldwide.

Now I know something I do or say will have little impact half a globe away, but I have learned through blogging my words are being read worldwide. Some from countries I’ve never even heard of have responded. My world influenced their world.

Of course, that’s largely because of social media, but in … STOP

… a sense our actions have an overlap. It starts with our circle of family and friends and ripples to their families and friends and so on. I am always amazed when I find my words being “found” by a long lost friend or relative, be it down the street, hundreds of miles away or halfway around the world.

We happen to be located in a particular spot in the world … but we are all connected. Welcome brothers and sisters.

THOUGHT TO REMEMBER: Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don’t save it for a special occasion. Today is special.

Posted in encouragement, Five Minute Friday, relationships | Tagged Blogs, communication, DPchallenge, encouragement, five minute Friday, relationships, world, Writing | 4 Comments

In the Blink of an Eye — Prologue

Posted on June 10, 2015 by wisdomfromafather

As promised, today I’ll begin the weekly peek into the life Karen and I had. It’s her legacy. I hope you get the chance to know and love her as I did.

After Karen died, I decided part of my grief therapy would be writing a memoir — not my own, but of our life together. I gathered information from my recollections, her journals and other sources and spent the next six months crafting In the Blink of an Eye: 40 Years of Memories.

I decided to give it to my children as a gift — a glimpse of their Mom through my eyes. It covered our life together — from how we met, how we lived the ups and downs of our lives, how we survived 40 years of marriage and five children, how we struggled at the end.

I think this venue would be appropriate for sharing those words with you … to give you some insight just how much Karen influenced my life, to help you understand where I’m coming from, to help you peel back additional layers of my life. And I have my children’s blessing.

Some of the material has already been used in previous posts, but there are other aspects that will be new — especially the artwork. So, here goes…

For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven:
   a time to be born, and a time to die;
   a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted;
   a time to kill, and a time to heal;
   a time to break down, and a time to build up;
   a time to weep, and a time to laugh;
   a time to mourn, and a time to dance;
   a time to throw away stones, and a time to gather stones together;
   a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;
   a time to seek, and a time to lose;
   a time to keep, and a time to throw away;
   a time to tear, and a time to throw away;
   a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
   a time to love, and a time to hate;
   a time for war, and a time for peace …
Ecclesiastes 3:1-9

This booklet is a reflection on the life Mom and I had together … 40 years of memories in the blink of an eye. It’s a chronicle of the journey we took together and an opportunity to share some insights into our life together, perhaps dispel a few rumors and substantiate some of those urban legends that made up our marriage.

It truly was a journey … with plenty of ups and downs … twists and turns … smooth sailing and detours. It was the intersecting of two totally different lives, personalities and experiences — I am convinced — with God’s help, blended into our family.

I have to be honest. My memory isn’t as sharp as it was and, in many respects, our life together wasn’t all that spectacular. It was rather routine. But it also was grounded in mutual love and respect … and when those two factors surfaced, the memories replaced the mundane.

Mom had an incredible passion for life, although her early experiences often quelled that fire. She was realistic … I was the dreamer. She saw the glass half empty … I saw it half full. She was prone to worry … I was aloof.

It was precisely this disparity, I think, that made our marriage work. Very few times in our 40 years were we both approaching situations the same way … or as Mom would say, “right brain … left brain.” It was Mom’s realism that tempered my dreams, just as much as it was my aloofness that quieted her fears. We never really decided whether the glass was half full or half empty. Instead, we both became grateful we had a glass at all.

That being said, we were never off doing “our own thing.” Both of us made a commitment to each other and all of our decisions — right or wrong — were focused on each other.

Her final request of me was to continue her prayer you guys will all come to know and accept the Lord. To quote her, “I really want my entire family to be able to hug again; and you know that means all of those grandkids too! Gotta pray for each and every one of them. I have always prayed for the ones we have now and the ones yet to come and our great-grandchildren whom I’ll never meet.”

She added, “Don’t cry because I’m no longer here but laugh over the silly things we did, the trials we had and were able to weather. Kids playing in laundry baskets (Dee); kids falling down two flights of stairs every Sunday for several weeks (Nicolle); sons who were more interested in showing off than hitting a T-ball (Scott); other sons who kept getting beaned by balls (Joe); and the son who was happy as a clam catching his first fish (Jay) … Cry for awhile but then put on a happy face and move on with your lives knowing that I am in a far, far better place in the arms of my Lord. Know that I will be waiting for you guys and will have the biggest hugs ready when I see you again.”

That’s Mom … a woman of depth and faith. It is the legacy she leaves.

As you go through these pages, it is my hope you will see Mom not through your eyes, but through mine. In addition to being Mom, I hope you see the strong, passionate, grounded woman I saw … from the beginning right through to the end.

Also, as you go through these pages, you may have more questions. I may have left something out that you wondered about. The beauty of this tome is it is not chiseled in stone. It can be amended to be a true living history.

I’ve included photos, cartoons and even Mother’s Day/Anniversary/Birthday/Christmas cards she collected over the years.

I hope you enjoy the booklet as much as I enjoyed — sometimes painfully — writing it and sharing my insights about the most beautiful, true woman I ever knew … your Mom.

THOUGHT TO REMEMBER: When it comes to going after what you love in life, don’t take no for an answer.

Posted in Blink of an Eye, celebration, family, joy, love, Memories, Mom, relationships | Tagged Blink of an Eye, celebration, conversation, DPchallenge, Faith, faith, family, joy, Life, love, Memories, Mom, relationships | 3 Comments

Motorized Memories

Posted on June 7, 2015 by wisdomfromafather

As many of you know, my little red truck was stuck in New Jersey for a couple of week. As a result, I spent the weeks driving my son’s vehicles — his truck, the Pacifica and the van. In fact, the bank teller quipped, “I never know what you’re driving!” during one of drive-through visits.

Last week, I drove up in my little red truck. My smiling teller said, “I thought you got rid of that!”

Knife to the heart!

I relayed the story to a friend, who said, “You’ll probably post something about it.” When I asked what she meant, she said, “You’re always writing about your rides.”

“No way,” I countered … until I went back and read through some of my other posts.

Guilty.

My motorized memories are just that … memories. Many people can relate to a song to place them back at an event. While certain songs do that for me as well, most of my memories are tied to time behind the wheel.

For example, my first car was a 1956 Dodge. I was driving my Studebaker Silver Hawk when I first met Karen. I couldn’t tell you what song was playing. I took her out on our first date in my Corvair. I do remember we watched Dr. Zhivago at the drive in and both fell asleep. The day before we got married we bought a 1968 Plymouth Fury.

I took Karen to the hospital for our first born’s birth in the Plymouth, but I was driving a 1957 Cadillac deVille at the time. On my college graduation day, my son and I were T-boned in my Subaru wagon by another Caddy {both of us were fine, but the Subaru didn’t fare too well}. Daughter No. 1 was born after a trip to the hospital in the Chevy wagon. We moved into our first house during a snowstorm in a VW Khia wagon, which was also used to take Karen to the hospital for Son 2.

We moved from New Jersey to Illinois in a Dodge wagon that had part of the rear floorboard missing {It was summer, I sold it as air conditioning}. I took Karen to the hospital for Daughter 2’s birth while driving my Buick Riviera and Son 3 in my mom’s hand-me-down Dodge Coronet. We bought a Chevy Metro just before moving to Ohio and a pair of Hyundai Excels before heading to Washington, DC, although only one of them made it to New York. I took Karen on her last ride home from the doctor’s in a Ford Taurus.

And my little red truck — a 1998 Ford Ranger; no frills; standard transmission; four cylinders; dents and dings all over the place; mismatched tail lights; a fair amount of Swiss cheese effect on the bumper and quarter panels from years of New York winters; and even a drip on the passenger side when it gets caught in a downpour — was the first vehicle I purchased without any input from my wife.

In the almost seven years since I’ve had the truck, I’ve put on over 135,000 miles. It has become a trusted friend. It has enough vim and vigor to keep me honest {I do have to check the speedometer occasionally because it will sort of take off on you, especially when my foot gets a little heavy} while still getting in the mid 20s mpg. It has taken me to various destinations in New York as well as to Maine, Massachusetts, New Jersey, Pennsylvania, Ohio and even Illinois without as much of a whimper. Despite being a light two-wheeler, it has weathered snow, wind, rain and bitter cold. The only negative is it is not power nap friendly.

It has been quite a rush driving it around with the windows open and the radio cranked up {have you noticed country sounds a lot better in a pick up truck?}.

Some day — probably sooner rather than later — my little red truck will be “retired” to the great junkyard in the sky. But for now, it’s just another memory maker. It will join the dozens of motorized memories stored in my mind, like my {actually Karen’s} 1950 Dodge … the 57 Mercury convertible sans most of the roof … the VW bus … the 93 Ford Bronco .. and many, many others.

THOUGHT TO REMEMBER: It’s never too late to be happy. But it’s all up to you and no one else.

Posted in family, Memories, relationships, travel | Tagged DPchallenge, family, humor, Humor, Memories, relationships, travel, vehicles | 8 Comments

Five Minute Friday — Gift

Posted on June 5, 2015 by wisdomfromafather

The Five Minute Friday prompt this week reminded me of a sermon I preached a few years back. I decided to share some of it as my weekly writing exercise.

In case you’ve forgotten, Five Minute Friday is a flash mob of writers interpreting a singular word. We congregate at Kate’s place (http://katemotaung.com/2015/06/04/five-minute-friday-gift/)to share our work and I invited you to visit to see just what these incredible writers have contributed.

So, here goes. I’m not setting the timer, but it’s time to GO on the prompt word GIFT…

While heaven is a gift from God, we have to accept it. We have to unwrap the present.

Certainly some of us just tear into that package. Chards of paper go flying as we rip open the wrapping to reveal the gift. Others are more deliberate, carefully unwrapping the box. It takes seemingly forever to separate the paper from the gift.

That leads us to our second responsibility. What are we going to do with that gift? Are we going to place it on a shelf and look at it from a distance? Or are we going to use it, enjoy it, share it.

You see, I think when we meet God face to face, He’s not going to ask us how much money we gave or how often we went to church or how we supported missions. He’s going to ask us two simple questions.

First, He is going to ask us if we believe in His Son.

I think everyone who passes themselves off as a Christian will correctly answer that question. You see, Jesus Christ — His Son — is the gift. For God so loved the world that He gave His only Son, so that everyone who believes in Him may not perish but have eternal life (John 3:16). That’s the good news.

But I think there will be a second question. What did you do with that gift?

It might be enough to get us into heaven just believing in Christ but if He is just a trophy sitting on a shelf to be seen only on Sundays and special occasions, do we really believe? Or are we fooling ourselves?

That’s why the second question is so important. We have to believe not only in Christ but in His power. And we have to use that power every day. And we have to share that power. And we have to allow Christ to shine through us in all we do and say.

Even Jesus did things … made choices … performed actions. He instructed the servants on what to do when He turned water into wine. He told the disciples to find the kid with the fish. He healed the sick. He raised people from the dead including. He took advantage of the circumstances at the time and used them for God’s good.

That’s what we’re called to do. Use the gift. Make choices. Do something. Be observant. Keep the big picture in sight. Let the Light of the fire shine through. Take time to witness the little ordinary everyday miracles. Watch spring spring. Enjoy the sunshine even on a cold, windy day. Hold a baby. Dance in the rain. Sing. Soak in life.

Each day, angels visit the footsteps of the faithful, leaving gifts that quietly offer God’s grace, comfort and protection. All we have to do is recognize them and pick them up.

Some of us received the gift at an early age. I, for example, accepted Christ as an early teen when I received the sacrament of Confirmation. It was then I reasoned, if I was talking the talk of following Jesus, I had to walk the walk as well. And even though I’ve strayed from the path from time to time, I’ve tried to make sure my way was synonymous with His way. Others come to Christ later in life, an epiphany, an “ah hah” moment. They tend to be passionate about their faith. I call them Paul Christians, turning their back on their past on their own road to Damascus and using the gift to move forward.

Others, unfortunately, are still waiting. Some may be working on the wrapping. Others may be working on other presents — self, idols, control, anger, impurity, evil desires, greed.

It’s up to us seasoned and newbie Christians to let the power of Christ shine through for them, not by telling them but by showing them. You can’t preach or prod or persuade or nag them to salvation, but you can show them salvation. You can be the example. You can be the spark. You can be the conduit God uses to present His gift to another soul.

Don’t leave your Jesus in the pew. Bring Him home with you so others can see why Jesus — complex and complicated, simple and uncomplicated — is such a valued gift.

Don’t wait until you’re sorta, kinda dead to realize the importance of the gift we’ve been given. Let the Light shine through us while we’re very much alive.

What are you doing with the gift of Jesus Christ?

THOUGHT TO REMEMBER: Whatever doesn’t kill you really does make you stronger.

Posted in encouragement, Five Minute Friday, relationships | Tagged communication, conversation, DPchallenge, encouragement, Faith, faith, five minute Friday, gift, Life, love, relationships | 2 Comments

In the Blink of an Eye

Posted on June 3, 2015 by wisdomfromafather

It was a bittersweet assignment … especially re-living those final six months. I shared the tears and fears as well as the triumphs. I explained how some of the “routines” we had came to be. I tried to separate fact from the urban legends of time. I included tons of photos, cards and cartoons. And I sandwiched those 40 years with a prologue and epilogue.

I asked the kids if they would object to sharing, especially because they are interspersed on the pages. They have given me their permission. As my middle son said, “Our greatest gift and blessing to others comes when we share our story.”

Some of the material has already been used in previous posts, but there are other aspects that will be new — especially the artwork.

So, beginning next Wednesday, I’ll begin a weekly peek into the life Karen and I had. It’s her legacy. I hope you get the chance to know and love her as I did.

THOUGHT TO REMEMBER: Get rid of anything that isn’t useful. Clutter weighs you down in many ways.

Posted in celebration, encouragement, family, love, Memories, Mom, relationships, stories | Tagged celebration, communication, DPchallenge, encouragement, Faith, faith, family, love, Memories, Mom, relationships, stories, Writing, writing | 8 Comments

Trinity Sunday

Posted on June 1, 2015 by wisdomfromafather

Sunday, our pastor offered a challenge. I’m going to extend it here.

Sunday was Trinity Sunday. Most Christians are Trinitarians — believers in God as Father, Son and Holy Spirit — or at least they say they are. The reality is who understands the Trinity?

It’s a mystery of faith … like the Incarnation or Atonement or Creation. We have Scripture to help give us a glimpse of what we believe. But it does little to explain how we believe or why we believe. Certainly, the latter can be explained by the circular thought — we believe because we believe. To an extent, Christianity is based on that same reasoning.

Pastor Steve asked when we first believed in the Trinity. Most traced it back to Sunday school days. But when he twisted the question to how, the answers quieted. Most said because they were taught about the Trinity, reinforced by hymns. No one could explain it, although I suspect we all have a reasoning mechanism to make something mysterious seem relevant.

Pastor Steve reduced the connection to the analogy of making syrup. You start with water, sugar and flavoring — three distinct and separate entities. But when you mix them together, they are forever joined. You can’t distill pure water, or white sugar or even just the flavoring after they are joined.

It’s a good analogy, but for the Trinity to make sense in my mind, I equate it to a person. Although I don’t profess to be god — I was a husband and am a father and a boss. One person. Three distinct roles. Three distinct manifestations. In my role as a husband, I still was a father and a boss. In my role as a father, I remained a husband and boss. As a boss, I was still a husband and father.

I see the godhead similarly. God as Father is the foundation. God as Son is the shepherd guiding the flock. God as Spirit is the energy directing our daily walk. You can’t have one without the others. They’re intertwined.

That’s my take. What about you? What comes to mind when you think about the Trinity? Do you even think about it? Or are you comfortable just accepting it as a mystery of faith?

I would love to hear and share your take.

THOUGHT TO REMEMBER: Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.

Posted in observations, relationships, sermon, Trinity | Tagged DPchallenge, Faith, faith, God, observations, relationships, sermon, Trinity | 8 Comments

Sharing the Story

Posted on May 30, 2015 by wisdomfromafather

I walked into church last Sunday and spotted Pastor Steve and his wife up near the podium. I immediately went up there to welcome them back after two weeks of subbing in the pulpit. I gave Karen a big hug and she responded by handing me a little post-in note with four dates on it. Recognizing the quizzical look on my face, she added, “These are the next dates we’ll be gone.”

My immediately thought was, “Oh great. That means I have to wear my suit again!”

Seriously, I consider it an honor and privilege to lead worship. And I take the commission to share the good news of the Gospel and the not-always good news of the Old Testament seriously. May these words of my mouth and this meditation of my heart be pleasing in YOUR sight, LORD, my Rock and my Redeemer.

I don’t preach. I am not qualified, although I have taken master level theology classes in the Synoptic Gospels, Old Testament History & Interpretation and Systemic Theology. I try to turn the liturgical readings into everyday examples and weave theology and real-life Christianity into a lesson we all can follow, including myself. I know I grow each time I lead worship.

The question is, how did I get into such a leadership role?

This week, I remembered a conversation I had with Dan Ring, then-pastor of St. Ignatius Parish in Oregon, OH. During the transition from Illinois to Ohio — while the family was still in Illinois — I spent the week living in the parish rectory and commuting home for the weekend. With crazy schedules, Dan and I didn’t see a lot of each other, but one night after a late meeting, I noticed the light in the study was on so I popped my head in to say “Hi” and “Good night.” He motioned to me to come in.

“I need a break. I’m working on my homily and it’s just not coming together,” he said as I sat in the chair across from his desk. And we spent the next half hour just catching up.

Somewhere in that conversation, I said I couldn’t write a homily. He laughed and said, “Sure you could … and you would be good at it.”

He then explained a good homily isn’t about the texts. It’s about relating those words of Scripture to today, to today’s Christians, to today’s events. If you show the congregation HOW Scripture relates to them, they become interested in it.

“You do that with the newspaper. [I was associate publisher of the Catholic Chronicle in Toledo, OH, responsible for bringing the newspaper back to the diocese after a 38 year association linked with the dioceses of Cleveland and Youngstown. During those early days I spent countless hours visiting with the deaneries in the diocese, explaining the vision of the Chronicle.] In fact, you should get out to the parishes as well. Speak to the congregations.”

The diocese stretched from the Indiana state line to Vermilion and the Michigan state line to south of Lima and Mansfield, covering 8,222 square miles. I didn’t hit every one of the parishes, but found myself visiting many of the 150 parishes and/or their parish councils, “preaching” the benefits of a strong diocesan newspaper. I did a similar outreach when I was editor of the Catholic Standard in the Archdiocese of Washington, DC.

Dan was also a supporter of my continuing education. He would tell me, it will make your faith deeper and richer.

But I actually never stepped into the pulpit until pressed into service as an elder at Tyre Reformed Church in New York and now as an elder at West Fayette Presbyterian Church — all based on Dan’s premise, If you show the congregation HOW Scripture relates to them, they become interested in it.

I don’t know how successful I’ve been, but I do know my writing has always been down to earth. As I say in my blog intro, I’m just an ordinary guy walking along this journey called life. Father Says is a play on two facets of my complex life. My comments are always filtered through the lens of Judeo-Christian values and largely based on 40 years of marriage raising five children. My previous columns and editorials had that same flavor.

You may not find yourself on the single side of the pulpit, but you, too, can share our wonderful faith story. Don’t preach. Relate. Don’t pretend to have all the answers. Invite others to search for themselves. Nurture them one-on-one and in small groups. Show your faith.

So, if you happen to be in the Finger Lakes area of New York Sept. 20, Dec. 27 or Jan. 3 and 10, I welcome you to join us at 9 a.m. at West Fayette Presbyterian Church, on Route 336 just east of Route 96A and a few miles south of Geneva and north of Sampson State Park. I invite you not to listen to the guy in the pulpit, but to enjoy the fellowship of the little church with the big heart.

THOUGHT TO REMEMBER: If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn’t be in it.

Posted in encouragement, Memories, relationships, sermon, West Fayette Presbyterian | Tagged communication, conversation, DPchallenge, encouragement, Faith, faith, Memories, preaching, relationships, sermon, West Fayette Presbyterian | Leave a comment