Five Minute Friday — Blue

Posted on May 29, 2015 by wisdomfromafather

It’s Five Minute Friday time. A couple of hundred of us get together at Kate’s place (http://katemotaung.com/2015/05/28/five-minute-friday-blue-plus-a-special-video-message-from-the-fmf-retreat-planning-committee/)and write for five minutes on a specific prompt. It’s an exercise that keeps us sharp and broadens of network. And — for the most part — it’s fun!

So, we’ll clean the slate and get ready to pen some words on this week’s prompt — BLUE. The timer is set, so let’s GO…

Ironically, the thought came to me before the prompt was posted. Last night, following a meeting that ended about dusk, I looked up at the darkening blue sky. It was still light enough to see the blue hues, but dark enough to see the moon and a few twinkling bright stars. An hour later, the blue would turn to black dotted with seemingly thousands of twinkling lights.

This morning in the gazebo, I couldn’t help but notice the blue sky. To my right, the bright blue was unobstructed except for a disintegrating contrail. To the left, the sky was more of a powder blue, muted through thin high white clouds.

And of course, there is the ocean. From a distance it looks like an expanse of blue stretching to the horizon. As … STOP

… the waves roll closer to shore, however, the breakers generally turn a bluish green with majestic whitecaps.

That’s how it is with colors — a kaleidoscope of hues. That’s how it is with our lives. From a distance things may look tranquil, but as our lives unfold, we “see” what is churning beneath as our waves break.

The key is to look at the whole spectrum.

Well, that’s what this pea brain come up with this week.

THOUGHT TO REMEMBER: Don’t compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

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Sittin’ in the Gazebo

Posted on May 27, 2015 by wisdomfromafather

I was sitting in the gazebo this morning nursing my coffee and listening to the birds chirping, squirrels racing around (doing whatever squirrels do) and the occasional buzz of a bee. I surveyed the terrain. Thanks to a lot of effort by my son and grandchildren, evergreen tree No. 7 has been planted, the roses have been cut back, re-planted or newly planted, one for each of the grandchildren and great-grandchildren. A quiet breeze cooled what was a humid May morning.

Life is good. With the exception of watching the ocean waves roll in and out, sitting here in the gazebo is the best “quiet time” around.

Of course, if I’m in the gazebo, that must mean Karen is in the gazebo. I mean, you just can’t just sit there alone.

2015-05-27 07.52.08I moved Karen from her perch on the mantel over the weekend … after the bulk of the yardwork had been done.

I was tempted to move her out a couple of weeks ago after the time change and when fickle Miss Spring made a brief appearance before heading back to warmer climes. But I knew the brambles and winter clutter would have driven her crazy … and who wants to be haunted during “quiet time.”

In a real sense, Karen is there — not just ash, but in spirit — be it in the gazebo during the spring-summer of on the faux fireplace mantle in the fall-winter.

For those of you who don’t know the history, Karen and I {mostly Karen} dealt with most end of life issues while she was still with us. She picked out our urns — matching bronze side by side repositories connected by interlocking circles — and we made pre-planning funeral arrangements. What we didn’t do was decide on a final resting place. Karen wanted me to pick a spot so the kids could ultimately visit if they so desired. I wasn’t willing to do anything so … permanent.

So, after she died, I made a special place for her on the mantel of our electric fireplace. And I purchased a gazebo {after a disaster trying to build one myself}, and each spring since, I move her outside. Each fall, she would return inside for the winter and so on.

Each morning, I go either outside or into the living room to read and reflect {I’m working on Daniel and the apocryphal writers} and have my coffee and breakfast with Red. I still continue to share a cartoon. And I have laughed with her, cried with her and talked to her. She may not be with me in the flesh, but I sense her spirit — and her counsel — even after six-plus years.

Then

Then

The first Christmas after Karen died, I opted to take the grandkids on an adventure to the Radio Music Hall Traveling Christmas Spectacular in Cleveland, OH. I didn’t have time or was in the mood for a Christmas tree, so I decided to purchase a living tree. I went to a Christmas Eve service, came home, decorated the modest four foot tree, enjoyed it for Christmas and spent Christmas night taking the decorations off so the tree could be moved outside while I headed for Ohio.

Each Christmas since, I have purchased an evergreen — although after the first few years, I’ve just planted them around the gazebo. Each has an ornament indicating it’s year of planting.

Now

Now

My, how those trees have grown! And I’ve run out of room around the gazebo. I’m not sure what I’m going to do this year.

The other backyard tradition is a rose bush for each of our grandchildren and great-grandchildren. That’s 18 rose bushes for the grandchildren and two for the great-grandchildren. As I surveyed the bushes earlier this spring, I thought I needed five replacements and two for the great-grandchildren. But as we started to dig up the old, barren bushes, we discovered just a hint of new life on two of them, so I ended up with two extra rose bushes {no, that’s not a hint!}. We found a spot for them on the side of the house “for decoration”.

This is still her “home” so I’m comfortable with the decision I’ve made. If the kids or grandkids want to spend some time with her, she’s here. And when I’m gone, my ashes will rest next to her and I’ll leave the decision of where we permanently settle up to the kids.

THOUGHT TO REMEMBER: It’s OK to let your children see you cry.

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I Feel Safe

Posted on May 21, 2015 by wisdomfromafather

I don’t watch a lot of television or movies. In fact, most of the time — unless it’s football — it’s on for background. The grandkids, on the other hand, like the action shows, including the NCIS series, Hawaii Five-O, Criminal Minds. And, of course, action shoot-em-up movies.

So, occasionally — okay, more often than not — my eyes wander to the screen. And I’ve come to a conclusion. I feel very safe.

I mean, the bad guys can’t seem to hit the broad side of a barn with their sophisticated weaponry while our FBI and other good guy agents systematically pick off all the ne’er-do-wells with dead accurate kill shots to the heart or forehead with their standard issue glocks. The terrorists can’t seem to lock onto a target, always trailing the twisting, turning, tumbling defenders of good with their hail of bullets.

Now, it has almost always been so. I mean, let’s look at Jack Bauer. He went through more gunfights and explosions in one day than most of us will ever experience in our entire lifetime. And at the end of the day he generally was a fresh as a daisy. Or the Lethal Weapon series . Or the Bourne series. Or the Jack Ryan saga. Or Die Hard and sequels. Or Mission Impossible 1, 2, 3, 4, 5.

I know. It’s entertainment. It’s escapism. It’s art imitating life … sort of.

All I know, if the bad guys are that inept … I feel pretty safe!

THOUGHT TO REMEMBER: Make peace with your past so it won’t screw up the present.

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The Lord’s Prayer

Posted on May 17, 2015 by wisdomfromafather

As I stated, I was in the pulpit today while our pastor takes some R&R. So I thought I would share this week’s words.

My prayer request is the same as the psalmist, May these words of my mouth and this meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, LORD, my Rock and my Redeemer (Psalm 19:4).

As a faith community, we are active in lifting each other up through prayer. Look at our prayer chains. Notice how quickly we respond to the needs not only of members of our congregation, but co-workers, friends and neighbors regardless of their “denomination” or lack thereof. We care.

What if Jesus joined our prayer chain? What if He prayed with us and for us?

We don’t always think along those lines, but today, it’s right there in black and white. I’ll read it again. I pray for them. I am not praying for the world, but for those You have given Me, for they are Yours.

Did you get that? Jesus prayed for you. Jesus prayed for me. And I can say that confidently because even though we are removed by 2,000 years in time and space, we are His disciples today. And I bet you thought Jesus’ prayer was just for the apostles.

Well, it was … but it continues through discipleship right through today.

To put today’s gospel passage in context, Jesus was with His disciples following the Last Supper. After the meal, He was trying to prepare them for the trials and tribulations of next few days. And here, in John’s account from Chapter 17, He is praying just before heading out across the Kidron valley to the garden of His betrayal.

Knowing His death was imminent, you and I were on His mind. How’s that for love?

With the world shouting He was a failure, and death knocking on His door, He intercedes before God for you and me. How’s that for compassion?

His thoughts during His final moments on earth are not on Himself, but on others. Before Jesus faced the cross, He prayed for His disciples, then and now.

Theologians and commentators call this passage the real Lord’s Prayer … a contrast to what we commonly pray as the Lord’s Prayer, which could more appropriately be called the Disciple’s Prayer.

Breaking it down further, the structure of the prayer is in three parts. First, Jesus looks upward as He magnifies the Father, knowing His work on earth is finished (vv. 1-5); then Jesus looks outward as He prays for the well-being and care of His disciples, knowing He is sending them into enemy territory (vv. 6-19); then Jesus looks forward as He prays for the unity and holiness of the future church, knowing the world will base their belief of the Father on the actions of believers (vv. 20-23). He prayed for His disciples and for all those who would come to faith in Jesus Christ, ultimately becoming His followers. That means you and me.

It’s a fairly easy script for us to follow … look upward, look outward and look forward.

With Jesus’ prayer as a model, our prayers should glorify the Father and reflect the will of God, not our will. Jesus wanted people to understand and recognize the importance of God in their lives. He had a much higher purpose in mind than merely taking care of our needs and wants. Through His praying Jesus shows prayer’s highest aim is not to get our will done in heaven, but to get God’s will done on earth.

The end result of our lives is to have the nature of God so much a part of our being that people see Jesus — a glorification of the Father — in us. Jesus has given us a mission to go into the world. All too often the great commission becomes the great omission.

Our mission is not inside the walls of the church, but outside. R.C. Sproul compares the mission to the marketplace. “The cradle of the church was the marketplace. From the preaching and public ministry of Jesus to the daily acts of the apostles, the central scene was the marketplace… The marketplace is where we belong. It is where needy people are found. It is not enough for the church to hang a welcome sign on her door. We dare not wait for the world to come to us.”

When we rub shoulders every day with people who need the power and grace of the gospel of Jesus Christ we are the living and breathing answer to the prayer of Jesus.

In His last prayer Jesus also prayed you and I would be one. He prayed we would love each other, as we go forward to love the world for Him. And when Jesus prays for something four times (vv. 11, 21, 22, 23) He is making a major plea. Jesus does not take unity lightly. It is a major concern for Him. It should be for us as well.

Pray with integrity for unity. If we pray for unity and are at odds with another believer, we are hypocritical. Pray within the family, both our physical and spiritual families, for unity. Before we pray for the church family to be unified we need to pray for unity in our family.  Pray in practice for unity. Pray together with others. Praying together recognizes our deep need for one another.

Twice Jesus says the reason we are to unite as believers is to be a witness to a watching world. The reputation of God is at stake. When Christians stand together in unity, they bear living proof of the truth of the gospel. A unified church will convince people there is a God in heaven. Unity creates belief.

But if unity creates belief, then disunity fosters disbelief. How can the world come to believe the gospel if those who already believe it are battling among themselves? When the world sees denominational leaders fighting over control, or young and old members of the same congregation dueling over worship styles, or a church splitting over the color of the new carpet, it says, “Thanks, but no thanks.” When Christians splinter over frivolous and non-essential issues, observers have reason to doubt the very validity of the gospel.

Is it fair to say one of the hindrances of people being drawn into churches today is the way we treat one another? Is it fair to say one of the hindrances of people being drawn into churches today is our denominational dysfunction? Did you know there are an estimated 43,000 Christian denominations worldwide, up from a mere 500 in 1800?

That means, non-believers have 43,000 reasons to remain non-believers. You see, unity is the evidence to the world our faith is real. When unity is present, we answer Jesus’ prayer.  We must speak of the essentials and not get bogged down in the superfluous. Presbyterians, Methodists, Reformed, Lutherans, Catholics, Baptists. We may not agree on the hows … but we all agree on the whats. May we focus on those “whats” essentials so our unity can be evident to all.

To an unbelieving, but watching world came love. Love may be the most powerful apologetic in the Christian’s arsenal. But people need demonstrations of love and not just communications about a loving God if God is to be known. When true love is demonstrated, people are changed. Love, hand in hand with truth, is the strongest persuasion any believer can give to a watching world. When hungering souls see radical, unexpected love in Christians they are drawn irresistibly to the Christian faith. Love is the most powerful message we can preach so people can know God.

Yes, Jesus had you and me on His mind. He was praying for us. He knew His disciples and their disciples — from Matthias to us; yes, we are their disciples — are in a war. They and we would face opposition as we entered hostile territory. Jesus knew they and we need His life, His words, His protection, His care, His joy, His word, His glory, His love. As a people they and we need to be unified and sanctified for the world to know Jesus.

Unfortunately, we live in world where people do not know, recognize or understand God. They will call the providences of God coincidences; the miracles of God medical marvels; the work of God scientific achievement. In fact, the only things the world attributes to God are cataclysmic events like hurricanes, tornadoes, typhoons and tsunamis. These are called “acts of God.”

Our adversary is, plain and simple, Satan. In many respects, it is not the world we are to be protected from as much as the executive director of the world system — Satan. Satan is the one operating behind the scenes, pulling the strings of this worldly system; he is the real threat to us. Through enticements and temptations he will use every device to prey upon our human nature and pry our hearts away from God. Or as Peter notes, he is prowling around like a roaring lion, looking for anyone he can devour (1 Peter 5:8).

We are called to resist him, but it isn’t enough to just resist temptation, we must resist the temptor. To resist him, we must understand our role in the battle. John White reminds us, “His (Satan’s) supreme object is to hurt Christ. You personally are of no interest to him. It is only as you relate to Christ that you assume significance in his eyes … Now that you are a Christian his interest in you has nothing to do with you as an individual so much as with your potential for Christ’s cause. Do not flatter yourself. To God you are very important. But to Satan you are nothing more than a potentially useful microbe.”

We see it all the time. As our walk with God solidifies, often things seem to go “wrong.” Our faith is attacked and challenged.

Jesus knew the battle would be tough. He fought continually with Satan. The stakes are high, and, therefore, protection is needed. Jesus’ promise is as certain today as it was in apostolic times. We will be protected (v. 12). In fact, He makes the bold declaration none of them is lost. Aren’t those comforting words? None of them is lost.

Do you realize you can experience God’s grace without experiencing God’s presence? You can have an understanding Jesus died for your sins, and not ever have an intimate relationship with Him? You can know facts and figures, dates and times, and still not really know the One who loved you first. What a shame to be saved and not really enter into the joy of knowing Christ. Sadly, people do it all the time. Our churches are full of people who know who God is but don’t really know Him and have never experienced His presence.

Like a parent, He wraps his enveloping arms around us, especially if the night is the darkest and we are the most scared. He not only goes before us; He goes with us.
When the ambulance comes, He is with us.
When we are wheeled into the ICU, He is with us.
When we are left to face the empty house, He is with us.
When the boss hands us the pink slip, He is with us.
When the check won’t last the month, He is with us.

You see, when we pray we don’t have to convince God to show up. He is already present. We just need to recognize His indwelling presence and then wait for His revealed presence. Isn’t that what we truly desire in prayer — to be in the presence of the One who loves us unconditionally?

May I suggest you pray with the following thoughts in mind:
Knowing life is short, pray for the best use of your life on earth.
Knowing death is certain, pray for urgency in making every day count.
Knowing heaven is real, pray for understanding of its wonder.
Knowing Jesus will return, pray you are ready to meet Him.
Knowing change is needed, pray most of the change will occur here on earth not in heaven.
Knowing people are lost, pray for people you love and want to be with you in heaven.
Knowing time is running out, pray for motivation to reach those not yet saved.
Knowing heaven is for all believers, pray for reconciliation within the fractured body of Christ.

I’ll leave you with a story from the mission field. A small group of missionaries were being threatened by a jungle tribe one night. They prayed and asked for prayer from their mission church, fearful of their imminent demise. A prayer chain quickly followed.

Inexplicably, their would-be attackers abruptly left.

Months later after working with this tribe, some became believers. One of the missionaries asked a tribesman about that night when the tribe threatened them. The tribesman said, “We were planning to attack, but when we saw the garrison of armed soldiers surrounding your campsite we withdrew.”

The missionary knew there was no army surrounding them … except for the presence of God and His host of warring angels.

When we pray we pray both for God’s presence and we pray for His power. And Jesus is right there praying with us.

Amen.

Posted in ecumenism, encouragement, family, God, relationships, sermon, Uncategorized, West Fayette Presbyterian | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

What Mary saw …

Posted on May 10, 2015 by wisdomfromafather

As I stated, I was in the pulpit Sunday and next week while our pastor takes some R&R. So I thought I would share this week’s words.

My prayer request is the same as the psalmist, May these words of my mouth and this meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, LORD, my Rock and my Redeemer (Psalm 19:4).

Pray the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart were  indeed pleasing in His sight today and will be next Sunday. It was especially challenging this week as I tried to meld a Mother’s Day message with this week’s non-Mother’s Day passages.

If you happen to be in the Finger Lakes area of New York, I welcome you to join us at 9 a.m. at West Fayette Presbyterian Church on Route 336 just east of Route 96A and a few miles south of Geneva and north of Sampson State Park. I invite you not to listen to the guy in the pulpit, but to enjoy the fellowship of the little church with the big heart.

Here is this week’s words …

Happy Mother’s Day!

First, a little story.

Baby Bear goes downstairs and sits in his small chair at the table. He looks into his small bowl. It is empty. “Who’s been eating my porridge?” he squeaks.

Papa Bear arrives at the big table and sits in his big chair. He looks into his big bowl and it is also empty. “Who’s been eating my porridge?” he roars.

Momma Bear puts her head through the serving hatch from the kitchen and yells, “For Pete’s sake, how many times do we have to go through this? It was Momma Bear who got up first. It was Momma Bear who woke everyone in the house. It was Momma Bear who made the coffee. It was Momma Bear who unloaded the dishwasher from last night and put everything away. It was Momma Bear who went out in the cold early morning air to fetch the newspaper. It was Momma Bear who set the table. It was Momma Bear who put the cat out, cleaned the litter box and filled the cat’s water and food dish. And now you’ve decided to drag your sorry bear-butts downstairs, and grace Momma Bear’s kitchen with your grumpy presence?

“Listen good, ’cause I’m only going to say this one more time … ‘I HAVEN’T MADE THE PORRIDGE YET!’”

Happy Mother’s Day!

Okay, now that’s out of the way, let’s focus on why we’re here, looking into the words from Scripture. Admittedly, our readings don’t really have a lot to do about mothers, but I’ll try to tie them together with “What Mary saw …”

One of the tragedies of the Reformation, in my humble opinion, is the diminution of Mary. The Protestant culture has reduced her to a bit player. I can understand why. Early Christian and Catholic tradition placed — and often places — a more relevant role for the mother of Jesus, almost to the point where they venerate her as a co-mediatrix in the salvific  redemption of Jesus.

I never saw her that way, but rather a woman of immense faith. And I always saw Jesus as having a special bond with this woman called Mother.

There isn’t much scripturally about Mary. Luke tells us the most about her, and even that is fragmented. The angel went to her and said, “Greetings, you who are highly favored! The Lord is with you” (1:28). “I am the Lord’s servant,” Mary answered. “May your word to me be fulfilled” (1:38).

And they [the shepherds] even in the middle of your winter, there are, somewhere in your life, a few flowers peeking through the snow. They’re harbingers of hope. Ask God for eyes to see some of the little hints of the good things He’s planning for you.  (2:16-19).

And the Simeon story (2:25-35) which concludes with the admonition to Mary, Yea, a sword shall pierce through thy own soul also.

And I can imagine the worry in Joseph and Mary when they “lost” Jesus at the temple when He was 12 (42-51) — just think back when your young one decided to play hide and seek in the racks at Walmart. His mother kept all these sayings in her heart.

The next two references come from John. Remember the story at Cana? (2:2-11)

I have this twisted picture in my mind of Mary telling Jesus to do something to help the bridal couple in her stereotyped Yiddish voice. And I can see her telling the stewards to listen to her Son, “… because He’s someone special.”

Despite protestation this was not the right time, Jesus indeed did start His public ministry at that wedding by turning ordinary water into exquisite wine. A mother’s plea.

We could feel her pain as she stood by the cross watching her Son die (19:25-27). A mother’s pain.

That’s it.

Mother’s Day didn’t exist back then, but had it, I can see Jesus in His woodshop knocking out these little trinkets for His Mom. I can see Him picking poseys along the trails of Israel for a bouquet for Mom. I can see Jesus making breakfast in bed for His Mom … porridge without the bacon or sausage. In His later years, Jesus would probably have sent a card by donkey express.

There was a relationship … a bond that doesn’t need scriptural endorsement. Jesus cared. His last act was to make sure she would be taken care of.

It’s interesting to note, there is no direct scriptural evidence Jesus ever appeared to Mary, His mother, after the Resurrection. There is tradition that says Jesus did indeed appear to Mary His mother first, dating back to fourth century Ambrose.  The tradition of a prior apparition has continued from the fifth century poet Sedulius. The tradition is hardly apostolic, and does not seem to have been held with any great clarity or zeal until the early medieval period. However, from the medieval period forward, saints and theologians are nearly unanimous in affirming a prior apparition to our Lady. Dom Prosper Gueranger cites numerous liturgical prayers and hymns (especially of the East) which affirm the tradition. An impressive number of saints hold the tradition including Anselm, Albert the Great, Ignatius Loyola, Teresa of Avila and John Paul II. There is a nearly unanimous consensus among that faithful Christ our Lord appeared first to His Mother and then to Mary Magdalene.

Of course, the Gospels do not relate the apparition made by Jesus to His Mother, while visits with the others are fully described. Could that be because of the intent of the New Testament?

The apparitions were intended as proof of the Resurrection. Mary His Mother had no need of such a visit. The Mother of God had a firm and unshakable faith in the Resurrection, and this faith did not waver on that first Holy Saturday. Mary already knew and believed her Son would rise, she had no need to see. Or, as John would say in 20:29, Blessed are they that have not seen, and have believed.

This would explain why the Mother was not present at the tomb. She already knew He had risen. She did not know by sight, but by her unshakable faith. Of course Mary would not accompany the other women, she knew already the body would no longer be there!

That’s what Mary saw in her Son … the fulfillment of salvation as told in our readings today.

In our first reading, Peter recognized this divine love was not just for the Jews of the time, but for all. The takeaway is God was and is at work through the Spirit to tear down ethnic and social barriers so His very Word could and can be heard. This Word transforms our character — just like the apostles — to lead us to share that message of divine love, even with those outside our comfort zone.

Our second reading re-affirms those words, noting those who believe Jesus is the Son of God overcomes the world with Him. All, except believers in Christ, are enslaved in some respect to the customs, opinions or interests of the world. Faith breaks that enslavement. It is the cause of victory, the means, the instrument, the spiritual armor by which we overcome. The real Christian overcomes the world by faith and grace. He sees, in and by the life and conduct of the Lord Jesus on earth, how this world is to be renounced and overcome by looking beyond it with eye toward heaven. We must all, after Christ’s example, overcome the world, or it will overcome us to our ruin.

And our Gospel points out the simplest command, Love one another.

Though reference to love has been completely absent in verses 1-8, the repeated reference to it now (five times as verb or noun in verse 9 alone; 11 times in the lesson as a whole) clearly gives love the center stage.

Love is to be seen above all in the love of the Father as shown in the love of the Son. Our thoughts are intentionally directed back to the announcement of the depth of God’s love for the world as evidenced in the giving of the Son. God so loved… (3:16).

One of those important words in the first section (9-12) is a simple Greek word kathos variously translated as “so,” “as” or “just as”. In the original this word essentially frames the whole section. Just as the Father has loved Me … (9) … just as I have loved you (12). “Just as” — kathos — is a key motif in John’s theology (31 times in the gospel) for what it reveals about the mutual relationship of Father, Son and disciple community. As the Father has loved, so the Son loves. The Son’s love imitates and mirrors the Father’s love. As the Son loved, so the disciple community loves. To “abide in the Son’s love” is to know oneself as abiding in that same love which originates in the relationship of Father and Son.

Jesus’ words make it clear the power to respond to His command to love one another comes from Jesus’ own prior love and calling: I have called you … I have chosen you … I have appointed you …

Jesus came so we might experience an overflowing life (John 10:10).

That’s what Mary the Mother saw. She tells us on this  Mother’s Day, “Listen to my Son … because He’s someone special.”

And let the faithful say, Amen.

THOUGHT TO REMEMBER: When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.

Posted in family, God, Mom, relationships, sermon, West Fayette Presbyterian | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Five Minute Friday — Meet … Greet, Thanks and Praise

Posted on May 9, 2015 by wisdomfromafather

I’m going to deviate a little from this week’s Five Minute Friday (a day late) to expand the prompt from MEET to MEET, GREET, THANKS and PRAISE. Accordingly, it will be more than five minutes (but, hopefully, not  much more).

Be sure to visit Kate’s place ( http://katemotaung.com/2015/05/07/five-minute-friday-meet-plus-more-retreat-news-a-video/)for words of wisdom on the prompt MEET.

So, here goes …

My immediate thought when I read this week’s prompt was how appropriate. It is here where we meet and come together as sisters and brothers in faith to share our individual thoughts collectively. And it is a great venue to meet talented writers of all genres. I am proud to call many of you my FMF friends and followers. It is much, more than just weekly writing. I am honored and privileged to be part of this group.

My mind expanded to the “greet” part. I will be in the pulpit again this week and next week while our pastor takes some R&R.

My prayer request is the same as the psalmist, May these words of my mouth and this meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, LORD, my Rock and my Redeemer (Psalm 19:4).

Pray the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart are indeed pleasing in His sight over these next two Sundays. It will be especially challenging this week as I try to meld a Mother’s Day message with this week’s non-Mother’s Day passages.

If you happen to be in the Finger Lakes area of New York, I welcome you to join us at 9 a.m. at West Fayette Presbyterian Church on Route 336 just east of Route 96A and a few miles south of Geneva and north of Sampson State Park. I invite you not to listen to the guy in the pulpit, but to enjoy the fellowship of the little church with the big heart.

Next comes the thanks. The April 30 blog, The Meltdown (https://wisdomfromafather.com/2015/04/30/the-meltdown/), drew considerable response. In addition to the comments, many of my friends and family reached out to me in phone calls and private messages with so much needed love, support and encouragement. Thank you all!

Ironically, I didn’t write that particular blog for support, but rather as a recognition meltdowns — spiritual and physical — are not only real, but necessary. In my particular case, it was a “time out”. Sometimes you have to break down to slow down {the Lord certainly has a quirky sense of humor} and spend time re-focusing on what is important. Hint: It’s not what is going on around you … it’s the divine presence in you.

I am fine. I believe I am grounded enough to let go and let God.

I did learn, however, especially with grief issues, you never can let your guard down. While I often look back it’s more often with fond memories. And I do look forward to a new life … one based on the promises of God.

Which brings us to praise. Praise God He is there through the ups and downs … walking with me when things are going well and lifting me up when things go wrong. From experience, I can tell you there are more of one set of footprints in the sand than two. God so loved Joe He sent His Son to make sure I will not perish but have eternal life.

I can say this with confidence because I returned from a horrific day the Jersey shore. My truck broke down in Seaside Heights (301 miles from home) and every little thing seemed to go wrong from that moment on. But as I sat on the boardwalk watching the waves roll in, there was this sense of peace. Things break. Things go wrong. Plans don’t always go as expected. But through it all, Jesus sat with me … Jesus calmed me … Jesus helped me keep things in perspective. All in the mist of the ocean breeze and rhythmic surf … and sausage and pepper sandwich.

A special thanks goes to my son for bailing me out by coming to rescue me — and, darn, I have to go back next weekend to pick up my truck.

THOUGHT TO REMEMBER: Save for retirement starting with your first pay check.

Posted in encouragement, family, Five Minute Friday, God, grace, relationships, sermon, things that matter, West Fayette Presbyterian | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

Five Minute Friday — Door

Posted on May 1, 2015 by wisdomfromafather

It’s Friday and it’s time to get back in the swing of Five Minute Friday. It’s a discipline I needed to get away from for awhile. But it’s time to get back.

So, here we are. Five minutes of focused writing on the prompt supplied by Kate Motaung. And be sure to visit Kate’s place (http://katemotaung.com/2015/04/30/five-minute-friday-door/)to see what the other talented writers have shared.

The prompt for the week is DOOR. The timer is set, so let’s GO …

When I was going through grief counseling we had an holistic exercise. The leader asked us to close our eyes and go “inside” ourselves. As she guided us in the process, she noted we would come to a door … the door to our heart.

To be honest, I thought it was pretty hokey, but I went along and found the door. What I found was … nothing. It was dark and numb. It was pretty much how I was feeling at the time.

Given my disposition of late, I decided to “revisit” my heart the other night. In silence with my eyes closed and soft New Age music in the background, I started my inward journey to the door. This time when I opened it, it was still dark, but with flashes of light streaming through holes in the walls. I could feel the asymmetrical beat … STOP

… I don’t know what to make of the transcendental journey. I don’t know if it means I’m still grieving or whether I’m somewhat on the mend. I suspect it’s probably a little of both.

That’s my take on this week’s prompt. Again, visit Kate’s place for other insights.

THOUGHT TO REMEMBER: Cry with someone. It’s more healing than crying alone.

Posted in Five Minute Friday, grief | Tagged , , , , | 3 Comments

The Meltdown

Posted on April 30, 2015 by wisdomfromafather

I haven’t been around for awhile. Truth is, I didn’t want to be here. This father just had no more wisdom in his tank.

I didn’t want to be here in upstate New York either. Truth is, I didn’t want to be anywhere. I was content going through the motions.

And, I haven’t been feeling well. Springtime allergies hit full force, limiting my sleep and drive.

And it all came to a head a few weeks ago on the last leg of a 1,600 mile, two country, three day house hunting trip in Maine … admittedly a long haul, even by my traveling standards.

There I was on the New York Thruway, one moment listening to a medley of Four Seasons songs and the next sobbing uncontrollably on the shoulder of the road, my mind racing in a thousand free range directions.

I had to pull over because, literally, I couldn’t see the road through my tears. I’m not sure how I even maneuvered to the shoulder through the maze of cars, trucks and semis. But there I was, having a mental meltdown as intense as the days following my wife’s death seven years ago.

Without saying a word, I mentally challenged everything in my life. I was angry. I was sad. I was melancholic. I questioned my past. I questioned my present. I questioned my future. I questioned the meaning of my life. I even questioned my faith. And I had this overwhelming sense I was alone … totally A-L-O-N-E.

I haven’t shared this with anyone except anecdotally with a close friend who knew something was amiss. Normally a glass half full guy, I just didn’t even care if there was a glass. She just intuitively knew … and wasn’t afraid to gently chide me somewhat back to reality.

She started by stating the obvious. I was exhausted and the incident was a natural consequence. But she added I hadn’t “let go” of Karen yet … not forgotten, but moved on. She said I always talk of or refer to Karen in everyday conversations. Even my trips to Maine are because that’s where she wanted to retire. “What about you? What do you want?”

It was sobering. I hadn’t realized how much Karen’s memories had become a staple of my life.

And that, probably, is part of the problem. I do want to move on but the hole in my heart isn’t getting any smaller. I mean, Karen and I had 40 years together — that’s 60% of my life … 60% of my memories … 60% of my experiences. My life is our life. My memories are our memories. My experiences are our experiences.

As I get older, I find myself being drawn back to my roots. I know I can’t go back to the 60s, but those days were so carefree. I mean, literally, life was good. I didn’t have to worry about my health, my wealth, my well being. As long as I had a couple bucks I could go where I wanted, almost whenever I wanted, grab a burger and fries and still have some jangle in my pocket. I was learning about life and love with anticipation. Now I’m watching it all in my rear view mirror. Today’s world is not the same as it was 50 years ago. Today I do have to worry about my health, my wealth and my well being.

What do I want?

I have no idea. Yes, part of the attraction of Maine is because of Karen. But I have come to love the state for its simplicity. I can see myself in retirement {okay, how many people really retire to Maine?} sitting on the porch overlooking a lake, river, stream, pond or ocean — reading or writing and just soaking in the ambience. I can see myself sitting in my easy chair watching a roaring fire — reading or writing and enjoying the atmosphere.

But I could see the same scenario in Wisconsin, upper Michigan, Minnesota {why am I attracted to the cold?}, the Jersey shore or the mountains of Virginia or West Virginia.

The only thing missing is someone to share it with. I would love to have another relationship, but I don’t know if I could. I don’t think I could go through another person’s sickness or pain. I feel too helpless. And I do know I wouldn’t want anyone to go through any of my sicknesses or pain.

Those are the muddled thoughts that filled my mind a few weeks ago, reducing me to a teary pile of poo. Those are the muddled thoughts I still wrestle with.

THOUGHT TO REMEMBER: You don’t have to win every argument. Stay true to yourself.

Posted in confession, growing old, growing up, Memories, thinking | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 9 Comments

American Idol

Posted on April 8, 2015 by wisdomfromafather

I admit it. I watch American Idol and I vote each week. The bigger question is why.

You have to know my history with American Idol to understand. It goes back to Season One … and it really doesn’t involve me.

Yes, my dearly departed wife became a devotee of the show from day one, which, by extension, meant I was likewise hooked.

The format was similar in that the contestants performed and the next night were eliminated. Performance night, however, was my production night, so Karen would Tivo the show so I could “watch” it the next night before the elimination. With the marvels of Tivo, she could skip to the actual performances. “You have to watch. She was great!” Or, she could skip the pretenders, “He was terrible.” And if I would somehow rest my eyes during one of those stellar performances, she would dutifully get my attention and replay them. “Wasn’t that a great performance?”

And she had her favorites. She was solidly behind Kelly Clarkson in Season One … thought Ruben Studdard was tops in Season Two … was stunned when Jennifer Hudson was eliminated early in Season Three and never latched on to Fantasia Barrino, the season’s winner … absolutely fell in love with Carrie Underwood {that’s a fact, I watched her performances over and over again with rapt attention} in Season Four … thought Chris Daughtry Katharine McPhee, Mandisa or Kellie Pickler should have won Season Five (won by Taylor Hicks) … was obsessed with how Sanjaya Malakar could even make the top 10 in Season Six and thought Phil Stacey should have made the finals with eventual winner Jordin Sparks … and  half-heartedly favored David Archuleta as she battled cancer in Season Seven.

So, after she died, I continued the tradition of Tivoing American Idol. I was drawn to Danny Gokey — partly because of his widower status but also because of my lack of interest in the styles of Season Eight runner-up Adam Lambert or winner Kris Allen … favored runner-up Crystal Bowersox over winner Lee DeWyze in Season Nine … thought Pia Toscano should have won Season 10, although I was okay with Scotty McCreery as the ultimate winner … felt Angie Miller left too soon in Season 11, won by Candice Glover … and walked through the competition in Season 12 where Caleb Johnson was announced the winner and Jena Irene as runner-up.

I am sad to say Season 13 is shaping up as watching out of habit and not for enjoyment as well. I just don’t see any breakout talent. My personal favorite — and I use the term loosely — is Nick Fradiani. My only excitement this season thus far has been the elimination of 15 year old (he turned 16 last Thursday, April 2) Daniel Seavey last week. I don’t know how he lasted this long (actually, I have a theory I’ll explore later), nor can I explain the fascination with quirky Joey Cook and raspy “Jax” Cole. Qaasim Middleton is entertaining, but lacks a real voice, in my opinion, while Quentin Alexander has a haunting quality about him that could advance him. Quite frankly, I don’t recognize most of the songs the contestants sing … either because I never heard them before or the contestants’ interpretations are so far from the original, it becomes almost unrecognizable.

American Idol has been on the decline … and there some real reasons. I think it outgrew itself. Early competitions were just that … competitions. In the later years it has become more choreographed and staged.

Part of it is judging. Randy Jackson, Paula Abdul and Simon Cowell critiqued the Idol wannabes for eight seasons — with Cowell’s acerbic comments a highlight of the show. Since then, the judges have included Ellen DeGeneres (more of a fan than a judge), Stephen Tyler (who was more interested in shock value language), Mariah Carey (who turned out to be more of a diva than a judge) and Nicki Minaj (who was hard to watch, but at least knew what she was talking about). I think some of the consistency has returned to the panel over the past two seasons, Keith Urban, Jennifer Lopez and Harry Connick Jr. I think Urban was signed because the show was taking a country turn — although he has shown a breadth of musical knowledge. Lopez is, well, Jennifer Lopez, a pretty face and an exceptional judge of heart. Connick sometimes takes on the Cowell role, although half the time I have no idea what he is talking about.

On the subject of judges — and I’ll touch on it a little later — give them a chance to critique. Ten second sound bites are not adequate. Give the viewer some of the insights the judges have. I sometimes wonder if I’ve seen the same performance they did.

The turning point of the show in my mind, however, came in Season 10 when the age limit was dropped to 15. Although McCreery has done well — graduating high school and attending college — it seems the drop in age has not made the show better. Let’s face it, a 15 or 16 year old high school student does not have the life experience needed to interpret lyrics. Jessica Sanchez, runner-up in Season 11, came across as a spoiled high school diva. This year, Tyanna Jones and Seavey have to juggle high school work into the rigors of competition. Seavey, in particular, looked good and performed well, but he looked like a little robot going through the motions. At the end, his voice gave up, which was probably a blessing. As he matures, I am sure that baby-face voice will morph into an entirely different sound. There were three others 16-17 year olds who made the top 24, but not the Top 16. And, as the camera scans the audience, you’ll notice the guests are getting younger and younger as well.

I suggest contestants must be 18 and/or out of high school. If they want to put their life or college plans on hold, that’s okay, but let’s not push high school students into the spotlight too soon. Give them a chance to grow up.

My final suggestion is programming. The biggest waste of time is the auditions. I couldn’t really tell you who auditioned where or how they performed. Those first couple of weeks are chaotic, interspersed with bleeps by the losers and jumps of joy for those with the golden ticket … never to be heard from again.

I would suggest starting the show when the finalists are named. Spread over a couple of nights, each finalist could be “unveiled” including some of their personal background, their audition, their performances to date — including Hollywood Week. If we, as viewers, saw the whole package in a 15 or 20 minute segment, maybe we could get to know the contestants like the judges do.

I admit it. I watch American Idol and I vote each week. The bigger question is whether I will continue to do so next year. The jury is still out.

THOUGHT TO REMEMBER: Pay off your credit cards every month.

Posted in relationships, television | Tagged , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

The Empty Tomb

Posted on April 4, 2015 by wisdomfromafather

I don’t usually re-post, but as we approach this Easter season, I thought it appropriate since there are a lot more followers than a year ago. So, for my new-found friends, this is for you. And for my regular readers, this is a reminder.

There are two “major” celebrations on the church calendar – Christmas and Easter. One we celebrate with joy and festivity. The other we generally celebrate quietly, with a little more reserve and certainly a lot more reverence and solemnity.

The latter, of course, is Easter – actually a compilation of the days that begin on Palm Sunday and end with Christ’s resurrection, encompassing His passion and His reprehensible death along the way.

But to look at the Easter season with sadness, I feel, is missing the whole point. These few days are the foundation of our entire faith. Without the pain, suffering, death – and most important – resurrection, Jesus was just another kind-hearted man with a vision.

Certainly, the agony is worth remembering. In fact, the agony is worth feeling. But it is the resurrection we should focus on … and that should give us reason to celebrate – really celebrate.

When I was growing up – as, probably, most of us can remember – the emphasis of Lent was denial. And being just average kids, we looked forward to Sundays because we could “forget” the denials – candy, ice cream or whatever. It was a “day off.”

Then came Holy Week. The palms were nice, but again, the focus shifted immediately into the passion and for the next few days, Jesus’ suffering was drummed into our heads. Good Friday was a day of quiet, reflecting on Jesus’ death.

Somehow, that was almost the end of the message. Easter Sunday was anti-climactic. We spent so much time dwelling on the death of Jesus, His resurrection almost got lost.

At Christmas, we celebrate the birth of Jesus. Despite the commercialism that has grown, as a faith community we can sense the joy of the season. It is truly a celebration.

What about Easter? Is that same joy present? Is there any joy present?

I don’t think so.

Over the years I’ve theorized about why. Perhaps it is because there is no fixed date. Perhaps it is because we are, generally, still depressed from a long winter.

But perhaps it is also because we reduce the entire Lenten season – particularly Holy Week and Good Friday – to the suffering Jesus. As humans, we don’t like suffering … in ourselves or in others.

As a result, our minds and emotions shut down around Good Friday. It’s just too painful for us to watch this Jesus die this death. It becomes even more painful when we consider He died for us, our sins contributed to the weight of the cross, the sting of the nails, the labored breathing, the disgraceful death.

The focal point of the season should be 36 hours later … Easter, the empty tomb. We should have our eyes on that empty tomb at Easter – just as we have our eyes fixed on the crib at Christmas.

While sharing the Eucharistic meal, we should recognize the Jesus of the empty tomb. While recalling the passion of Jesus, we should be looking to that empty tomb. While reflecting on the crucifixion, we should contemplate its meaning as a necessary step from this world to the empty tomb. As we ponder the mystery of the risen Christ at Vigil, Sunrise or Easter services, we should see the mystery in light of that empty tomb.

A moved rock, nothing but a shroud, an empty tomb. That’s the foundation of our faith. Jesus’ resurrection makes it possible for us to be resurrected. And just as Jesus replaced His spot in the tomb for a place at His Father’s table, so, too, will our tomb be emptied and we will join Father, Son, Spirit and our fellow believers at that same table.

That’s cause for celebration.

THOUGHT TO REMEMBER: Jesus Christ did not come into this world to make bad people good; He came into this world to make dead people live. — Lee Strobel

This originally was written while I was editor at the Catholic Standard, newspaper for the Archdiocese of Washington, DC, and re-published in my newspaper, Reveille/Between the Lakes. I thought I would share it with this audience as well.

Posted in celebration, Easter, encouragement, Good Friday, joy, relationships, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments