…already?

Posted on December 24, 2020 by Scott Siccardi
“Don’t forget about the little things in life. They might just be what’s holding you firmly on the ground…”

I often hear this time of year,

“Man, I can’t believe it’s Christmas already!”

and

“Where does the time go?”

Have you ever thought these thoughts?

I have. Mostly because all the things I felt I wanted to accomplish over the year, weren’t fulfilled.

How about you? Is this time of year one of fulfillment or of missed opportunities?

I remember when 2011 had been a year of tremendous challenge, change and transition for me.

I came close to losing everything in a heartbeat- family, job, health. Though my faith wasn’t shaken, I sure did ask a few times, “God, don’t you remember the prayers of my youth? All those dreams and goals you placed on my heart? What is it you want me to do?”

and as softly as a gentle wind blows, I hear…

“How about, Let it go…..”

When you really stop and reflect, although certainly more chaotic and heartbreaking than I can ever remember, not much has changed for 2020. Looking back, it becomes clearer to see that the reality is, every year is really much the same….

Opportunity mixed with Difficulty.

So, no matter what difficulties you may have faced this year, and no matter how dire, hopeless, alone or scary the circumstance may seem…

…don’t sell short your abilities. Look beyond where you are and know there are others, that have not only been where you are, but are also there to help you along the way. Live and express freely you innermost desires and pursue them in a way that serves others. Find the vehicle to take you there and drive it for all its worth.

Most importantly, don’t…give….up!

Because…

you ARE NOT alone.

Merry Christmas! 🙂
~scooter~

Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.

-Galatians 6:9 NIV

Posted in dreams, encouragement, family, goals, health, things that matter, wisdom | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

The Blessing

Posted on December 23, 2020 by Deanna Kohlhofer

I have heard a million times that “Life is not perfect” and this is accurate. We face very real problems every day. We all have our “why me” moments – the kids cry, the laundry piles up, the dog is under our feet, work is uncertain, and bills come due at the worst times. Let’s face it, life is messy. Everyone is going through something, seen or unseen, and all the little things add up to serve as a distraction. These things whisk us away from the “perfect life” picture we created in our mind and dump us where we would rather not be – reality. 

As we begin to compare reality to the illusion we created as to what a perfect life looks like, it tends to bring various responses–anger, attention seeking, frustration, sarcasm, and a jaded outlook of where we are. No matter how far we have traveled, we somehow forget and tend to focus on what should have been, could have been, or was supposed to be. It is all too easy to fall into the trap and become consumed with what we missed, what we lost, or what we can’t have.

Several times in my life that notion of what should have been came to a crashing halt and made me wonder “why me?” Working in a call center for the better part of my life, I know I am not alone. In fact, I hear of these struggles from others every day. Some are situational and some are self-created, but it goes to show that life is far from perfect. So, how do we move closer to that picture in our mind and the quest to find a more perfect life?

We train ourselves to focus on what is right in a world of wrongs.

As simple as that statement is, it is much more difficult to put into practice. I am going to take a page from my father’s playbook and share something I was witness to that might put this into perspective.

During the lockdown, I had the honor of having my father here at the house in Kentucky. He started every day in the family chat room with a good morning, a thought of the day and morning smile, followed by questions of what our plans were. After I was done working every night, we would enjoy a home cooked meal and recap the day, the news, and the little frustrations of life. It was a nice routine, followed by a quick cleanup of the dinner mess before settling in for a nightly movie.

As some of you know, I started to post my own thoughts of the day and daily laughs on my Facebook wall. One evening, as part of our nightly conversation, dad asked why I started doing this. I let him know that I started it as a way to let people know they were not alone – which at times I felt. I thought it would be a passing fad, quite honestly, but I received heartfelt feedback that the morning laugh made others smile when they wanted to cry, or the thought of the day resonated with them somehow. As a result, I kept it going. It seemed to have value and if I can help shed a different perspective for someone or help shine a light on a dark day, that was more of the person I wanted to be. 

That night dad picked the movie and he loaded up “The Ultimate Life.” We watched it and rather than going off to bed when it was over, we sat and talked. He started telling me like the movie he counts his blessings, but he does it twice. Confused I asked him why he did it twice. His response put things into perspective for me. He said he counts his blessings in the morning, which was keeping up with our lives, and he used that blessing to remind him to look for the little blessings throughout the day. He gently reminded me there was always something to be thankful for. If you have followed dad for any length of time, you know that his blessings were not always extravagant. Sometimes the blessing was an odd shaped shadow spotted on the wall, watching Angelina dance in the snow, or the beautiful patterns of the clouds in the sky. Dad took time to notice everything and everyone around him – and he was thankful. With that, his nightly blessings were born and added to his website.  

Life is not perfect, and yes there are struggles we will face. But we can create a perfect life simply by counting each moment as a blessing, looking not at what we do not have but being grateful for what we do. For me, those simple things include a roof over my head, food in my belly, a silly dog to keep me company, and a vibrant sunrise to remind me that the world is bigger than we can see. There are blessings all around us. Living simply to find and enjoy those blessings shaped a man who lived his life without regret. He appreciated all things and savored every moment and now it is our turn to follow in his footsteps.  

As you may have noticed, we have continued to post our blessings on Facebook each night as a way to carry on Wisdom 2.5. I want to extend an invitation and challenge for each reader to send us your blessing for the day too. Let’s partner together and share with others how living simply and being grateful can really change the lens we view the world in. That is wisdom from my father. May it reach far and wide.  

~ Joe Jr.

Posted in blessings, encouragement, joy, observations, stories, wisdom | 6 Comments

Every Family Tells a Story

Posted on December 21, 2020 by Deanna Kohlhofer

Every Monday, dad would whip up a special “Words of the Week” post to get our week started. I am not as good at finding special quotes or funny comics so I will have to rely on my siblings for help, but I did find a quote that might work for this week…

I actually posted this quote to my facebook wall three years ago, and it smacked me between the eyes again today. Not only did I think about this in my role as a mom now, but I thought about my parents as they took on the job of raising five hooligans. We were anything but “good kids.” My siblings and I are forever retelling stories of things that happened to us in the past – being chased by mom with a wooden spoon, playing loud music when we were mad, sneaking out of the house, skipping school…and that is just the small stuff. I won’t get into the big things of our sordid past!

As I sit here thinking of these things, I don’t have to wonder if mom and dad were frustrated – I know they were! But they were also filled with love and compassion for us kids, so they learned to show us what grace looked like in real, practical, everyday life. That is how their faith worked. They didn’t shove their religion down our throats. Instead, they lived out their faith and allowed us to make our own choices.

I’m thankful they didn’t try to be the “right” parents. Instead, they just loved us through life – every part of it. The highs and the lows – and believe me, the Siccardi kids knew how to hit those low notes. But instead of scolding us or guilting us into submission, they allowed their hearts to break for us. They took on our sadness. They fielded our pain. And they loved us through whatever tragedy or consequence we were suffering.

As a mom, I understand how difficult it is to cooperate with God sometimes. I am a people-pleaser and a “fixer,” much like my own mom was. Praying is not the difficult part for me. The difficult part is waiting and listening without jumping up too quickly and saying, “I’ve got the answer…” I have learned that I need to wrestle with the things happening just as much as my kids do. God has molded my own heart in the process of their physical growth for the purpose of their spiritual growth.

I want my kids to know and love Jesus as much as I do. I’d prefer they come to that deep love well before I did and without the crumby circumstances pushing me towards it, but beggars can’t be choosers. I think mom and dad felt the same way. So, I will continue to live by their example – loving my kids through their crazy while showing them what the grace and goodness of God looks like. Being a quiet example is sometimes the best way to get a kids attention. And if that fails, then we simply pray harder and allow God to move.

He has had a lot of room {and reason} to move in our family through the years – and I couldn’t love the story of restoration and redemption more. Trust me when I tell you, God is good. I am remembering those three words deep in my soul today and thanking him for blessing me with the family he so perfectly chose for me.  

What does this quote mean to you?

~ D 🙂

Posted in children, family, grace, motherhood, parenting, spirituality, things that matter | Leave a comment

…big shoes to fill

Posted on December 20, 2020 by Scott Siccardi
“He leaves BIG shoes to fill,
but they are heading in the right direction…”

I have pretty small feet. One of my LEAST favorite things to do is replace my shoes. I can never quite find a shoe that fits just right.

I get them too big and I get calluses and blisters from all the rubbing around. I get them too small, my feet get sores and ingrown nails. I try hand me downs, and well, let’s just say, don’t try the mushroom soup.

Never did my feet feel smaller, than when I found all of dad’s shoes and placed them in a pile…

I thought about all the places they had been, adventures they had, all the storms they weathered.

They were such big shoes to fill… How could I ever fill them?

I realized, though, his shoes aren’t for me to fill. I’ll get blisters and sores, calluses and, well, you know about the soup.

We are meant to wear our own shoes. Walk our own path. Weather our own storms. The shoes we wear are simply tools used to carry out whatever mission we are on.

When it’s time to run, we wear running shoes. When it’s time to work, we wear work boots. When it’s time to kick back and relax, we wear house shoes. It’s not the shoes that determines our activity, it’s our activity that determines our shoes.

…besides,

the greatest shoes of all weren’t shoes at all… they were sandals.

Thought of the Day….

“In the middle of every difficulty, comes opportunity.”
– Albert Einstein

Posted in encouragement, self worth, Sunday sermonette | 3 Comments

I Promise

Posted on December 19, 2020 by Deanna Kohlhofer

Hi – Nicolle here. I am the 4th born of the five misfits. I will not claim favoritism because well, let’s face it – the older kids think they have that title. I was always taught to take the higher road so I will allow them to have it!

When my brother first asked if we were interested in keeping dad’s blog going, I was excited, but I did not expect to contribute much. I honestly no longer possess the same writing talent I once did. There was a time many, many moons ago, when I wanted to walk in my dad’s footsteps. I even wanted to take over the newspaper when he decided to retire. But somewhere along the way, I lost all talent I once had. I don’t know if I lost my passion, if I lost my way, or if I simply forgot how to write. I am sure it is a combination of all three – but today, it bothers me.

I tell you this because, as you all know, dad and my siblings all have this writing gift. In fact, I was quite surprised my brothers had the gift because I didn’t even know they knew how to read!! {Ha! Kidding…love you guys!}

So…where did my gift go? How will I help keep dad’s legacy alive? It really saddened me.

I have questioned many things in my life. Okay, most things in my life… A common theme has been, “Why me?” It won’t surprise you when I say that dad was always my voice of reason. He was the first one to tell me things like, “God doesn’t throw more at you than you can handle. Take a deep breath, relax, and look for the blessing.” I am not really seeing the blessing in my loss of writing ability – especially as I link arms with my siblings to continue what dad started, but I am sure it is there…somewhere.

I have been riding an emotional rollercoaster, but yesterday took the cake. I was snarky. I cried. I laughed. I cried some more…and then I got angry. I wanted to yell, scream, throw things, and act like I was two again because I just wanted answers. No. I needed answers.

Why did God have to take my parents before I was ready? Why did I lose my ability to write? Why do my kids have to drive me crazy? Why do my family and two best friends have to live so far away? Why am I alone?

Through all my emotion, I heard dad as if he was sitting on my shoulder, whispering in my ear…

“Honey, you were ready. If you weren’t, we would have stayed. You will see that one day. I promise.”

“Nicolle, you have not lost the ability to write. You have misplaced it. Look for it and you will find it again. I promise.”

“Do you think you kids were saints? HA! You drove your mother and I bonkers! You have been blessed with the Mother’s Curse and your kids will turn out fine, just like you and your siblings. I promise.”

“Life isn’t a television show where family lives right next door. This is real life and while yes, they all live a distance away, they are always there and that is what matters. I promise.”

“Sweetheart, you are never alone. You have your family. You have your friends, who are like family. You have your mother and I. You have the Lord at your side as well. You are never alone. I promise.”

I am not satisfied with any of dad’s answers {I might be a little stubborn}, but I know he is right. He was always right. I have probably never admitted that before…

I believe dad was an angel, placed here intentionally to help guide the misguided, love the unloved, support the unsupported, and reach the unreachable. He was my dad because God knew no one else could handle me {I told you I might be stubborn}. He is, was, and always will be my blessing.

What is your blessing? If you are unsure, confused, or afraid you’ve missed it, let me remind you to relax, take a deep breath, and seek it out. *wink*

~ Cole

Posted in blessings | 9 Comments

Conclude

Posted on December 18, 2020 by Deanna Kohlhofer

Conclude…

Well, isn’t this an interesting word? I have read my dad’s Five Minute Friday posts for quite some time and I have threatened to join – but never did. Dad is probably smirking right now as I write this. Joke is on me, I guess.

When I saw the writing prompt, my brain immediately went to the conclusion of movies. I’ve seen way too many movies with abrupt, incomplete, or predictable conclusions. It makes me angry. The guy does not always get the girl. The job is not always the dream. The family is not always perfect. Why do we have to pretend? What happened to cliffhangers and tear-jerkers? I know it is just a movie, but if I pay $12 to get in plus $15 more in popcorn, I expect a darn good ending, ya know?

And suddenly my heart tells me I am not really mad about a bad ending in a movie. I am just mad at an ending. A conclusion.

STOP

…Five minutes is not long enough for me to organize my thoughts and type anything with coherence. I’ll try to do better… I will also learn how to post these in a timely manner and link appropriately. For now, this is what I can offer.

Allow me to conclude with this: A very wise man once told me that the ending is just a new beginning. I never really understood that until now. I mean, I “got it” but in this moment of real life conclusion, I can only look up and say, “Yes dad, I get it.” The curtain has been drawn and this particular scene must conclude, but the show is far from over.

What comes to your mind with the word “conclude?”

Posted in Five Minute Friday | 10 Comments

Everyone is Welcome

Posted on December 18, 2020 by Deanna Kohlhofer

Everyone is welcome.

That is what my late father would say. He was the kind of guy who opened his heart and his home to everyone. He shared his life, his struggles, his joys, and his stories…all in hopes that his words might help others find strength, inspiration, hope, or just provide a little comfort when things didn’t feel quite right.

He was a talented writer, constantly perfecting his craft. When he started his blog, I remember him telling me for the first time in his life he struggled with the right words. I laughed at him and told him he had to be joking! He went on to explain that the blog was a whole new world for him. You see, he had always known his audience and therefore knew how to best assemble a message so that it had the greatest opportunity to impact the reader. He asked me, “Who reads blogs? What kinds of things should I write about?” I told him I didn’t know who would read it or what their personal circumstances would be, but if he was going to start a blog, he should just be real, take a chance, and put his story out there. The worst thing that could happen would be that nobody would find value in his words. If that happened, he could find a different platform to share on. 


Thankfully, my father took the chance, set fear aside, and started this site. His words touched many, and with his blog there was no limit or boundary. He simply stayed true and shared stories with the world. I am grateful he did, because my father’s words obviously influenced so many. We have heard stories of how he helped people out of dark times. We have heard how he inspired people he never met to take a chance on being better than they thought was possible. His words–his stories–his way.


None of us expected the outpouring of love and support from strangers with dad’s passing. It was amazing, and honestly provided us strength as we walked through a difficult time. This outpouring of support from people that found value in his words spawned an idea and several conversations in our family chat room. Simply summed up, we all determined if there is value in the stories and perspectives offered, we would continue to post as Wisdom 2.5…two parents, 5 kids…continuing dads dream to reach people with words in hopes it has value and changes lives. 


I don’t know who will read this blog any more now than they did when my father first asked me about starting this. All I can do is listen to the same words I told him…be real, take the chance, and put our story out there.

~ Joe Jr.

Posted in death, dreams, encouragement, family, grief | 11 Comments

Wisdom 2.5

Posted on December 16, 2020 by wisdomfromafather

I knew it was going to be a bad day when I dropped my coffee mug on the floor as I was trying to leave for work. I have heard my dad say before, “Don’t cry over spilled milk,” but spilled coffee is almost criminal. I did shed a few tears over that coffee and declared Monday, December 14, 2020 a crappy day. Little did I know how crappy it was about to get.

Hi – my name is Deanna and I am Joe’s eldest {and possibly favorite} daughter. As many of you already know, December 14th was also the day my dad went home to be with Jesus, the love of his life, his dear friend Sonni, his parents, and others. My siblings and I really were not happy with his departure, but we are all comforted knowing we will see him again soon.

My dad has always seemed invincible to me. When I looked at him, I always saw him with my ten-year old eyes. I saw him strong, maybe a little strong-willed, and determined. I saw his crooked smile, dimples, and twinkling eyes all ready to speak without words. I saw his compassion. I saw his servant heart. I saw his humility. I saw his zest for life, living his own with no regrets; going after that which he felt led to, and doing everything with joy – well, except maybe the things that involved tools.

I will not rehash all the details – I can’t really. It is still so fresh and terribly difficult to process. But I will tell you my dad sure knew a lot of people. My siblings and I are overwhelmed by the plethora of well wishes, prayers, encouragement, and support found on his social media and email. We can’t help but smile with every conversation that starts something like, “I remember your dad…” We have no idea who most of you are, but I can tell you we are all so humbled and proud of our dad. You see, he was doing exactly what he taught us kids to do. We simply fail to do it as well.

Dad was not a stranger to anyone. He genuinely loved people. He knew how to engage in conversation. He always looked for the best in others. His faith led his every move as he loved and encouraged those in his path. Day by day, he sought out ways to be the light of Jesus and he did it well. He opened his home, his heart, his entire life to anyone who needed anything – an ear to listen, a meal to share, a bed to sleep in. He would give his last jar of peanut butter to you if you needed it. And if you knew my dad, you knew peanut butter was like gold to him. He and mom taught us well – not with words, but in the way they chose to live their lives.

My siblings and I have wondered how others will remember dad and what will happen now that he is on his next big adventure. You see, dad worked hard his entire life, not to accumulate a bunch of stuff {his things will fit nicely into a U-Haul}, but to leave a footprint. His size 9 is found all over – from New Jersey to Illinois, to Ohio, to Maryland, to New York, to Maine – and everywhere in-between. That man made his mark! No, he is not famous. He is not leaving behind wealth and possessions, but rather a path to follow. And it is a good thing, because without a path to follow, I would be lost in more ways than one.

It is often said that parents are blessed with children – but children are also blessed with parents. My siblings and I happen to be five lucky kids, blessed to call Joe and Karen Siccardi our parents. We had a front row seat to the good life – which included a slew of examples, even more mistakes, and lessons too many to count. My dad did a good job sharing all these things – pieces of the past, glimpses of the present, and dreams of the future. We know you all loved his stories, thoughts, and quips as much as we did. So, to keep you all connected with the man we knew and loved, we have decided to keep this blog alive and well, though its owner has gone on to bigger and better things. It will still be wisdom from a father. Afterall, the nuggets of truth we hold in our hearts all come from the wisdom of the man we call dad. It only seems right to continue to share.

Call it a spontaneous grief coping mechanism if you must, but we couldn’t be more excited to share bits of our lives with you and continue this blog as long as we are able. Dad had the desire to share far and wide and we feel there is still work to be done. We’ll call it Wisdom 2.5. Wisdom imparted to five lucky kids who are finally ready to share. We hope you will stick around for the next part of the journey and we hope we will make dad proud in the process.

Thanks, dad – for your love and your example…and your push, once again, to take the next step. We’ll take it from here.    

Posted in blessings, children, death, encouragement, family, grief, joy, Memories, wisdom | 30 Comments

Hey Santa

Posted on December 8, 2020 by wisdomfromafather

As many of you know, I was supposed to launch my book Yes, There Is a Santa … And I’ve Seen Him Many Times last Saturday as a tag on to the Ho Ho Hometown Christmas festivities in Dover-Foxcroft. The old man himself was to be in the parade, then zip back up to North Pole where he would log into my Zoom virtual meeting and be available to chat with those boys and girls who signed up. Well. It didn’t happen.

Mid-Maine was blanketed with a snow bomb cyclone. The Piscataquis County Chamber of Commerce opted to postpone its festivities — which included a visit by Santa to light to Dover-Foxcroft Christmas tree. The Commons at Central Hall, which was hosting my launch/reading event, quickly followed, which was a good thing because power would have been lost about midway into the program and I would still have had to inch my way back to Dexter along a darkened, dozen mile, two lane Route 7 through the wind whipped bluster of the storm. Safely tucked in my apartment, for the next 22 hours or so, the dog and I nuzzled under blankets. She had her dry food and I had my go-to staple, peanut butter. I did a little {and I mean a very little} reading by hurricane lamp. We both caught up on our zzzs as we listened to the wind whistle.

Monday morning, however, I found myself dialing Santa. {Yes, I do have his contact information. No, don’t ask.} I wanted to make sure he didn’t get stuck in the storm. The conversation went something like this …

“Good morning Santa.”

“Morning Joe. What’s up?”

“Just checking on you. I wanted to make sure you were okay and didn’t get caught in the storm.”

“I’m fine. A little snow never bothers us. Remember that time in Illinois? What was it, 1975? Crazy year.”

“Yes it was. Like I said I just wanted to check in with you. I thought we would chat Saturday, but, of course, that didn’t happen.”

“Yeah. You were pitching your book while I flew back to the North Pole, right?”

“That was the plan.”

“It kind of got disrupted, didn’t it. Fine book, by the way. Fine book.”

“Have you read it?”

“No. I haven’t had the chance yet. It’s busy up here this time of year. But the Mrs. did. She enjoyed it.”

“That’s good to hear.”

“It’s probably a blessing things were postponed in town.”

“Yeah. It would have been terrible having the kids standing outside during the parade.”

“That too,” said Santa. “But we had a little incident up here earlier in the day.”

“Oh???”

“We were doing some practice takeoffs with Gertrude.”

“Gertrude?”

“Yeah, Comet’s leg was bothering him so we hitched up Gertrude … just in case we needed her for the Christmas run.”

“Is Comet okay? What happened with Gertrude?”

“I think Comet will be okay. Doc wants him to take it easy for a few days. Gertie’s fine. She just slipped on takeoff and the sleigh just starting shaking like crazy.”

“Didn’t the gyros keep it steady?””That was the problem. We discovered the housing holding the gyros had loosened, so they weren’t steady … and neither was the sleigh.”

“What did you do?”

“Turned around, of course. The elf mechanics went to work fixing it.”

“You have quite a crew there Santa. At least you didn’t have to call out North Pole AAA.”

Santa howled with one of his patented belly laughs. “Been there. Done that, didn’t we.”

“Yeah. Never a good feeling when you see flashing lights in your driveway.”

“Is that story in your book?”

“Yup!”

“We sure did have some good times,” added Santa.

There was a knock at his door. “Excuse me, Joe”. I could hear him talking to one his elves. He put the phone to his air again and said, “That was Alf. There’s a problem in the workshop. It’s been good talking to you.”

“Yes it was,” I replied. “I was just checking on you. I’ll talk to you this Saturday.”

“You betcha! Have a Ho! Ho! Holiday week. Talk to you soon.”

That was my Monday morning. Santa was right. We have had many a conversation over the years. Some of them are included in my first person account of meeting Santa in Yes, There Is a Santa … And I Have Met Him Personally Many Times.

I will read excerpts from the book this Saturday at 6:30 p.m. and followup with additional anecdotes at 4 p.m. Dec. 19. After reading, I will personally introduce you to Santa so you can share your Christmas list with him … or just chat with him. You can sign up for the free Zoom meeting by pre-registering at CentralHallCommons.org In addition, you will receive a free keepsake gift! And there are other activities and suggestions as well.

THOUGHT TO REMEMBER: God put Santa Claus on earth to remind us Christmas is ‘sposed to be a happy time. — Bil Keane

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Today is a Gift

Posted on December 7, 2020 by wisdomfromafather

Our Words for the Week reflection come from Ray Lammie and his Thought for the Day.

I was given a most precious gift this morning when I woke up. It’s a gift I never received before. It’s one I can’t keep, can’t return, can’t save, and don’t know how well it will really work. I do know it’s a most wonderful and beautiful gift. I hope I value and appreciate it enough to use it wisely.

That gift is “this day!” Enjoy yours, and make it a very special one.

THOUGHT TO REMEMBER: Put blinders on to those things that conspire to hold you back, especially the ones in your own head. — Meryl Streep

 

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