Five Minute Friday — New

Here’s this week’s installment of Five Minute Friday. You might remember the task is to write for five minutes on a specific prompt word. The initiative was started by Lisa-Jo Baker who thought why not take five minutes and see what comes out: not a perfect post, not a profound post, just five minutes of focused writing. She has since handed the reins over to Kate Motaung with the project drawing hundred of writers congregating at her place for a words flash mob (http://katemotaung.com/).

This week’s prompt is NEW. The time for this week’s writing task at hand. The timer is set and the clock starts NOW.

I was sitting in the gazebo this morning pondering the prompt and watching the birds flutter in the bushes and the squirrels scamper around with nuts in their mouths. Overhead I could hear a flock of geese preparing for their trip south. And I thought, new? This is old. This is the end of the season.

A bird flew through the gazebo, then another taking a short cut very close to my ear on the way to the bushes. And it struck me. It’s all part of nature. The end of summer is the beginning of fall. The “old” routines were being replaced by “new” routines.

And it’s true in all facets of our lives. As things end — get old — new things emerge. Like words in a book, when you finish one chapter and turn the page, you start anew with a new chapter, a continuation of the story.

It’s … STOP

… that way with our lives. Each old day fades into a new day … with new opportunities, new challenges, new possibilities.

THOUGHT TO REMEMBER: Focus on living your life and let the opinions of others be what they are.

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We Had So Many Moments

 

karen sleeveThere is a Funky Winkerbean cartoon taped to the file cabinet next to my desk. I look at it every day. Les Moore lost his wife to cancer and he is driving with his daughter Summer. She asks, “Dad … Do you still miss Mom?”

Next frame, Les responds, “There hasn’t been a day. But after a while, you begin to understand …” Jump to frame three. “That you can’t let your grief become the substitute for the one you love.”

It took me a while to take that in, to understand it, to make it make sense.

Six years. It has been six years to the minute of this post since I changed my status from married to widowed, from husband to widower.

To be honest, some days it doesn’t seem like six years. The events unfold like they were yesterday. On other days, it seems sooooo long ago. But the reality is it has been six years of mood swings, of moving on, of holding back.

Don’t let anyone fool you into believing life goes on after the death of someone with whom you intimately shared your life with for any length of time — in my case 40 years — dies. It doesn’t go on … it changes. There is a piece of you that dies as well. It’s not all gloom and doom. It’s just different. Her imprint remains throughout the house and indelibly on my heart and life. There isn’t a day that goes by when I don’t think about her … sometimes with a smile, others with a grimace when I remember where I failed and still others with a tear or two.

I don’t want to be melancholic. After all, we had 40 amazing years together. And I don’t want to dwell on the months leading up to Karen’s death. She showed amazing grace during that time. I chronicled it if anyone is interested in reading about it (Amazing Grace, https://wisdomfromafather.com/2012/09/27/amazing-grace/). And I expanded my reaction over the last two anniversary years with https://wisdomfromafather.com/2012/09/28/more-amazing-grace/  and https://wisdomfromafather.com/2013/09/27/899/.

This year, I am going to borrow words from Gloria Gaither, as performed with her husband in the song, We Have This Moment Today back in the late 70s. It’s one track on the Then He Said Sing! tape.

Does love have a beginning that a meeting’s measured by? Does it happen in a moment like white lightening from the sky? Can you tell me its dimensions — just this wide and just this high? When did I start to love you?

Were the days we just talked the beginning of it all? Or the times we just walked in the park. I remember just how timidly you first shared your feelings — and how timidly, yet easily, it was for me to share my feelings. It showed you cared. Your dreams became my dreams. My dreams became your dreams. When did I start to love you?

As we walked together through life, expanding our two to three and four and five and six and seven. Was that our love story? Was it the arrival of our grandchildren, who you loved to spoil? Was that our love story?

I so looked forward to “our” time over morning coffee and after dinner. I reveled in your development as a writer and editor, blending your faith into everyday life. You were a great prayer warrior and roots of faith went deep. You prayed for each child and grandchild – me, too, many times – through every calamity from bumps and bruises to addictions, pregnancies and divorces. Were those the moments when love began?

Was it when there were no words for grief — just an urn that gaped at all I called belief. When the “amen” was so final. Was it then I came to love you?

It is all those moments we shared individually and collectively that intersected two individual lives into one. I love you because I love you … and nothing can ever change that. Not six years. Not sixty years. Not eternity.

We always kidded each other. I would say “You’re going to miss me when I’m gone” and she would respond, “No, no, no. You’re going to miss me when I’m gone.”

Once again, she was right.

THOUGHT TO REMEMBER: There is always, always, always something to be thankful for.

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Five Minute Friday … Because

It’s Friday. Time for Five Minute Friday.

Under Kate Motaung’s direction, hundreds of bloggers rally around a themed word and, well, write for five minutes. No rules. No backtracks. Nothing profound. Not perfect. Just five minutes of writing, letting the Spirit move you.

Our word this week is BECAUSE.

I’ve been guilty of it many times. One of the kids would ask a question and I would respond Because …

Now, sometimes, the word just hung there because I needed more time to process an answer. Others times, it was a hereditary response passed down from my father.

And that got me to thinking. It is a heredity reflex from our Father, our heavenly Father, although I was always on the asking side of the question when I received the answer Because …

Because … It’s not time yet.

Because… It’s not good for you.

Because … You’re not ready for it yet.

Because … It will hurt you.

Because … You’ll ruin the surprise.

Because … You haven’t done your jobs {like spending time with Me}

Because … You haven’t been listening to Me.

Because … It’s not in your best interest.

Because … I know better than you do.

Because … I’ve been there, you haven’t.

Because … You  misbehaved.

Because … STOP

Just because …

And my favorite, Because … I said so.

There may be some wisdom from the Father. Just because.

Fell free to contribute your own “because” Dadisms. And don’t forget to check out Kate’s spot for other takes on the word (http://katemotaung.com/2014/09/25/five-minute-friday-because/).

THOUGHT TO REMEMBER: The only opinion of you that is important is God’s.

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Forgiveness

How many of us have done stupid, spiteful things … We need expertly crafted bridges over the chasms we’ve created. Hope you enjoy this.

THOUGHT TO REMEMBER: There are only three things that can make your dreams come true: your thoughts, your words, and your actions. Dream BIG!!

booklovers1's avatarbooklovers1

Once upon a time two brothers who lived on adjoining farms fell into conflict. It was the first serious rift in 40 years of farming side by side, sharing machinery, and trading labour and goods as needed without a hitch. Then the long collaboration fell apart. It began with a small misunderstanding and it grew into a major difference, and finally it exploded into an exchange of bitter words followed by weeks of silence. File:Wooden bridge over tarang river.jpg

One morning there was a knock on John’s door. He opened it to find a man with a carpenter’s toolbox. “I’m looking for a few days work” he said. “Perhaps you would have a few small jobs here and there. Could I help you?”

“Yes,” said the older brother. “I do have a job for you. Look across the creek at that farm. That’s my neighbor, in fact, it’s my younger brother. Last week there was…

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Five Minute Friday — Hold

Here’s this week’s installment of Five Minute Friday.

This week’s prompt is HOLD. The timer is set … so here goes. {clock starts now}

This is about a week premature. Next weekend, I’m planning to head out to Massachusetts to hold my newest granddaughter.

I love holding babies. I don’t know what to do with them when I’m holding them, but I do love it. At that newborn stage, they just contently lay there {most of the time} and I can’t help but marvel at God’s work. And I think back to holding my children at this age … and my other grandchildren … and my great-grandchildren. It just never gets old.

Some time in the ancient past, someone held me as an infant. I know not who, but I like to think it was one of my grandparents or aunts or uncles who first whispered the words to me I whisper to my children, grandchildren and great-children. “Lord, hold him/her in Your hands and bless them. They are Your masterpieces.”

And, … STOP

… I am constantly reminded how blessed I am!

Well, that’s what popped into this mind this week.

You might remember the task is to write for five minutes on a specific prompt word. The initiative was started by Lisa-Jo Baker who thought about writing and how often our perfectionism gets in the way of our words. She figured, why not take five minutes and see what comes out: not a perfect post, not a profound post, just five minutes of focused writing. Guess what? Hundreds of talented writers join in each week, She has since turned over the monitoring reins to Kate Motaung (http://katemotaung.com/2014/09/18/five-minute-friday-hold/). Check it out.

THOUGHT TO REMEMBER: Take refuge in God and you will be able to handle anything life throws your way.

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Five Minute Friday — Ready

The calendar says it’s Friday so it must be time for Five Minute Friday. You remember, it’s when a group of us ponder a prompt word of the week and just write for five minutes. The exercise is moderated by Kate Motaung (http://katemotaung.com/2014/09/11/five-minute-friday-ready-and-a-challenge/) and was started by Lisa Jo Baker. Hundreds of writers pick their collective brains for insight on the prompt … not necessarily pithy, not necessarily structurally correct … just words from the heart filtered through the brain and executed through the fingers.

This week, I’m taking a little different approach. The post is really an addendum to one I did yesterday (https://wisdomfromafather.com/2014/09/11/lets-pray-for-the-children/). It’s still a take on the prompt.

I’m READY, which happens to be the prompt word, so here goes. The timer is set for five minutes, so READY, SET,  GO

You’ve seen the commercials. The little girl lays down on the floor and asks her phone, “Do dogs dream?” and gets an answer! It’s so darn cute.

You’ve seen the commercials. Two pre-teen kids are in the airport and some grown ups are arguing about what film the clip on the TV is from. They point their smart phone toward the screen and get an answer … then proceed to announce they have thousands of movies at their command. Isn’t technology great!

The new Amazon Fire Phone has a 13 MP camera; 11 hour video battery; dual Dolby Digital Plus speakers; 4G Wi-Fi and Bluetooth 3.0 connectivity; 32 GB storage; and over 33 million titles, movies, TV episodes, songs and books an app away … all on a 4.7 inch HD LCD display. Mind boggling.

The question is, however, are they ready for the technological surge? Are we ready? I mean, how much accessibility is too much for a pre-teen?

I’m all for technology, but it seems plunking down $500 or more for a phone with a hefty monthly usage plan for a pre-teen … STOP

… might be a little too much. You want to know where they’re at? Fine. You want to give them a chance to call out for help if needed? Great. You want to stay connected? Okay. But at what cost.

It seems to me, we’re doing two things to the kids. First we’re “giving” them too much without them earning it. Secondly, we’re assuming they will respect the privilege they’re given when they can’t remember to pick up their clothes or brush their teeth.

Are we ready for that?

I’m all for technology, but we should be getting our children ready for life … not handing it to them on a silver platter.

I understand, we all want to give our children the best. But maybe, just maybe, it should be age appropriate and when they’re ready … not just a right of passage that comes at a younger and younger age.

How’s this for a radical idea. If the inquisitive young minds wants to know something, let them research it themselves rather than just push a button and get an answer. Even more radical, with a book … on their own.

That’s my Friday rant. I’m just not ready to give up on kids … or turn them over to the world.

THOUGHT TO REMEMBER: Your greatest attention getter for Christ may be you have a smile in a sea of sour.

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Let’s Pray for the Children

I had to take my two granddaughters to meet up with their father for a doctor’s appointment this morning. The elder, 14, commandeered the radio, but couldn’t decide what she wanted to listen to. Not a big deal. So she decided to play her phone playlist. Big deal.

The first “song” kept repeating a phrase, but I couldn’t make it out. “It’s all about the face?” I asked no. “No,” she replied, “All about that bass” from the song of the same name by Meghan Trainor.

Next was some song I presumed was from the Twilight trilogy.  It had something in it about it not being “your time to die” but the bass, strings and drums overpowered most of the words, except for an intermittent F bomb loud and clear in the chorus. Taylor said it was A Little Piece of Heaven by Avenged Sevenfold. When I looked up those lyrics, the F bomb was the least problematic. And it had nothing to do with the Twilight trilogy.

Next was a song about depression, I think. Again, I couldn’t make out most of it, but after being told it was Last Resort by Papa Roach, I checked out the lyrics. Here’s a sampling “… Cut my life into pieces … I’ve reached my last resort … Suffocation, no breathing … Don’t give a fuck if I cut my arm, bleeding … Do you even care if I die bleeding? … Would it be wrong?, would it be right? … If I took my life tonight …”

This is the playlist of an average 14 year old. It’s scary.

Of course, music isn’t the only problem. Video games are getting more and more graphic with better and better graphics. Cartoons today just aren’t funny … just bizarre Take, for example, Adventure Time, which follows the adventures of Pen, a human boy, and his best friend Jake, a dog with magical powers to change shape and grow and shrink at will; or The Amazing World of Gumball, which revolves around the life of a young cat named Gumball Watterson and his frequent shenanigans in the fictional American city and school in Elmore, accompanied by his adoptive goldfish brother and best friend Darwin and with interaction with his intellectual younger sister Anais and stay-at-home father Richard, both rabbits, and workaholic mother Nicole; or Regular Show, which is anything but regular revolving around the lives of two friends, a blue jay named Mordecai and a raccoon named Rigby  — both employed as groundskeepers at a local park with surreal, extreme and often supernatural misadventures with other characters Benson, Pops, Muscle Man, Hi-Five Ghost, Skips, Thomas, Margaret and Eileen.

Our movie and television heroes are vampires, the walking dead and paranormal activity. Crime drama is a staple, each season pushing the envelope just a little bit more than the last. You can’t find a comedy without sexual innuendo. Entertainment is watching contestants outwit, outplay and outlast each other while scantily clothed in a variety of reality programming or watching other people make fools of themselves.

We were watching American Ninja Warriors the other night {not my choice} and at each obstacle my 11 year old grandson oohed at the competition and announced he could do that.

And we scratch our heads when they try … or live in depression … or act out on fantasies. With helmets and pads, it’s more trouble going out to bike ride or play than it is to watch the mindless drivel. We’re shown the snippets, but not the preparations. We’re guided by the mantra, “Don’t try this at home” yet try it they do.

My generation pushed the envelope at times as well. We had Tom and Jerry and The Three Stooges and Evel Kneivel and even Twilight Zone. Some of our songs were just as strange, like Louie, Louie, (I Can’t Get No) Satisfaction, A Whiter Shade of Pale and a host of dying songs like Tell Laura I Love Her, Dead Man’s Curve, Moody River, Ode to Billy Joe or Laurie (Strange Things Happen). But, I think, we were able to separate real life from art.

Let’s pray for today’s youth.

THOUGHT TO REMEMBER: The best things in life are worth waiting for, fighting for, believing in and just never letting go.

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Thank You for All My Blessings

How fitting. My latest granddaughter — Hayleigh Ilizabeth-Joy Siccardi — made her appearance this afternoon at 4:45 p.m., appropriately on National Grandparents Day.

Hayleigh weighed in at seven pounds, five ounces and stretchedhayleigh 20 1/2 inches. My son advises me she has the “Siccardi nose.” I don’t know if that’s a good thing or not. Hayleigh, Mom and Dad and brothers Derrick, Timothy and Benjamin are reportedly doing fine, and Grandpa can’t wait to take a road trip to Massachusetts {not that I needed an excuse to take a road trip}.

This is actually grandchild No. 18, going along with two great-granddaughters, but the novelty never wears off. It never gets old or routine.

Babies are a gift from God … whatever the circumstances. They are a promise of the future, linking the past with the present. If you believe God is the author of life, you have to believe He has a plan. Hayleigh is His latest plan.

It’s hard to imagine an only child like me and a two-child family like Karen’s could produce five of our own and now 18 grandchildren and two great-grandchildren. We have been blessed … maybe not in material ways, but knowing our God has entrusted this family with care of His own. My only regret is Karen is not here physically to relish this moment.

With each of my children, I lifted them up to God in thanksgiving. With each of my grandchildren, I did the same. To Hayleigh I utter the identical prayer. Lord, I thank you for this gift. Give my children the same strength and wisdom You blessed me with to raise her as Your special child, with potential and possibilities way beyond their belief. They will not be perfect and neither was I. She will not be perfect and neither were they. But, let us all remember whose child she is … Yours. May Hayleigh grow as a reflection of the One who made her all the days of her life.

THOUGHT TO REMEMBER: God, thank You for all my blessings. Amen!

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Five Minute Friday — Whisper

Well, it’s Friday. Time to join the hundreds over at Kate’s place for a Friday free for all writing frenzy.

You remember, each Friday we congregate at Kate’s place (http://katemotaung.com/2014/09/04/five-minute-friday-whisper/) to throw in our two cents worth on a specific prompt word for the day. The only rule — keep it to five minutes {or so} and write because we love words and the relief it is to just write them without worrying if they’re just right or not. The joy is in the process no matter how messy the result.

This week’s word du jour is WHISPER. The timer is set and off we GO

We’ve all heard them. The A  personality who always speaks several octaves above normal. They somehow usually end up talking at you rather than to you.

We’ve all heard them. The quiet soul who always speaks softer than normal. It’s almost a whisper.

I don’t know about you, but I would rather converse with the whisperer. I feel I can have a legitimate conversation.

God speaks softly, almost in a whisper. Yeah, I know, sometimes He pounds us to get our attention, but when we turn our attention toward Him, He gently speaks in a whisper.

When you speak in a whisper, you have to concentrate on the conversation. You savor each word, rather than letting the loud voices crash, rattle and roll through the ears, into the mind and right back out.

Whispers are more pleasing. As you take in the words, they resonate in the mind.

What’s your style? … STOP

… Do you scream for attention? Or do you speak softly in a whisper?

As always, that five minutes went fast and needed a little boost!

That’s what popped into this pea brain this week. Pop over to Kate’s place to see what the others came up with.

THOUGHT TO REMEMBER: May you have love to share, health to spare and friends who care.

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Two Years

First things first. The graphic below has absolutely nothing to do with this post. It is just an expression of how I feel. Go Pack!
footballIt’s been two years since I began sharing my journey through the blogosphere. And it has been quite an adventure.

I officially signed up Sept. 2, 2012 {okay, actually my daughter signed me up because I had been procrastinating}. Since last year, I’ve shared 143 posts that have been viewed 4,745 times by 241 new followers in 69 countries, 13 countries more than last year. Most of my visitors have been from the United States and Canada, but there have also been significant readership from Vietnam, United Kingdom, India, Brazil, Australia, Switzerland and the Philippians. Others visited from  Germany, France, Indonesia, Italy, Russian Federation, Singapore, South Africa, Japan, Guatemala, Malaysia, Netherlands, Spain, Bangladesh, United Arab Emirates, Sweden, United Republic of Tanzania, Ireland, Nigeria, Israel, Pakistan, Thailand, Kenya, Hong Kong, Romania, New Zealand, Sri Lanka, Barbados, Jamaica, Republic of Korea, Belgium, Norway, Puerto Rico, Greece, Turkey, Venezuela, Poland and Iraq. New visitors have weighed in from Trinidad and Tobago, Ecuador, Jersey, Columbia, Mexico, Denmark, Jordan, Lebanon, Portugal, Argentina, Saudi Arabia, Uruguay, Nepal, Angola, Peru, Mongolia, Costa Rico, Ukraine, Bulgaria, Dominica, Papua New Guinea, Lithuania, Taiwan, Bermuda, Paraguay, Bahamas, Benin, Slovania, Nicaragua, Algeria, Austria, Albania, Morocco, Chile, Estonia, Cambodia and Cyprus. I lost contact with visitors from Hungary, Egypt, Honduras, Niger, Dominican Republic, Saint Vincent and the Grenadines, Macao, Serbia, Zambia and Malta. I still can’t figure out the international appeal.

My most visited day was Aug. 2 with 66 views. My most popular posts have been A Mouse, Chicken, Pig, Cow and Snake (Dec. 10, 2012), Sex in the ’60s (March 16, 2014); Love! Love! Love! (Aug. 2, 2014); The Pied Piper (May 31, 2014); In the Blink of an Eye (Sept. 27, 2013); Post Vacation Funk (July 19, 2014); My Wife, My Friend, My Love on Our Anniversary (Aug. 31, 2013); Pepperoni Dreams (Sept. 8, 2012); First Night … and Beyond (Jan. 2, 2014); All in the Family (July 9, 2014); Conversation with God (Sept. 18, 2012); Silent Monks “Sing” the Hallelujah Chorus (Nov. 3, 2013); 10 and 2 (March 8, 2014); 15 To Go (June 9, 2014); Happy Birthday, Honey (Nov. 20, 2013); Friday Without Five Minutes (May 16, 2014); Is That Creepy? (July 2, 2014); Rose of Sharon (July 19, 2013); Saying “I’m Sorry” (Dec. 13, 2013); Five Minute Friday — Hero (Jan. 31, 2014); Jimmy (Dec. 19, 2013); Let’s Talk About Sex (Jan. 23, 2014); Hall of Shame (May 18, 2014); First Night (Dec. 30, 2013); Listen to the Beat (March 22, 2014); Pro-Choice … Choose Life (Nov. 16, 2013); Five Minute Friday — Writer (April 4, 2014); and Surprise, CO (Feb. 26, 2014). Some of them, as you can see, go well before this past year but still bring in views.

I’ve received the most comments on Nature’s Melody (June 4, 2014), although that also received quite a bit of spam; Sex in the ’60s; My Wife, My Friend, My Love on Our Anniversary; Five Minute Friday — Laundry (Oct. 18, 2013); Five Minute Friday — Choose (Feb. 28, 2014); Five Minute Friday — She (Sept. 20, 2013); In the Blink of an Eye; Wait for Christmas Rudolph (Dec. 9, 2013); Five Minute Friday — Fill (Aug. 8, 2014); A Mouse, Chicken, Pig, Cow and Snake; Joy (March 21, 2014); First Night; Five Minute Friday — See (Jan. 10, 2014); and Five Minute Friday — Mess (May 2, 2014).

The biggest change this year, however, has been the number of spam replies. Somehow, the floodgates opened in June. This year alone, Akismet has stopped over 75,000 — yes 75,000! — spam replies, most of them in the last three months. I know some of them have filtered through, although I tried to block them as well. If anyone has some suggestions, I’m all ears.

I hope you’ve gotten to know me a little better … warts and all. I’ve shared my youth, my 40-year love affair with my wife, my family, my hopes and dreams, my struggles and –I hope — my faith. It’s the last point I hoped to drive home through my words … putting faith into action in everyday life and circumstances. In fact, the most common themes I have written about have been faith, family and relationships — three cornerstones of a balanced life. I’ve also favored posts about memories, Paterson, NJ {my home town}, Maine and prayer … although I am apt to write about anything that trips a trigger in my brain.

I connect with the Fellowship of Christian Bloggers and Five Minute Friday, a five minute blogging flash mob with an amazing group of talented, predominately home-schooling young mothers with insights I never would have imagined. I religiously follow my daughter’s blog, http://www.journeywithd.com/, and am awaiting my son’s new online venture. I love the interaction with my new electronic buddies, TamrahJo, dearanonymousfriend, hairballexpress and Maryanne.

All in all, I think it has been a good year. But it doesn’t matter what I think. It’s what you think that matters.

As I explained in my introductory column, I’ve been writing professionally (getting paid — not much, but getting paid) for 49 years. I’ve covered presidents and other political leaders, bishops and cardinals, professional athletes and everyday people. I’ve been to the White House, the National Cathedral, Yankee Stadium and the Little League World Series in Williamsport, PA. And I never was intimidated. But, as I sit here and put words down on paper — okay, characters on a screen — I still am petrified. I always knew my audience. I knew what they wanted. This time, however, I have no idea who will be reading this or, more important, what they want to read.

I’m starting to get a feel, but I still need feedback. I need suggestions. I need constructive criticism.

What type of posts do you like? What type of posts don’t you like? What would you like to see more of? What would you like to see less of?

A writer writes for his/her audience as well as his or herself. So, your input is welcomed.

THOUGHT TO REMEMBER: Everything happens for a reason.

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