Life, Love and Even Death

For only the fourth time in my life, I am witnessing an actual death watch. It sucks and it’s four times too many.

But the experience(s) are an opportunity to reflect on life, love and even death.

First a caveat. Please, please, please dear family and friends, don’t read between the lines. This is a reflection. This is not despondence. This is about lessons learned. This is not about giving up. This is reality. This is not depression.

Over the past few years, Sonni and I had become very close friends, She was the salve that helped heal a broken heart — not repair it, not fill it, not replace it. She learned from experience and took me under her wing.

10462798_705210946212149_4533542319486351694_nI like to think we were helping each other get through the days of widow- and widower-hood. We talked just about every day — if not directly, then certainly through messaging and e-mail. I knew when something was troubling her. She knew when I got into my “moods.”

In so many ways, Sonni and Karen were cut from the same cloth. They were both strong-willed, independent, organized — yet so very fragile and too stubborn to ask for help. Often those traits got in the way of them enjoying life. They both could come up with a thousand excuses why not to go out, to go on that trip, to just stop for a minute to smell the roses.

I know neither Karen nor Sonni wanted to linger on this earth. When the time was near, they wanted to go out on their terms. No tubes … No extraordinary measures … No extensions if they couldn’t be in charge of their own lives.

I know this because I had that conversation with both of them. It’s a sentiment I share. It’s a sentiment probably most of us share.

So, family and friends, when it becomes my time, let me go. No tubes … No extraordinary measures … No extensions if I can’t be in charge of my own life. I hereby declare my DNR {do not resuscitate} unless there is clear evidence of improvement and/or recovery. Don’t let me hang around because you want me around “just a little longer.” When it’s time to cross the River Jordan, give me a paddle and let me go.

I would tell you not to grieve, but that’s unrealistic. Tears are okay, but just don’t let them overtake your life. I do not want to be mourned. I want my life to be celebrated. In my waning hours, I want to hear laughter … and jokes … and sibling banter. I want to hear “Remember when …”

And I want you to live your lives … every day. Do things that make you happy. Plan for vacations or even impromptu day trips. But, remember, if you go to the Jersey shore for a sausage and pepper sandwich, have one for me.

Life is more than work. It’s relationships. It’s balance. God. Family. Country. The building blocks. Faith. Hope. Love. And the greatest of these is Love. Love each other. Love your neighbors. But, most of all, love yourself. Always remember, you are God’s unique creation.

I’ve lived a good and full life with many adventures. Sometimes it was challenging, but I quickly learned each day starts with a clean slate. What I write on it is entirely up to me. I have very few regrets — in fact I honestly can’t think of one right now, but I’m sure there were some. And I still have a lot to do. I would like to take a cross country car trip, visit both Cooperstown and Akron {Halls of Fame}, take in a baseball game at the new Yankee Stadium, see Phantom of the Opera and Jersey Boys on Broadway, visit Alaska and Hawaii.

The women in my life supported me unconditionally … even when I made questionable choices and reached for seemingly unreachable dreams. To watch that support fade is hard. But I remember the good times we had. I remember the conversations. And I know they have (will) meet the ultimate goal — home with Jesus. C. Scott, I’m sure, will escort his bride to the Throne. And Karen will be there when my time comes to show me how she changed the decor in heaven.

THOUGHT TO REMEMBER: Be free with your compliments. Take time to tell people how much you love them, how much they mean to you. It takes so little effort, yet it makes such a huge difference.

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In the Blink of an Eye — Ogdens What? … 2

Wives, be subject to your husbands as you are to the Lord … Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her…
Ephesians 5: 22, 25

I left the Paterson News to become sports editor at the New Jersey Herald in 1973, although I still worked the night shift.

cartoonMom bought me a puppy – a purebred AKC registered Irish setter. I swore she got ripped off when I held this little puppy who looked nothing like an Irish setter (not even the rust-colored fur) in my hand. But Harrigan grew … and grew .. and grew – not in intelligence but in size. He was so stupid he insisted he could fit under the straight chair and always got stuck. But he loved to run and Joe and Dee liked to play with him. Mom put up with him. He was too big for her taste, so I bought her a schnauzer, which we kept until she nipped at Dee.

Mom was busy landscaping the yard. I remember planting those forsythia twigs for her about every 20 feet or so along the east side of our property. Last time I passed by the house – about 10 years ago or so – those forsythia twigs were full fledged bushes. I procrastinated about finishing off the basement … prompting more of that look whenever Mom backed the car out of the basement garage with a load of laundry on the front hood.

fondueI remember three specific incidents involving Joe and Dee that tugged at your Mom’s heart. The first was Joe’s first day in school in September 1974. He was all dressed up in his checkered pants, white shirt and red sweater, took his lunch box and headed to the street to wait for the school bus. We watched you from the door and Mom just started crying. “My baby,” she whimpered. What a softie!

Another was when Joe independently decided he was running away. I remember it because Mom woke me up to ask me what to do, then looked at me incredulously when I said, “Let him go.” And off he went … to the top of the driveway. He walked down the cul de sac. He came back. He walked the other way past the house. He came back. This went on for about an hour before he walked back into the house to a misty-eyed Mom and announced, “Did you miss me?”

usThe third thing I remember was a phone call I got at work. It seems little Miss Deanna started to sleep walk. It wasn’t a big deal until that night when Mom called me to say she walked out the front door. She scooped her up, brought her back in and tucked her back in bed. The next day we got a new lock, but by the following night she figured out how to open it … and out the door she went. I finally had to get a top-mounted chain to keep her in!

And we became pregnant again.

To be continued …

THOUGHT TO REMEMBER: Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is mystery. Today is a gift.

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Five Minute Friday — Family

I would suggest changing the writing challenge from Five Minute Friday to Five Minute Saturday … Then I thought about it. I probably wouldn’t post until Sunday.

So, I’ll continue to be tardy to my weekly class. It gives me a chance to check out other comments at Kate’s place (http://katemotaung.com/2015/10/01/five-minute-friday-family-day-2/) {although I don’t until after I post … I don’t want to be influenced}.

Anyway, the task at hand is to write unscripted for just five minutes {or so} on a specific prompt. This week it is FAMILY. And, despite a heavy heart because of other personal events this week, the time is set. So, let’s GO

There once was one. He found his mate and there were two. The two created a third … and a fourth … and a fifth … and a sixth … and a seventh. Over the years the five younguns created 18 more … who in turn have created two more.

That’s how a family grows … one by one until a circle is formed. There are times when we fuss and fight, but when any one in the family hurts, we all rally together. Even when we lose a member, they are still there in spirit, never to be forgotten.

Of course, we have other “families” as well. Friends, community, faith partners. They become absorbed into our family structure.  And those circles impact and affect each and every one of us ever widening the circle.

We can’t do without the relationships. We all need the fellowship … STOP

… the love … the support.

As we backtrack, we discover even when there was one, our life was spawned by One other. We are His ripple in the circle of life.

THOUGHT TO REMEMBER: Friends, you and me … You brought another friend … And then there were three … We started our group … Our circle of friends … And like that circle … There is no beginning or end…

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Ogdens What? … 1

Wives, be subject to your husbands as you are to the Lord … Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her…
Ephesians 5: 22, 25

Our first house was a ranch on Private Robert Bulmer Drive at the base of a mountain overlooking a valley and another mountain range in Sussex County. They say Babe Ruth walked the woods hunting there and, at the time, it was just pristine country. Of all our houses, it certainly wasn’t the biggest or best, but it sure had the best location.

mom & kidsAs I said previously, to get into the house we did a lot of the work ourselves. Okay, Mom did most of the work herself. She painted and stained. She cleaned up the contractors’ mess. From day one she put her imprint on that home. My Dad and Arlene Rippey helped with the painting and staining, but it was Mom overseeing the project … to her exacting standards.

I remember the day we closed on the house in late 1973. After a check for the escrow … and another for the taxes … and another for the insurance … and another for the points … and another for, I don’t remember what, we were both in shock. I almost ran out of checks! When we got back in the car, Mom said – as only she could – “What did we just get ourselves into? Are we going to be okay?”

I lied. I said, “Sure we are.” Well, it really wasn’t a lie. It all turned out fine … just don’t ask me how. I guess it was another dose of divine intervention.

But that’s only half the story. We picked up the kids (Joe and Deanna) in Clifton and headed home … our home. Mom and I just held hands as we headed to the wilds of Sussex County. It poured that Thursday in Clifton … it snowed in Ogdensburg … about 10” worth. As we traveled from highway speeds to a crawl, Mom’s hand tightened on mine.

scott christeningThe back of the house faced Main Street and there was only one road into the development. As we passed the house she said, “What are we going to do now?” I answered matter-of-factly, “Drive in there.” (We had the only “sold” house in the development). I got that look.

I stopped at the hill going into the development when, by luck (???), a plow truck showed up and stopped. I got out and told him our situation and he said, “Follow me.” He actually plowed up the hill, around the corner and into the cul de sac … and we followed him to our front door! “I told you,” I said, as she hit me in the arm – hard.

We didn’t have furniture yet, but we managed to keep the kids in the playpen and we “roughed it.” Another magical moment in our young lives.

To be continued…

THOUGHT TO REMEMBER: Learn from the mistakes of others. You can’t live long enough to make them all yourself.

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September 27

Some dates seem to have more significance than others. August 20 — my birthday. August 31 — the day I got married. November 20 — Karen’s birthday. March 25, April 12, May 19, November 4, November 8 — my children’s birth dates.

September 27 — the day my life and my family’s lives changed forever … the day Karen died.

We’ve been through the details before. If you’re interested, just page back to this date over the past three years.

For the most part, I’m doing fine seven years after the fact. I’ve been able to navigate through the early days of widowhood and the ever-expanding realization of life alone. The bright spot is you can get away with more — working late, sneaking snacks, watching what you want on TV, not sharing the covers — but it’s really just a flicker.

Karen and I were married for 40 years. That’s a lot of memories. That’s a lot of togetherness. So, yes, even though I’ve been maneuvering through life for the last seven years, there hasn’t been a day when I haven’t thought of Karen. It’s not melancholy. But the joy of life is dulled. As countless widows and widowers following long relationships can attest, there is a hole in your heart. It closes over the years, but you still wear the scar. And it’s not just the same going through life alone … especially after being yoked together for so many years.

I’ve tried to maintain a relationship with Karen beyond the grave. I’ve maintained many of the traditions we had — like morning coffee and cartoons, flowers once a week {usually a single rose or roses from the garden}, our conversations still.

I certainly miss her. But even more, it saddens me she never got the chance to meet three of her grandchildren or her two great-granddaughters. Even as I move forward, there is a twinge of sadness Karen isn’t sharing those adventures. You can blame her for my fascination with Maine and, while she is there now, it’s inside an urn.

There is a Funky Winkerbean cartoon taped to the file cabinet next to my {her} desk. I look at it every day. Les Moore lost his wife to cancer and he is driving with his daughter Summer. She asks, “Dad … Do you still miss Mom?”

Next frame, Les responds, “There hasn’t been a day. But after a while, you begin to understand …” Jump to frame three. “… That you can’t let your grief become the substitute for the one you love.”

We always kidded each other. I would say “You’re going to miss me when I’m gone” and she would respond, “No, no, no. You’re going to miss me when I’m gone.”

Once again, she was right.

THOUGHT TO REMEMBER: He who loses money, loses much. He who loses a friend, loses much more. He who loses faith, loses all

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Five Minute Friday — Doubt

Look at this. I’m actually making a Five Minute Friday post on Friday. That hasn’t happened in awhile.

Five Minute Friday, of course, is the brainchild of Lisa Jo Baker, who turned the reins over to Kate Motaung a little over a year ago. Here, contributors take a prompt word — this week DOUBT — and write for five minutes. We then share our posts at Kate’s place (http://katemotaung.com/2015/09/24/five-minute-friday-doubt/).

So, here goes. The timer is set, so let’s GO

Have you ever second-guessed yourself? Have you ever questioned someone else’s “facts”?

Of course you have. I know I have many, many , many times.

Doubt is a natural emotion… even when it comes to faith. While I was speaking on wisdom last weekend from the pulpit, I sort of touched on the subject. And it can be a good thing … yes even in matters of faith.

Our gospel reading last week — James 3:13-4:3, 7-8a — shows the merry band of apostles were as clueless as we often are. Jesus is trying to explain His pending crucifixion and resurrection — for the second time — But they did not understand what He meant and were afraid to ask Him about it.

Two thousand years later and nothing has changed.

Instead of trying to figure it out or ask questions of the Lord, the apostles on the road to Capernaum are engaged in an argument about who is the greatest. STOP

Two thousand years later and nothing has changed.

There are far too many Christians who also are often afraid to ask questions for a lot of reasons. Sometimes it’s because they believe they should already know the answer and they don’t want to look dumb. Sometimes it’s because people are nervous their question isn’t “okay,” maybe there is something wrong with their question or with questions in general or maybe questioning itself is a sign of lack of faith.

Wrong on all counts. Questions are not the mark of a lack of intelligence but of a curious and lively spiritual mind. Or as David Lose said, “Faith, in fact, grows in the soil of doubts and challenges. Absent doubt, we may talk of knowledge, but given that faith is ‘belief in things not seen,’ doubt seems to be an essential ingredient.”

Jesus’ wants us to share our questions, our struggles and our doubts so He might help us understand His teaching one on one and in this way draw us closer to God. Perhaps if the apostles had asked, they would have understood more quickly and easily what He was trying to teach.

Perhaps, the same is true of us. If Jesus’ kingdom is understandably difficult to comprehend, we should ask questions. If Jesus’ death seems meaningless or His resurrection hard to accept, we should ask questions. If we wonder how Jesus can be with us or where God is when it hurts, we should ask questions.

I challenged the congregation and I challenge you with an experiment. Write down a question you have about faith, God or the Bible and drop it in with the offering. That’s it. You don’t have to name the question or discuss it or put down your name. Just write down one question you have about Scripture, God or faith and drop it in with the offering. That last part is important. Just as we give God our time, talents and money, so also do we gratefully give God our questions, challenges and doubts. Hopefully our pastors will address those questions, challenges and doubts in weeks to come.

See, questioning with an open mind is a step toward wisdom with a lower case w.

THOUGHT TO REMEMBER: Beautiful young people are accidents of nature, but beautiful old people are works of art.

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In the Blink of an Eye — Pennsylvania Avenue 4

A glad heart makes a cheerful countenance, but by sorrow of heart the spirit is broken… Proverbs 15:13

Like I said, Mom went through post-partum depression and ran herself ragged. Deanna was impossible and didn’t want to sleep anywhere except in her crib. So we never went out. She was also a rocker and put her head through the crib headboard.

usMeanwhile, Joe was being a typical toddler getting into everything – like repainting the living room walls with butter. I was working more, still at night, so Mom would try to keep the kids quiet during the day so I could sleep. It really wore her out physically, mentally and emotionally … and I was helpless. I would do what I could, but I was helpless.

I think it was the prospect of buying our first home that actually lifted her spirits. While covering a game in Sparta in early summer 1972, I noticed a new development going up in Ogdensburg. In my quick math mode, I figured we could probably buy the house for about the same as we paid in rent. How naive. But it was a way out of Paterson and a shot I was willing to take.

The next day, we packed Joe and Dee in the car and up we went to see the area. At that time, the land was just being cleared and there was only one “show home” and a couple of others under construction. We went through the figures and calculations. Since the house was under construction, we could “save” some money by not adding a gambrel roof, doing our own painting, etc. All we needed was about $3,000 down – the equivalent of about $1,000,000 today.

We – I – went through every possible scenario to get our payments in line. If we sold the car … if we scrimped here and there … if we … Mom was less enthusiastic. No, she was actually more realistic. If we sold the car, we would have to get another one. Even if we scrimped and saved, the pennies wouldn’t add up fast enough.

cartoon 2Somehow (divine intervention?), the pieces fell into place. I got an unexpected raise (a whopping 15 cents an hour), found a buyer for the Chevy wagon and a reliable replacement, kept filling our water jug with loose change and culling as many extras from the house as we could (finished basement, painting, landscaping except for some basic seeding, the gambrel roof over the door, etc.). The mortgage application somehow went through. We were going to be new homeowners!

I made sure I was assigned to Sussex County as much as I could so I could keep tabs on the progress of the house. I was scheduled to cover the Sparta-Franklin football game on Thanksgiving morning 1972 … and became one of the tackling dummies on the sideline. It was so cold, I never felt the impact, but as I thawed that day, my back started hurting more and more. So now Mom had three babies to take care of as well as worry about moving and whether this move would take place at all.

She was a trooper. She waited on me hand and foot, got me juice, brought me my meals, just sat with me when she had a chance. As I look back now, it isn’t any different than me taking care of her. I guess she taughserious frontt me a lesson during those six weeks on how to love unconditionally.

We made it through to Ogdensburg, which means this is probably a good place to transition …

serious insideTo be continued …

THOUGHT TO REMEMBER: Great minds discuss ideas. Average minds discuss events. Small minds discuss people.

Posted in Blink of an Eye, family, joy, Karen, love, marriage, Memories, Mom, relationships, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Wisdom From The Father

There is a school of thought that says the devil doesn’t like it when you work for the Lord. He tries his best to sidetrack you … to change the message … to divert your attention.

Well, he went into overdrive over the past 24 hours as I prepared for a trip behind the pulpit at West Fayette Presbyterian Church.

First, as I was putting the finishing touches on the sermon, my program shut down and — of course — a key portion disappeared during recovery.

Then, as I printed out the bulletins, my color ink ran out {not a big problem, just the graphics looked a little weird}. As I printed the readings, the black ink disappeared.

This morning as I got ready to go to church, I put my reading glasses down … and promptly forgot them at home. Fortunately I print my sermon big enough for me to read without the assistive specs.

The copy machine at church wasn’t working and I couldn’t find the cord to hook up my phone for the prelude and postlude music. I couldn’t read the bulletin very well and the hymnal? Forgetaboutit!

I didn’t set up the digital hymnal right and after we {the saintly women from church} got it set up, I stepped on the plug during the second song … so we had to start over.

And that’s all BEFORE we actually got to sermon.

Now, I’m not saying these words scared the beegeebers out of satan, but I know he did quite a bit to derail the message. He didn’t succeed {Can I get an Amen!} See, at our church, we are, should we say, flexible to apparent calamities. We certainly are not perfect … but we are forgiven!

May these words of my mouth and this meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, LORD, my Rock and my Redeemer.

First of all. The title of today’s reflection is not a shameless plug for my blog. Let’s get that straight. Mine is “Wisdom From a Father.” This is “Wisdom From the Father.” That’s “a” like one of many, not “the” like the head honcho, the big guy. So, no plug (wink, wink).

Wisdom is a strange thing. As I started preparing for these words, I was reminded of a story I heard many years ago.

A wise woman who was traveling in the mountains found a precious stone in a stream. The next day she met another traveler who was hungry, and the wise woman opened her bag to share her food. The hungry traveler saw the precious stone and asked the woman to give it to him. She did so without hesitation.

The traveler left, rejoicing in his good fortune. He knew the stone was worth enough to give him security for a lifetime. But a few days later he came back to return the stone to the wise woman.

I’ll come back to the story a little later. Wait for it.

Wisdom. That’s the theme we read about today [Psalm 1; Proverbs 31:10-31; James 3:13-4:3, 7-8a; Mark 9:30-37]. The wisdom to walk with the righteous. The wisdom of the virtuous Proverbs 31 woman. The pure Wisdom that comes from heaven. The wisdom Jesus continually tries to teach His followers.

The characterization of the wise person is summed up in the phrase “fear of the Lord.” This is the beginning of wisdom, and the process by which wisdom matures the individual. Not surprisingly, fear of the Lord also becomes the end of the process.

I hope you were all attentive to Steve’s message last week. He stole some of my thunder, although he emphasized Wisdom with an upper case W … God’s Wisdom. I’m going to focus on wisdom with a lower case w … human wisdom. It’s sort of like the difference between “a” and “the”.

The two certainly are related. Our lower case wisdom should be a reflection of upper case Wisdom. It’s what we seek.

However, we’re not infallible. We’re not omnipotent. We don’t live in an absolute vacuum. We were made in the image of God but we are far from being God. We have limitations God simply does not have.

That doesn’t mean we can’t adapt our thinking to mirror God’s Wisdom. In fact, it is precisely that trait that leads to our understanding.

I always get weary whenever anyone speaks in absolutes on any subject including theology. True, there are immutable laws of nature … or are there?

There was a time when people thought the world was flat … when educated people felt the heavens revolved around the earth … when life expectancy was 20 years in the neolithic age to 31 worldwide in 1900 to 48 in 1950 to 67.2 in 2010.

Over the course of time, we learned — or gained insight or wisdom (lower case w) — that led to remarkable changes. Just look at our lifetime. How is life different today, Sept. 20, 2015, from what it was just 25 years ago, Sept. 20, 1990? Don’t do it now, but look at your cell phone. And when you get home, try to find your land line phone …

This is a sermon, however, not a history lesson, so let’s try to connect the dots spiritually.

Wisdom is referred to from Genesis to 1 John 83 times. That’s just spiritual wisdom with a lower case w. There are 65 references of wisdom (lower case w) coming from God and 24 instances of prayers for spiritual wisdom. There are an addition 38 references to worldly wisdom.

I would say the writers of the biblical texts were trying to capture a message.

Our lower case wisdom is not something we are given. It is something we learn and process as we mature … although I’ve known some pretty wise whipper-snappers in my day. We learn the basics in our formative years as Christians, but it is only when we take the next steps to study God’s words more deeply, to square fact from fiction, to understand the context of the written Word, to recognize faith in action is more important than book faith, to see and appreciate the world around us as God’s creation and its inhabitants as fellow sojourners … perhaps given different circumstances and experiences but fellow travelers on our journey nonetheless. We are all intertwined. That recognition is how our lower case wisdom merges closer to God’s upper case Wisdom.

To be sure, as our gospel reading shows, the merry band of apostles were as clueless as we often are. Jesus is trying to explain His pending crucifixion and resurrection — for the second time — But they did not understand what He meant and were afraid to ask Him about it.

Two thousand years later and nothing has changed.

Instead of trying to figure it out or ask questions of the Lord, the apostles on the road to Capernaum are engaged in an argument about who is the greatest.

Two thousand years later and nothing has changed.

Just so you know, Mark has a tendency to focus on the faults and failings of the disciples. But are we all that different?

There are far too many Christians who also are often afraid to ask questions for a lot of reasons. Sometimes it’s because they believe they should already know the answer and they don’t want to look dumb. Sometimes it’s because people are nervous their question isn’t “okay,” maybe there is something wrong with their question or with questions in general or maybe questioning itself is a sign of lack of faith.

Wrong … on all counts. Questions are not the mark of a lack of intelligence but of a curious and lively spiritual mind. Or as David Lose said, “Faith, in fact, grows in the soil of doubts and challenges. Absent doubt, we may talk of knowledge, but given that faith is ‘belief in things not seen,’ doubt seems to be an essential ingredient.”

Jesus’ wants us to share our questions, our struggles and our doubts so He might help us understand His teaching one on one and in this way draw us closer to God. Perhaps if the apostles had asked, they would have understood more quickly and easily what He was trying to teach. Which leads us to the second half of this week’s passage — greatness does not lie in power but in compassion and it is not achieved by status but by service.

Perhaps, the same is true of us. If Jesus’ kingdom is understandably difficult to comprehend, we should ask questions. If Jesus’ death seems meaningless or His resurrection hard to accept, we should ask questions. If we wonder how Jesus can be with us or where God is when it hurts, we should ask questions.

So here’s an experiment. Write down a question you have about faith, God or the Bible and drop it in with the offering. That’s it. You don’t have to name the question or discuss it or put down your name. Just write down one question you have about Scripture, God or faith and drop it in with the offering. That last part is important. Just as we give God our time, talents and money, so also do we gratefully give God our questions, challenges and doubts.

The best part is Steve gets to answer them.

See, questioning with an open mind is a step toward wisdom with a lower case w.

Which brings us back to our opening story.

“I’ve been thinking,” our man in the story said, “I know how valuable the stone is, but I give it back in the hope you can give me something even more precious. Give me what you have within you that enabled you to give me something more precious. Give me what you have within you that enabled you to give me the stone.”

That, my friends, is a discerning heart. Or in a word … wisdom with a lower case w … born and nurtured from Wisdom with an upper case W.

May we all find that. And the people say, Amen!

Posted in encouragement, God, relationships, sermon, West Fayette Presbyterian, wisdom | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Five Minute Friday — Celebrate

It’s Five Minute Friday time (on Saturday, of course). This week, however, I am going to suspend the rules. I’ll write around the prompt — CELEBRATE — but I know I know I’m not going to stick to five minutes.

However, I do suggest you visit Kate’s place (http://katemotaung.com/2015/09/17/five-minute-friday-celebrate/) to see what the rule-followers had to say on this subject.

So, without the timer constrict, here we go.

There were two distinct issues I wanted to address with the prompt. First, I am back in the pulpit tomorrow at West Fayette Presbyterian Church. So, please lift me up so the words from my mouth bring glory to the Lord. That’s always the challenge as this elder stands behind the pulpit. And the topic is just as challenging … wisdom … more specifically Wisdom From The Father, not to be confused with Wisdom From A Father. Stay tuned.

In the meantime, if anyone is in the West Fayette, NY area (in the Finger Lakes off Route 96A just south of Geneva) at 9 a.m. Sunday, stop in and celebrate with our congregation. We are not big, but we are loving.

Worship should always be a celebration … be it formal or informal. When we come together as a faith community, we are not individuals but a family of believers coming together for a celebration of our faith. This celebration happens at all services — not just Christmas, Easter and weddings. Every gathering is a celebration … a celebration of our beliefs. Even with our doubts and questions, even when we are hurting and/or lost, when we gather, God joins us and celebrates our oneness with Him.

My second take is a celebration of three years on WordPress. My blog officially reached the milestone Sept. 2, and you’ve been putting up with my ramblings for 474 posts. I said it on day one, “I have no idea what I will write about. I have thousands of ideas collected over the years, but sharing those ideas with strangers (who I hope will soon become friends!) is the challenge. That’s where you come in. I need feedback. I need suggestions. I need constructive criticism.”

That still holds true. Through the years, I’ve found my posts about Karen and our relationship to be most widely followed and well received. And I’ve enjoyed writing them. She was the light of my life, the wind under my wings and the best thing that ever happened to me. It’s more than cliches; it’s the reality of 40 years together, cut short because of the Big C.

So I celebrate three years of writing on this platform — part of a 50 year writing career. I hope you have enjoyed the journey from “Don’t Flinch” to the current “In the Blink of an Eye” serial. But I continue to ask for your feedback, suggestions and constructive criticism.

THOUGHT TO REMEMBER: If someone betrays you once, it is his fault; if he betrays you twice, it is your fault.

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In the Blink of an Eye — Pennsylvania Avenue 3

A glad heart makes a cheerful countenance, but by sorrow of heart the spirit is broken… Proverbs 15:13

The other thing I remember most about Pennsylvania Avenue is how we suffered physically and mentally during those couple of years. We were happy being together – now a family of four – but we were never content. After Deanna was born, Mom really went into a post-partum depression. I blame it more on the apartment than the birth. Before we moved, I got hurt and spent about six weeks in agony. I believe it took me more time to heal because of the apartment.

mom and joeThat’s not to say there weren’t joyful times in the apartment … just fewer of them than at any other time in our young married life. There were the birthday parties and watching Joe and Deanna grow. There were times playing cards with the Dicharantis, our downstairs neighbors. There were our friends who came to visit. But nothing stands out as a “memory maker” – at least not happy ones.

There were the hookers who roamed the street near the bowling alley/bar across the street. And the fire that destroyed the bowling alley/bar across the street. Plus the time our upstairs neighbor Farouk threw his wife down the back stairs. Too, there was the time he made a pass at Mom that really freaked her out. Another thing was the drive-by argument when some guy threw his almost naked girlfriend out of the car about three in the morning.

funny frontfunny insideTo be continued …

THOUGHT TO REMEMBER: Anger is only one letter short of danger.

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