Midweek Mirth

One of the misconceptions about being a Christian is non-Christians think we don’t know how to have fun or have a sense of humor. Trust me, if the Big Guy can have a sense of humor when it comes to dealing with us mere mortals, so can we.

The difference for Christians is we don’t have to debase ourselves or others to generate a smile. Laughter at life or ourselves is a gift from God.

So, let’s smile a little!

I know we just celebrated Mother’s Day, but here’s a few thoughts to remember Mom … just because we should every and any day!

Mother’s Dictionary

     Bottle Feeding: An opportunity for Daddy to get up at 2 a.m., too.

     Defense: What you’d better have aroun’ de yard if you’re going to let de children play outside.

     Drooling: How teething babies wash their chins.

     Dumbwaiter: One who asks if the kids would care to order dessert.

     Family Planning: The art of spacing your children the proper distance apart to keep you on the edge of financial disaster.

     Feedback: The inevitable result when the baby doesn’t appreciate the strained carrots.

     Full Name: What you call your child when you’re mad at him.

     Grandparents: The people who think your children are wonderful even though they’re sure you’re not raising them right.

     Hearsay: What toddlers do when anyone mutters a dirty word.

     Impregnable: A woman whose memory of labor is still vivid.

     Independent: How we want our children to be as long as they do everything we say.

     Look Out!: What it’s too late for your child to do by the time you scream it.

     Prenatal: When your life was still somewhat your own.

     Prepared Childbirth: A contradiction in terms.

     Puddle: A small body of water that draws other small bodies wearing dry shoes into it.

     Show Off: A child who is more talented than yours.

     Sterilize: What you do to your first baby’s pacifier by boiling it and to your last baby’s pacifier by blowing on it.

     Storeroom: The distance required between the supermarket aisles so children in shopping carts can’t quite reach anything.

     Temper Tantrums: What you should keep to a minimum so as to not upset the children.

     Thunderstorm: A chance to see how many family members can fit into one bed.

     Top Bunk: Where you should never put a child wearing Superman jammies.

     Two-Minute Warning: When the baby’s face turns red and she begins to make those familiar grunting noises.

     Verbal: Able to whine in words.

     Whodunit: None of the kids who live in your house.

     Whoops: An exclamation that translates roughly into “get a sponge.”

And now for the bonus …

One Solution

A teenage daughter couldn’t muster the will power to lose unwanted pounds. One day, watching a svelte friend walking up the driveway, she lamented, “Linda’s so skinny it makes me sick.”

“If it bothers you,” Mom suggested gently, “why don’t you do something about it?”

“Good idea, Mom,” she replied. Turning to her friend, she called out, “Hey, Linda, have a piece of chocolate cake.”

THOUGHT TO REMEMBER: When we go through hard times we often ask “Why?” but all we need to know really is “Who”… Who is walking right by our side.

About wisdomfromafather

I'm just an ordinary guy walking along the journey of life.
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