Another Birthday

I know there is no time in eternity, but I  have to say, you haven’t aged a day, Sweetheart. You’re even more beautiful today than ever.

Tomorrow is actually you’re birthday, but I couldn’t resist making my usual remark — you caught up to me again!

I was having a hard time figuring out how I would recognize this milestone date. Over the past years, I’ve included some flowery verses, some whimsical sayings and simple I Love Yous. I could do that again this year, but what kept nagging me is whether they actually celebrate birthdays in heaven.

Let’s face it, down here we recognize milestones because we’re constrained by time and space. I’m not sure that’s the case in heaven. Eternity is a milestone. I mean, without the constraints of time and space, how do they measure milestones? I’m sure there is some way and I can envision the choir breaking out in a chorus of Happy Birthday for you and all those born on this earth-constrained day. I just don’t how that happens.

Down here, we do recognize the day you were born and started your journey through life and into my life and the lives of all your touched. And it’s noteworthy, because you were noteworthy.

I was privileged you were given to me as a special gift. I watched you grow from an 18 year old self-doubting girl into a formidable, forceful woman through 40 years of marriage, and leaving a legacy for those of us left behind — a legacy of love. Speaking just for myself, you were my complement. You made me whole. And you are missed.

You had an incredible passion for life, although your early experiences growing up often quelled that fire. You were realistic … I was and still am the dreamer. You saw the glass half empty … I saw it half full. You were prone to worry … I was and still am aloof.

It was precisely this disparity, I think, that made our marriage work. Very few times in our 40 years together were we both approaching life’s situations the same way … or as you would fondly say, “right brain … left brain.” It was your realism that tempered my dreams, just as much as it was my aloofness that quieted — I hope — your fears. We never really decided whether the glass was half full or half empty. Instead we both became grateful we had a glass at all.

Birthdays were never really “special” for us, especially as we meandered into emptying the nest. Baubles and beads were replaced with twosome events — concerts, movies, dinner, weekend trips, and even some football games tossed in. I can’t remember the last time either one of us blew out the candles on a cake. And that’s okay. It was — and still is — a time for the two of us.

I wish I could tell you a hundred times {okay, maybe not a hundred, but a lot} how much I love and loved you. Love, like in respect and appreciation and unfailing. I still do that even though our conversations are one-sided and through a bronze veil.

I wish things were different. I wish you were still here with me physically. I miss teasing you and being teased by you. I miss your smile and even your occasional grumpiness — especially in the dawn’s early light. I miss our time together, exploring new adventures together. But, it’s not. Life has a way of changing expectations.

We had a great ride. That’s why I can still say:

With all my love, Happy, Happy Birthday … For all our yesterdays … Today … and throughout Eternity.


THOUGHT TO REMEMBER: Love is powerful and covers all. 

About wisdomfromafather

I'm just an ordinary guy walking along the journey of life.
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