Happy Anniversary Sweetheart! Another year in the books.

I remember that hot, humid Saturday like it was yesterday — Aug. 31, 1968. It was the day we got married, the day we promised before God, our families, and our friends to be joined forever. Our vows affirmed this unique bonding was “until death do we part”. That’s not entirely true. Even death can’t keep us apart. You still are very real, dear, and close to my heart today … 52 years later.

There were skeptics out there who were sure we wouldn’t survive marriage. We were too different. Our backgrounds, our personalities, our interests were all against us. But as the years started ticking by — one, five, 10, 20, 25, 30, 40 — we showed them. Our differences were pieces in the puzzle.

We thought we would live a fairy tale life. We were going to the chapel — okay, in this case the cathedral — to get married and life would be peaches and cream. We would never have to say good night and leave again.

It didn’t take us long to realize fairy tales are … well, fairy tales. Marriage was hard work and love was not a three letter word {S-E-X}. It meant putting our wants and needs aside to protect, honor and respect our mate. It meant sharing. It meant helping each other. It meant supporting each other. It may not have been a fairy tale, but it was about as close as you come. It’s a commitment not meant for the faint hearted. And it is hard, hard, every day work.

Someone once said marriage was a 50-50 relationship. They were wrong. It’s 100%-100% commitment, and I’m sure on your part, often stretching to 120% and above as you tried to corral my wanderlust and wild ideas. Looking back, I got off easy — I just had to navigate through mood changes. Once I got that down — okay, it took me 40 years — it was smooth sailing.

If I had been allowed  to look into a crystal future ball way back when, I never would have envisioned the life we led, the adventures we took, the blessings we were given — even amid the trials. Of course, the biggest trial was your illness that eventually led to your death shortly after our 40th anniversary.

While I celebrate the 40 years we had together, I am saddened by the almost 12 years I’ve had to navigate without you at my side. It’s been oh so bittersweet these past few years. I can’t help but reflect on the milestones we missed together — the graduations and weddings, the birth of three grandchildren and four great-granddaughters, the move to Maine, my retirement, and publishing Heaven Shining Through, Wisdom From a Father — two volumes — and My Name Is Sam. I’ve muddled through, but it’s just not the same.

There isn’t anything new I can share about our life together that hasn’t already been told, nothing at all. I can only stare at the bronze urn with you patiently waiting for me. There are some tears in my eyes — happy tears for the memories and sad tears for the separation. So I thought I would share and celebrate you through photos this anniversary day. It was such a great ride … gone in the blink of an eye.

THOUGHT TO REMEMBER: There are only two days in the year that nothing can be done. One is called yesterday and the other is called tomorrow, so today is the right day to love, believe, do, and mostly live — Dalai Lama

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