One of the misconceptions about being a Christian is non-Christians think we don’t know how to have fun or have a sense of humor. Trust me, if the Big Guy can have a sense of humor when it comes to dealing with us mere mortals, so can we.
The difference for Christians is we don’t have to debase ourselves or others to generate a smile. Laughter at life or ourselves is a gift from God.
So, in the spirit of Thanksgiving, let’s smile a little!
Classic Thanksgiving Questions
Why did the police arrest the turkey? — They suspected it of foul play!
Which side of the turkey has the most feathers? – The outside!
Can a turkey jump higher than the Empire State Building? — Yes. A building can’t jump at all!
If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring? — Pilgrims!
What type of music did the Pilgrims like? — Plymouth Rock!
Why did the turkey cross the road? — It was the chicken’s day off!
What key has legs and can’t open doors? — A turkey!
What’s the best thing to put into pumpkin pie? — Your teeth!
What did the mother turkey say to her disobedient children? — If your father could see you now, he’d turn over in his gravy!
Why do Pilgrims have trouble keeping their pants up? — ‘Cause they wear their belts on their hats!
What is the turkey’s favorite black tie celebration? — The Butter Ball.
When is a turkey most like a ghost? — When it’s a-gobblin’.
Groan! But wait! There’s more … the bonus!
What Turkeys Need To Know But Don’t
By limiting your corn intake to 175 kernels a day, you can lose 13 pounds or three hours baking time, whatever the case may be.
There is no such thing as the friendly ax-man.
Hiding inside old Jack-O-Lanterns never works.
Running helps you lose weight, but you will never fly, ever.
Stop writing to Benjamin Franklin; he’s dead, and you lost that national symbol argument long ago.
No one buys the “you can’t eat a turkey with glasses routine.”
If anyone asks you about your drumstick size, be afraid; be very afraid.
Sweet corn meal is NOT low in calories. Stop eating it.
Pretending to be “just a chicken” is not very smart.
If there are not pigs or geese on your farm, you should probably worry about Christmas as well.
Have a great Thanksgiving!
THOUGHT TO REMEMBER: Tread softly, Breathe peacefully, Laugh hysterically. — Nelson Mandela