Midweek Mirth

One of the misconceptions about being a Christian is non-Christians think we don’t know how to have fun or have a sense of humor. Trust me, if the Big Guy can have a sense of humor when it comes to dealing with us mere mortals, so can we.

The difference for Christians is we don’t have to debase ourselves or others to generate a smile. Laughter at life or ourselves is a gift from God.

So, in the spirit of Thanksgiving, let’s smile a little!

Classic Thanksgiving Questions

Why did the police arrest the turkey?  — They suspected it of foul play!

Which side of the turkey has the most feathers?  – The outside!

Can a turkey jump higher than the Empire State Building?  — Yes. A building can’t jump at all!

If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring?  — Pilgrims!

What type of music did the Pilgrims like?  — Plymouth Rock!

Why did the turkey cross the road?  — It was the chicken’s day off!

What key has legs and can’t open doors?  — A turkey!

What’s the best thing to put into pumpkin pie?  — Your teeth!

What did the mother turkey say to her disobedient children? —  If your father could see you now, he’d turn over in his gravy!

Why do Pilgrims have trouble keeping their pants up?  — ‘Cause they wear their belts on their hats!

What is the turkey’s favorite black tie celebration?  — The Butter Ball.

When is a turkey most like a ghost?  — When it’s a-gobblin’.

Groan! But wait! There’s more … the bonus!

What Turkeys Need To Know But Don’t

By limiting your corn intake to 175 kernels a day, you can lose 13 pounds or three hours baking time, whatever the case may be.

There is no such thing as the friendly ax-man.

Hiding inside old Jack-O-Lanterns never works.

Running helps you lose weight, but you will never fly, ever.

Stop writing to Benjamin Franklin; he’s dead, and you lost that national symbol argument long ago.

No one buys the “you can’t eat a turkey with glasses routine.”

If anyone asks you about your drumstick size, be afraid; be very afraid.

Sweet corn meal is NOT low in calories. Stop eating it.

Pretending to be “just a chicken” is not very smart.

If there are not pigs or geese on your farm, you should probably worry about Christmas as well.

Have a great Thanksgiving!

THOUGHT TO REMEMBER: Tread softly, Breathe peacefully, Laugh hysterically. — Nelson Mandela

About wisdomfromafather

I'm just an ordinary guy walking along the journey of life.
This entry was posted in midweek mirth and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Midweek Mirth

  1. I’m used to eating biltong,
    or what you Yanks call jerky;
    thus, my Thanksg9ving song:
    “I’m glad I’m not a turkey.”
    He surely is a noble bird,
    although he cannot fly,
    and in the light of Franklin’s word,
    why is it, he must die?

    This is as far as Anrdew could go today. Please hold him in your prayers.

I'd love to hear your thoughts on this subject!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s