Problem Solved

Last year a guy entered the Cal State marathon. The race started and immediately he was the last of the runners. It was embarrassing. The guy who was in front of him, second to last, was making fun of him. He said, “Hey buddy, how does it feel to be last?” The guy replied, “You really want to know?” Then he dropped out of the race.

And now for the bonus …

Five Real-Life Dimwit Stories

AT&T fired President John Walter after nine months, saying he lacked intellectual leadership. He received a $26 million severance package. Perhaps it’s not Walter who’s lacking intelligence.

Police in Oakland, CA, spent two hours attempting to subdue a gunman who had barricaded himself inside his home. After firing 10 tear gas canisters, officers discovered the man was standing beside them in the police line, shouting, “Please come out and give yourself up.”

An Illinois man, pretending to have a gun, kidnapped a motorist and forced him to drive to two different automated teller machines, where the kidnapper proceeded to withdraw money from his own bank accounts.

A man walked into a Topeka  (KS) Kwik Stop and asked for all the money in the cash drawer. Apparently, the take was too small, so he tied up the store clerk and worked the counter himself for three hours until police showed up and grabbed him.

Police in Los Angeles had good luck with a robbery suspect who just couldn’t control himself during a lineup. When detectives asked each man in the lineup to repeat the words: “Give me all your money or I’ll shoot,” the man shouted, “That’s not what I said!”

THOUGHT TO REMEMBER: Trust doesn’t mean you trust someone won’t make mistakes — it means you trust them even when they do mess up.