There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear … 1 John 4:18a
Grandma Simpson eventually moved in with us on Peterman Road, a move I initiated and Mom didn’t always embrace. Grandma could be — well, let’s say — caustic and hurtful at times and your mother took these comments personally and to heart.
Grandma Siccardi took a turn for the worse and died just as we were getting ready to close on the house/motel in Willard in August 1998. Watching my Mom die was difficult, but your mother saw it differently. She had some alone time with my Mom and they were able to settle any differences they had. Mom never told me what they talked about, but they both seemed more at peace.
Going through her journal, here is what she wrote Sept. 9, 1998:
It’s been almost three weeks since my mother-in-law 
died. These past five weeks are a blur. Mom died, we moved, Uncle George died two weeks to the day after Mom. We bought a house with motel units, the paper isn’t making money … now we have a mortgage to meet and taxes. Joe’s wedding is coming up … rapidly. I have no clue how we’ll meet all these responsibilities but I also know God does.
Watching Mom die was difficult but her concern for others — even at the end — amazed me. She was dying but she was worried about everyone else.
At night I would sit outside and watch the miracle of life in the birds, trees and flowers. Somehow it seemed to balance out everything of the day. After watching Mom slip away during the day, some hope and peace would be found in the miracle of a bird catching his dinner … watching the squirrels frolic on the lawn … seeing the colors of fall appear each day. Somehow I knew God was still in control.
To be continued …
THOUGHT TO REMEMBER: The optimist sees the rose and not its thorns; the pessimist stares at the thorns, oblivious to the rose. — Kahlil Gibran
The Light 
Beautiful! Remembering the gifts when the you-know-what-in-Life’s-cycles-hits-the-fan, well, if we are lucky enough to live long enough, we’ll walk through the losses and challenges and remembering/recognizing gifts can be our saving grace.
I’ve observed it’s often hard for our species to separate our tendency to want to care for loved ones, from the perspective wishes of those we decided were our responsibility/duty/chosen loved one
(Deja vu, big time! so sorry if repeating myself from comment on one of your posts from over a year ago….)…
…Sometimes, it’s hard to keep our chin up while dealing with unexpected – and while our own adjustment to reality occurs.
We may, curse or complain, nag or try to control, manipulate or entice those in our circle to board our version of Guilt Trip Flight 101, just cuz we are too overloaded and would like one area of Life to come close to what we want, Right NOW!
Too fearful to say to same folks, “Yes, I hear what you’re saying, but can you give me a little more adjusting-my-view time?”
But you’re right, God, in his infinite, all-seeing, wisdom is the place I go to rest at night and say, “I messed up today! BUT Seriously! (whine) do I hafta to do this, just now? FINE!…. Okay, okay, will work on it….”
Unless I’ve really dropped the ball during the day, thenI like to take the easy way out…
By pleading with Archangel Gabriel “Can you take up perimeter watch? Can you tell the Boss I’m trying, but just not good enough to flip on a dime to a different implementation time? – Thank You! I’m going to rest and ponder upon it, and will show back up for my duty-station when I wake up.”
🙂
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Thank you.
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