Back Home

Well, Karen is back inside, sitting comfortably {I hope} on the mantel. I actually carried her in about a week ago, but I’ve really been so busy with my real writing {as opposed to my fun writing, these blogs} I didn’t get the chance to let you guys know her whereabouts.

As you might remember, I bring her urn outside to the gazebo for the summer and back inside for the winter. Surprisingly, it was just about the same time last year. The actual moving day was Oct. 27. This year it was Oct. 30. Both years, I had planned on leaving her outside a week or two longer, but high expected high winds last year caused me to reconsider, while the absence of morning light to read by prompted the move this year. It was hard to read and reflect while holding my phone with the flashlight ap on.

For those who don’t remember the history, Karen and I {mostly Karen} dealt with most end of life issues while she was still with us. She picked out our urns — matching bronze side by side connected by interlocking circles — and we made pre-planned funeral arrangements. What we didn’t do was decide on a final resting place. Karen wanted me to pick a spot so the kids could ultimately visit if they so desired. I wasn’t willing to do anything so … permanent.

After she died, I made a special place for her on the mantel of our electric fireplace — despite her admonition of not wanting to be placed on the mantel.  And I purchased a gazebo {after a disaster trying to build one myself}. Each spring since, I moved her outside. Each fall, she would return inside for the winter and so on.

IMAG0339Each morning, I go either outside or into the living room to have my coffee and breakfast with Red. I still continue to share a cartoon. Each week I bring her a rose, sometimes coupled with the blooms from our own rose garden. And I have laughed with her, cried with her and talked to her. She may not be with me in the flesh, but I sense her spirit — and her counsel — even after five years. In fact, she would probably say I’ve talked to her more since she died than when she was alive.

I do miss her … her smile … her wit … her empathy … her laughter … even her tears and temper. But life goes on for the living and the best way I can honor the 40 years we had is to share some of those moments. You can never take away the memories.

So we’re back inside. The “fire” has been stoked. The mantel has been rearranged. And life is as “normal” as it can be.

This is still her “home” so I’m comfortable with the decision I’ve made. If the kids or grandkids want to spend some time with her, she’s here. And when I’m gone, my ashes will rest next to hers and I’ll leave the decision of where we permanently settle up to the kids.

THOUGHT TO REMEMBER: It’s foolish to work up a head of steam unless you know what’s cooking.


About wisdomfromafather

I'm just an ordinary guy walking along the journey of life.
This entry was posted in family, Memories and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

7 Responses to Back Home

  1. Randee says:

    This is so sweet.

  2. ..this ever warmed my heart…your love spills out of every word. Karen truly was a beautiful “lady” and obviously a very lucky one…indeed.

  3. Judy Young says:

    Very nice… You are an awesome man

    Sent from my iPad


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