Five Minute Friday — Hold

Posted on October 16, 2020 by wisdomfromafather

Ready for this week’s Five Minute Friday adventure?

Five Minute Friday is, of course, and exercise where about 100 of us in the FMF community come together to independently write on a one-word prompt — this week HOLD — post it, link it at  fiveminutefriday.com then gather round to encourage and support our fellow Christian writers, each writing in their own unique style and genres.

I’ve also been including snippets from Five Minute Friday: A Collection of Stories Written in Five Minutes Flat compiled by Susan Shipe. They are a testament to the value of the exercise. This week, I’ll share some perspective from Cheryl, who I hope inspires you to check us out or, better yet, encourage you to try your hand at focused, unscripted writing for just five minutes. And share it on the website.

“FMF has been a source of encouragement for me. I have looked forward to Thursday nights and finding out the word for the day. [It’s released on the Five Minute Friday website and at a special #fmfparty Twitter party.] Once I have the word, I mull it over thinking about what I could possibly write. More often than not, the word has been a perspective changer giving me a chance to think bigger about life and my current circumstances. Not only have I been encouraged by the words of the many other FMF writers as they comment on my writing. FMF is not just about linking my posts but about being part of something much bigger.”

Well, it time to start the timer, so let’s GO …

If I was able to go back in time and write myself a letter as a teenager, I think the message would have been simple. Hold on! This is going to be one wild ride!

Looking back, I would tell my future self to expect ups and downs, triumphs and failures, success and loss, love and heartbreak. It’s all part and parcel of the path we take on this journey called life.

It wouldn’t necessarily have been written to scare me into making “right” choices, but rather to caution a younger me about the vagaries of life. Expect the unexpected, but, at the same time, embrace the unexpected. I would have told myself to find an Anchor. I would have told myself to be true to myself. I would have told myself to hold on to my principles.

That’s what experience has taught me. That would have been my message, There were some pits I fell into but not too many. The key was learning how to navigate through them, … STOP

… to learn from them.

Maybe that was the message I carried without the benefit of experience. While I readily admit I sometimes made, let’s say, less than wise decisions, none of them ignored the essence of who I was and who I’ve become. Faith was a key element. Family was an integral element. A calmness stemming from those two anchors was an integral element. A wllingness to learn and attempt things outside my comfort zone was an integral element.

Yes, as I look back, it would have been nice to hold onto a road map for the journey, but my early me doesn’t look a lot different than my present me.

THOUGHT TO REMEMBER: You are somebody’s reason to smile.

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Words on Wood

Posted on October 15, 2020 by wisdomfromafather

There are two plaques sitting on a table in my living room. Both were sent by my daughters and await a spot on the wall — when I decide which wall. Until last week, they served as hard table top on a makeshift box end table and a laptop stand while working. Long story, not particularly interesting … just another example of my penchant for procrastination.

The first is a little whimsical albeit still delivering a message. “MOTTO TO LIVE BY: Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, wine in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and screaming “WOO HOO, what a ride!” “

I think that will go on the short wall separating my living room with the kitchen as a reminder during my many trips through the portal.

That is a motto I try to embody. We can live safe, neat lives … or we can LIVE.  I’m not suggesting abusing life, but I do suggest living … with chocolately hands and a good merlot, aching back from  bending down to smell the roses, with six digits — cumulatively seven digits — on the odometer, sharing in the complexities of life, visiting with family and friends, embracing our experiences while welcoming each new adventure, too tired to go on because of zest for life and not because we played it safe. I would like my last words to echo the last phrase — “Woo Hoo, what a ride!”

The second plaque is a lot deeper. It says, “You have changed the world because YOU have TOUCHED our lives.”

I think that will be placed on the wall adjacent to the front door as a daily reminder of a goal, a legacy, if you will, my legacy.

I don’t profess to have changed the world, but I do hope, in some small measure, my words and actions will touch lives positively.

One of the issues I’ve been facing is the legacy I will leave behind. I like to think it will be positive, as reflected in my writing and outreach. Whenever I pen a blog post … or share a message on social media as I do daily … or offer messages of hope {and sometimes with sarcastic humor} to family and friends, I try to focus on the positives and encourage all to look Up. I try to be the conduit and soften hearts to be receptive to the love of the God I know.

Don’t read anything into this post or between the lines, but the adventures of the past year have focused on my mortality. I am hopeful there will be many more years of blogging and sharing, but I’m also cognizant, as a septuagenarian, there is more sand in the bottom of the hourglass than on the top. And only the One who knows how many granules are left is my Lord.

I hope to be sharing my thoughts and my faith for many moons to come, but my heart beats to a little happier rhythm knowing my legacy doesn’t have an expiration date. It will live forever through my children and their children and their children’s children and my friends and their friends and their friends’ friends.

THOUGHT TO REMEMBER: Once we believe in ourselves we can risk curiosity, wonder, spontaneous delight or any experience that reveals the human spirit. — E.E. Cummings

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Smile Time

Posted on October 14, 2020 by wisdomfromafather

One of the misconceptions about being a Christian is non-Christians think we don’t know how to have fun or have a sense of humor. Trust me, if the Big Guy can have a sense of humor when it comes to dealing with us mere mortals, so can we.

The difference for Christians is we don’t have to debase ourselves or others to generate a smile. Laughter at life or ourselves is a gift from God.

Here’s this week’s edition of Midweek Mirth  … so let’s smile a little!

Smile

The old cynic W. C. Fields once said, “Smile first thing in the morning — and get it over with.”

… and now for the bonus …

Just Desserts?

A truck driver who was being heckled by several members of a motorcycle gang at a diner calmly finished his lunch, paid his check and walked out without responding to their taunts. “Not much of a man,” one of the bikers said to the waitress after the trucker had left.

With an amused smile, the waitress responded, “He’s not much of a driver, either. He just ran over a bunch of motorcycles out in the parking lot.”

THOUGHT TO REMEMBER: “Love is a song that never ends.” — Bambi

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Reviews … Reviews … Reviews …

Posted on October 13, 2020 by wisdomfromafather

 

An indie author friend of mine was commiserating about a lack of credible reviews on her book. I can feel her angst. I wonder about that all the time.

It was highlighted this week when I saw a book share from a very good friend. It was released just in June and already had 467 ratings. It was published by a high profile publishing house, complete with hype and a cadre of reviewers. I’ve a grand sum of 55 spanning four books since March 2018. My friend, who independently published in August this year, has just two reviews.

Part of the disparity, of course, is the publishing choice you make. Most of my reviews came for my novella, Heaven Shining Through, which was published through Xulon Press. Indies face bigger challenges because we have to rely on our own circles to generate input — which really is what reviews are.

As writers, we tend to think our silvery words are the best ever written. As poets, we hope our words move people. As fictional writers, we hope our stories entertain. As non-fictional writers, we hope our words inspire. But what we hope for is immaterial without feedback. As I’ve said before, even negative feedback — low rating — matters. As writers we can grow or refine our style, correct flaws in substance, be encouraged to continue to share our minds with a greater audience.

As much as I like 5 star reviews, I worry when that’s all I see in my work and in other’s books. I appreciate 3 star and 4 star reviews as well, and, although I’ve received very few 1 star (actually I never have) and 2 star reviews (just one), I learned from them. As an example, I received a 2 star review on Heaven Shining Through because the reader felt the characters “lacked development” and “should have been a novel.” That’s how My Name Is Sam … and Heaven Is Still Shining Through was born.

To answer my friend’s question, I mentioned the first line for receiving reviews comes from your circle of family and friends. But it has to go deeper than that because, most of the people in your family and friend circle are also in your circle. I found author sites … and joined. I researched reviewers … and contacted them with an invitation to read my work. I developed  a contact list of anyone who has expressed interest in my work, be in on my blog or social media platforms. I continue to seek out new venues. I also have a file full of “thanks, but no thanks” from potential reviewers because of genre or time or some other reason.

As I told my friend, the answer to how do you get reviews is hard work, persistence, exploring every option available. That’s all part and parcel of — oh, how I dislike this word — marketing.

It’s hard, exhausting work … and it can be extremely frustrating.

I would love to say my circles — your circles — work. Many of my followers have read my books; some have posted reviews. Many others, however, have not. In my wishful moods, I often wonder the trajectory my writing might take if all of my 3,433 followers (1,120 blog, 1,324 Twitter, and 989 Facebook) read any or all of my books and posted a review … Wow! In addition, those 3,433 followers expand exponentially since most have a different circle.

Plug! Plug! I do have four books in my catalogue. First was the novella, Heaven Shining Through, followed by the novel My Name Is Sam … and Heaven Is Still Shining Through. Both are available as e-books and paperbacks, and Sam is also available as an audiobook through Audible. In addition, there are two collections of short stories, Wisdom From a Father … one dad’s thoughts on life. Volume 1 was released just about a year ago, and Volume 2 was released just last week. Both are also available as e-books and paperbacks.

 So, once again, consider a review … for one of my books or another book you’ve read.

THOUGHT TO REMEMBER: It’s the possibility of having a dream come true that makes life interesting. — Paulo Coelho

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To Know and Not To Do

Posted on October 12, 2020 by wisdomfromafather

I like what a Buddhist monk once said. “To know and not to do is not yet to know.”

To translate that into Christian terminology it could be, “To believe and not to act is not yet to believe.” In other words, if I say I believe without Christ people are eternally lost, and never do anything to point or even to help point others to Christ, do I really believe people without Christ are lost? And if I say I believe Jesus is coming again and the lost will be left behind, and I never do anything to help point them to Christ, do I really believe Jesus is coming again and the non-Christians will be left behind?

So I agree with the monk who said, “To know and not to do is not yet to know.”

This is from the ACTS International’s Global Communications Outreach, which promotes being an effective “Andrew” type witness for Christ by becoming an ACTS People Power for Jesus Partner.

THOUGHT TO REMEMBER: The people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world are the ones who do.

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The Road That Makes All the Difference

Posted on October 11, 2020 by wisdomfromafather

Our reflection this week is by Traci Rabenstein, director of Mission Advancement for the Church of the Brethren.

Then Jesus was led by the Spirit into the wilderness to be tempted by the devil. — Matthew 4:1

During my junior and senior years in high school, I joined speech club. We would select readings (whether original pieces or stories, published articles, or famous poetry) to present for a panel of judges who would critique our delivery. Competitions were placed in categories, and the one I fell in love with, and participated in the most, was poetry reading.

While in speech club, I found Robert Frost. He had a few poems published in the U.S. in the late 19th and early 20th centuries, but it wasn’t until his family moved to England that he wrote and published two books of poetry that were successful immediately. In 1915, he returned to New England and continued to write. He won four Pulitzer Prizes for poetry and became the Poet Laureate Consultant for Poetry for the Library of Congress from 1958-59. He recited his poem The Gift Outright at the 1961 inauguration of President John F. Kennedy. Out of all his work, my favorite was (and still is) The Road Not Taken.

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;
 
Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,
 
And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.
 
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I —
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

In the September 2015 issue of the Paris Review online magazine, David Orr wrote a review of the poem in which he said, “Most readers consider The Road Not Taken to be a paean to triumphant self-assertion … but the literal meaning of the poem’s speaker tells us … the road he will later call less traveled is actually the road equally traveled. The two roads are interchangeable.”

I see parallels of this in my own journey. There are times when I stand before two decisions, two roads, and have to determine which one to take. Sometimes, after making a decision and heading down one pathway, I wonder what might have been if I had made the opposite decision. Would it have been easier to travel on the other road?

Over the past several months, we have found ourselves on a road not traveled often. One where we have had to shelter-in-place, wear masks when we are in public places, and learn how to stay connected in new, virtual ways as families and congregations. For some, this has been a season of slowing down and reflecting, taking time to identify what is most important. Some of us have been taking measures to slow down after realizing the pace we had been living pre-pandemic was not the road we necessarily wanted to be on.

I’ve also been thinking about the road Christ journeyed. In the 40 days after Jesus’ baptism, He traveled into the wilderness and was tempted by Satan. Matthew and Luke provide examples of how Satan tried to entice Jesus into revealing Himself as God’s Son before the appointed time. I marvel at the willpower He had as someone who had been fasting and wandering alone in such a solitary place. Satan tried to divert Him to another path, but He stayed the course of preparing for what was to come and taking the road “less traveled.”

In our own lives, when the hardships of humanity seem to hold us back, pressuring us to take “the other (road), as just as fair / And having perhaps the better claim / Because it was grassy and wanted wear,” we can look to the temptation of Jesus. From Him we find how to address the stresses of life, face daily temptations, and find solace.  By following the path of Christ, we remain near to God and find strength and hope to stay in tune with His will and recognize His movements in our lives. This is the road, the “one less traveled by,” that makes all the difference.

The Office of Mission Advancement works to cultivate passion for the missions and ministries of the Church of the Brethren.  If you have any questions or if there is any way it can support you in this season, please reach out to MA@brethren.org.

THOUGHT TO REMEMBER: Above all, be the heroine of your own life, not the victim. — Nora Ephron

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Folded Hands

Posted on October 10, 2020 by wisdomfromafather

As we build this community prayer platform, we ask the Lord to listen to our petitions with full confidence they not only are heard but acted upon by God according to His holy will. These requests are on my prayer list and I hope you consider putting them on yours as you place your petitions before the Lord Sunday.

Approach the throne room and respond with faith and not fear, knowing the promises of God and His mighty hand will hold us through any situation! Sometimes, all it takes is just one prayer to change everything. Something extraordinary happens when two or more agree together in prayer.

What is one of the most important things we should do as Christians? Praying at all times in the Spirit, with all prayer and supplication. To that end, keep alert with all perseverance, making supplication for all the saints (Ephesians 6:18).

And, so, Lord, we come to You with our petitions, knowing and expecting Your will to be done.

Thoughts and prayers to all worldwide suffering from the consequences of coronavirus flu – and all other strains. Many – many – of the prayer requests are covid-19 related … people diagnosed … people sick … people dying … relatives worried and isolated. We are in this together – in prayer!

Please keep the victims of household abuse in your prayers. Whether it be physical, emotional, sexual or neglect, this time in particular is very horrifying for them to be trapped in a house with their abuser(s) and not being able to escape.

We also need to pray for colorblind peace. Racism will remain a plague until we stop looking at people as black and white, but as human beings created by the same Creator. We pray for new eyes, calmer heads, and softer hearts. 

Special prayer requests have been made for orphanages in Kenya, Pakistan, Bangladesh, and right here in the United States. The need is real.

Financial issues were also high on the prayer lists with millions still out of work. Sustain those who are hurting financially. Give us and them our daily bread.

Natural disasters continue. Keep those in the path of fires and storms safe and focused on You, Lord.

Janel tripped at the top of her set of five steps and landed on her tailbone on the way down. Apparently she passed out as she got up. She has a huge bruise on her lower back and tailbone makes it very uncomfortable to sit. Her blood pressure is still a little low, but she insists it is nothing too concerning. I think we should keep her in our prayers.

Rebecca asked for prayers for her family.

Please pray for Richard as he attempts to stay off drugs and give his life completely to the Lord.

Please pray for Drasko. The Lord will know the details.

Please pray for Preston who just went to rehab after a major relapse.

Please pray for Elizabeth who is really struggling mightily right now. Really really needs prayers for her emotional state.

Please pray for Emily as she starts her new job.

Please pray for Joe who is struggling with anxiety and worry.

Jennifer is asking for prayer for her three children.

Please pray for Dominik and Sarah who are struggling spiritually.

 Please pray for Honey who is struggling mightily after an operation that did not go well.

Please pray for S who is in extreme danger. The Lord will know her details.

Mike’s grandson is in intensive care. He has not received a name yet. Please pray for him.

Please pray for 88 year old Joyce as she recovers from a bad fall.

Please pray for Illyria who is 11 years old and has gone through a mental breakdown for the second time in a month. Please pray for her and her mother.

Please pray for Gunny who goes through major ups and downs because of health issues.

Amy is really struggling with her health. Please pray.

Please pray for Eric who is facing some serious health challenges.

Please pray for David who had a heart attack.

Please pray for Brian who has been estranged and has strained relations with family members over his political views.

Please pray for Charlee. She is 18 and battling severe depression.

Please pray for E who is in need of major hurdles and obstacles to be removed in order for her to receive proper treatment for a debilitating health condition.

Please keep praying for Ruth who has a myriad of health issues and complications. The kidney she was to receive was not suitable for transplant. This is a very hard time for her and the family. Please pray for peace.

Pray for Chris’ anger to be soothed and to conquer his demons.

After 12 years, Ann must find a new.job … the one she has is beyond toxic and it has been for years.  Please pray the new job she is going to is not blocked by the current job. Pray for a smooth transition, peace, longevity, and favor on the new.

Pray for Kathleen’s  lungs to get healthy and a loss of weight.

Please pray for Doron who suffers from daily depression and anxiety and refuses to seek help. He does take medication daily.

Kindly pray for Shalini. She has kidney failure and breathing problem and has become very weak. She has taken blood tests, please pray for her reports to be normal.

Prayer asked for Gyanville who has been mentally ill for a year and a half. He needs healing to recover back to normal and is only 19 years old.

Carol is not feeling well and could use some uplifting in prayer.

Keep Andrew in your prayers as he continues to fight the fight. He contacted me the other day. Things continue to deteriorate. Prayers. Prayers. Prayers.

There were a host of unspoken prayer requests and we heard of a number of deaths this week. Prayers for their families as they go through this earthly trial. We grieve … heaven rejoices.

We come to You, Lord, because prayer is the least yet the greatest thing we can do for each other. When two or more are gathered in Your name, we confidently know You are with us. What better company can we have? You reign and we trust You! We may be broken and battered but know You heal and quiet the soul. You are the source for all that happens in our lives. We thank You for the progress being made. We thank You for the many blessings we have received this week. Some we unfortunately didn’t notice. Nonetheless, those blessings are ever-present in our lives. We thank You for healing. We thank You for slowing us down. We thank You for providing us our daily needs — no more and no less. We thank You for being with us, listening to us, walking with us on this journey. We thank You for the support of our family and friends … for seeing the extraordinary in the ordinary — sunrises, sunsets, flowers, kids laughing, adventures, good news amid the bad news. We know we can come to You with our concerns and they will be heard. Through Christ all things are possible. We lift up those family members and friends who are battling various physical, emotional, financial, career or spiritual issues and ask not for Your guidance and healing (although that would be welcomed) but to keep reminding us we are not alone in our battles. Specifically we lift up Janel, Rebecca, Richard, Drasko, Preston, Elizabeth, Emily, Joe, Jennifer, Dominick, Sarah, Honey, S, Mike’s grandson, Joyce, Illyria, Gunny, Amy, Eric, David, Brian, Charlee, E, Ruth, Chris, Ann, Kathleen, Doron, Shalini, Gyanville, Carol, Andrew, and all those needing Your healing and guiding touch. We pray for the families of all those You have called home. We grieve … You celebrate. We pray for obedience to Your Will so Your “Son” Light shines through us through the power of the Spirit. And we come to You through the confidence of the words taught by Your Son Jesus. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

Keep your joys and concerns coming. They have been and will be included during my prayer time and I trust they will be on your lips as well as you approach the altar. All it takes is a couple of keystrokes under the “Contact Me” button on the top bar {or to the right if you’re not a follower yet}. I hope it becomes your best friend as you navigate around the site so we can all be viable prayer warriors. You can also comment or reach me at wisdomfromafather@gmail.com.

THOUGHT TO REMEMBER: I do believe we’re all connected. I do believe in positive energy. I do believe in the power of prayer. I do believe in putting good out into the world. And I believe in taking care of each other. – Harvey Fierstein

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Five Minute Friday — Help

Posted on October 9, 2020 by wisdomfromafather

The Five Minute Friday assignment is to write for five minutes on a prompt word, post it and share with fellow Five Minute friends at  fiveminutefriday.com. Around 100 of us gather round to encourage and support our fellow Christian writers, writing in a variety of styles and genres. It’s always very interesting to see how a simple word take shape into posts. Sometimes it’s obvious, sometimes not as much, but always entertaining. Be sure to stop in and read the diversity of thought at Kate’s place, starting at the Community sectiom. And don’t be afraid to join in!

I’ve been sharing snippets taken from Five Minute Friday: A Collection of Stories Written in Five Minutes Flat. They are a testament to the value of the exercise. The 150 blog posts were compiled from the community by Susan Shipe. The stories span a diverse range of experiences, but share a common thread: a love for the bravely written word.

This week, I’ll share some perspective from Rachel, who I hope inspires you to check us out or, better yet, encourage you to try your hand at focused, unscripted writing for just five minutes. And share it on the website.

“I was new to this whole blogging world when I came across Five Minute Friday from Lisa-Jo Baker’s place [the originator of the exercise]. I knew nothing about link-up’s, how to do it or even much about Twitter. But the FMF community was so welcoming and no question was ever dismissed or laughed at but the ladies [and gents] just jumped in and were quick to give me the ‘how-to’s’ with step by step instructions and wham-bam … there I am … instant friends and connections that link across the miles. I look forward each week to connect back with the girls [and guys] and read what they have to say. They’re my Five Minute gang and I look forward to catching up with them every Friday!”

The word this week is HELP. The clock is starting, so let’s GO …

“I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!” (Mark 9:24)

The exorcism story was certainly more profound than our daily prayer, but how many times have you said the same thing? I know I often say “I believe! Help my unbelief.”

Belief  — faith — and unbelief — trust — walk a fine line. We who know Jesus believe, but we are not immune to spasms of unbelief. God can do something … but will He?

If you remember, the scene unfolded with the father coming to Jesus after His disciples failed to cast out the demons. They were just as confounded. Jesus had told them to go out and heal in His name, but they couldn’t do it.  Jesus’ response, alluding to the disciples and followers as “faithless.”

That’s the message. You need the two phases of faith , the one that also includes trust. The father asks Jesus … STOP

… for help “if You can,” which is precisely the segue Jesus used to punctuate His point. “‘If you can’?” said Jesus. “Everything is possible for one who believes” (verse 23). That is was prompted the father’s’ previous statement.

We like to believe we believe. But often we also recognize our disbelief.

Help!

THOUGHT TO REMEMBER: My mantra is “Strong is beautiful.” You can be strong, powerful and beautiful — Serena Williams

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Hugs from an Angel

Posted on October 8, 2020 by wisdomfromafather

They say angels are all around us. Most of the time they don’t show themselves. But sometimes they take a human form, usually without the wings.

There is no doubt in my mind I had a very special angel make her way into my life at a very  vulnerable time in my life — Mary Lee Hendrickson Sampson, more affectionately known as Sonni. She earned her spot in heaven four years ago and, like my wife before her, is missed every day.

Sonni was a neighbor, a fellow writer, and a friend. She was also a widow, losing her husband about a year or so before I lost Karen. The four of us were casual neighborhood friends. We might see each other working in the yard and stop for a conversation, but we typically swam in different pools. Karen and I were on a long weekend when we heard about Scott’s death, and Sonni was at Wildwood when Karen died. All we did was exchange sympathy cards.

In retrospect it’s always amazing to see the hand of God present in our lives. After Karen died, I had this grand idea of writing a memory book of our life together for the kids. I envisioned a little book chronicling our life together from first meeting to final days and encompassing each of the many stops — and memories — along the way. What I thought would be a week or two exercise swelled into a bittersweet six month project complete with vintage photos as witness to the experiences. And, as all writers know — although we don’t like to admit it — the written word is only as good as an editor’s pen.

Enter Mary Lee Hendrickson Sampson. I asked her to proofread and edit the manuscript — 40 Years of Memories … In the Blink of an Eye — to make sure the i’s were dotted and the t’s crossed, and it made some sense as it flowed. She agreed.

As payment, I promised her dinner out. She chose McDonald’s. We were sitting at the corner table talking about the project when she suddenly got up and right in the middle of McDonald’s gave me my first real Sonni hug. It came from her soul … as it always did for all she came into contact with. Then she gave me the manuscript … and I never saw so much red ink in all my life!

It was all good. A couple of misspellings. A couple of phrases out of syntax. Questions about who was who, what was going on, when it happened, where we were, and why it was important to the story.

In that corner of McDonald’s I saw Sonni sprout virtual wings. Our relationship changed from casual to close friends. She decided, as a seasoned widow, she was going to take me under her wing to try and help me avoid the traps of widowhood. She was the salve that helped heal a broken heart — not repair it, not fill it, not replace it. I like to think we were helping each other get through the days of widow- and widower-hood. But deep down I knew I was the beneficiary in the relationship. We talked just about every day — if not directly, then certainly by phone or through messaging and e-mail. I knew when something was troubling her. She knew when I got into my “moods.” We had so many memories packed into a relatively short time.

When I took her for her pre-surgery doctor’s appointment visit about a week before she died, she told everyone she saw she didn’t want an x-ray. All day she fretted about the x-ray — it’s going to give me breast cancer … I’ve had too many … Why can’t they look at my last x-ray — until she was told no x-ray, no surgery. In the waiting room she continued to worry about the x-ray and was sharing her anxiety with me … within earshot of two women waiting for their husbands to return from PET scans. Next thing I knew the four of us — okay, mostly the three women — were engaged in a conversation about anxiety, x-rays, and their spouses’ conditions. Sonni went in for the x-ray — only about two minutes — and returned a little relieved and continued with her conversations. One of the husbands returned from his test and before we left we all were laughing and joking. And we had to participate in a group and individual hug.

That was Sonni. She believed in the therapeutic magic of a hug.

I’ve wondered during this pandemic how the diminutive Miss Sonni n would have reacted. I know she would have been very cautious and probably would have masked, railing at those who either didn’t wear them correctly or not at all — all with love. But I don’t think she would have given up on her hugs. Her hugs were real. Her hugs were therapeutic. Her hugs was a touch from God.

As I tried to move on after Karen died and took my trips to Maine, Sonni would always challenge my motives. Why did I choose Maine? And invariably it would all come back to Karen. It’s what she wanted. It’s what she would have loved. And she would just say, “Uh huh.” No wagging finger. No extended conversation. Just a simple “Uh huh.”

When I told her about the mill apartment in Maine, she asked the same question. This time, however, I gushed about the view, the high ceilings, the old wooden beams, a brand new kitchen with all the necessary equipment and no maintenance inside or out. In short, I told her it was what I was looking for. In fact, I don’t remember mentioning Karen once.

We were again discussing the move on the way back from her surgery. She grabbed my hand, squeezed it and said, “My job is done.” Two days later she suffered an overnight stroke and four years tomorrow (Oct. 9) she left this world a little brighter.

In so many ways, Sonni and Karen were cut from the same cloth. They were both strong-willed, independent, organized — yet so very fragile and too stubborn to ask for help. Often those traits got in the way of them enjoying life. They both could come up with a thousand excuses why not to go out, to go on that trip, to just stop for a minute to smell the roses.  But they were always there for you when you needed them.

As I was driving and mentally preparing her eulogy, the sky was cloudy, except for two beams of sunshine. I envisioned in my mind’s eye Sonni with her Diet Pepsi and Karen with her water turned into exquisite wine toasting each other on celestial lounge chairs. I can see them laughing at the foolish things I say and do without their physical sphere of influence. I see them taking turns proverbially whacking me in the back of the head when I REALLY do or say something foolish. I really miss them — both of them  — every day.

Yes, God sends people into our lives. There is no doubt in my mind, God placed Sonni in my world.

THOUGHT TO REMEMBER: Always be on the lookout for the presence of wonder. — E.B.White

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Smile Time

Posted on October 7, 2020 by wisdomfromafather

One of the misconceptions about being a Christian is non-Christians think we don’t know how to have fun or have a sense of humor. Trust me, if the Big Guy can have a sense of humor when it comes to dealing with us mere mortals, so can we.

The difference for Christians is we don’t have to debase ourselves or others to generate a smile. Laughter at life or ourselves is a gift from God.

Here’s this week’s edition of Midweek Mirth  … so let’s smile a little!

True Story from Matt Felts (of the Lesters):

So here’s one for the book. We were in Iowa last night and after the concert nothing was open to eat so we stopped at a gas station to grange. While looking at my microwaveable options the young girl behind the counter asked me (in a frantic voice) to come in the back room to help her. I went back and had to help load the syrup for the fountain drinks. I went back out to hear her once again ask for help. OK, this time it wasn’t really asking. I was ordered. Once in the back room she left “to ring up customers” since she felt I “had this.” Suddenly I’m working for the quick mart. LOL!

The up-side was that when I “went on break” and finally checked out, she gave me the employee discount on my drink. No joke! LOL!”

… and now for the bonus …

Quiet Assistance

A man stopped to help a woman with a flat tire on her car. As he started to raise the jack, she said to him, “Please do it as quietly as you can. My husband is asleep in the back seat.”

THOUGHT TO REMEMBER: Look up, laugh loud, talk big, keep the color in your cheek and the fire in your eye, adorn your person, maintain your health, your beauty and your animal spirits. – William Hazlitt

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